DH and I were at Costco Friday talking about how we both feel this one (22w preggo with #2) isn't our last, and that we don't feel two is it for us. We have always said 3 or 4, but how do you know? Mom's who are done, how do you know you're done regardless of number?
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We're done with two. We know for sure due to financial reasons, lack of energy/attention to split three ways, and the possibility of having another with special needs and/or a high risk pregnancy is terrifying to me.
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Like @beaker: its a mix of financial reasons, lack of energy, lack of hands (2 kids 2 parents or 3 kids 2 parents) , my age, etc.
ETA: I am done for sure - had my tubes cut after #2
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I don't know. There are things we could always "do" to not be done but...I don't' know if we're willing to do them.
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When we had one, I felt like our family wasn't quite complete. Now we have two, and I love our family of four. So it's just a feeling that I have.
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Not done (just getting started!), but we are 100% only having two unless the second is multiples. DH grew up with a twin sister, two younger brothers, and 2 stepbrothers. His family was constantly super poor, and his mom never got a break because they all played sports and things that she had to drive them to. He feels like none of them got the individual attention they needed, and that their lives could have been a lot better if they'd not been so stretched financially (he had to get a hardship license at 14 so he could work to help support the family). So he absolutely will not even consider more than 2. He'd actually prefer 1, but since I'm an only child I vetoed that and we compromised on 2. If I felt really strongly that I wanted more than 2, I think he'd at least be willing to discuss it. But since 3 sounds overwhelming, and several of my family members have 2 and it seems like a nice number, I'm okay with it. He plans to get a vasectomy as soon as number 2 is born.
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I feel like its hard to know for sure until you get there and even then things can change but in my case I had to work hard to get to 2 so that's it unless my husband changes his mind. I would love more but I understand how he feels going beyond 2 and I can be happy with that number. Who knows I may find myself feeling reag done afterwards. I just hope we can get pregnant again!
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we're two and done because it gets easier as the kids get older, and i don't want to go through the first two years again. i can't imagine being outnumbered because even two is tough!
financially, space-wise it would be difficult too. i grew up with just one brother, so that family size is what i'm used to. we're definitely 2 and done -- that was always the plan and what we're sticking to!
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We're done until these two are at least in kindergarten. Financially daycare full time for more than 2 wouldn't be financially feasible.
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We feel our family is complete (well, we want a dog, but that's it). We had planned on having a third while I was pregnant with DS2 but after he was born we both felt like we didn't need/want any more. We love our little family of 4.
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I'm reading my old threads I started and feel the need to follow up apparently!
3w pp with #2 who is much easier and amazing than #1 for newborn days, I am feeling very done. Very, very done. This may pass, but I rember having baby fever one week after #1 was born and from when #2 was born to now I have felt so complete in terms of family and kid numbers! I am still open to this changing if my thoughts and feelings did change, so interested to see if they do, but also interested to see if this is the true feeling of being done that I didn't know what would be or feel like!
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@Beebug: I'm glad things are going so well with the new baby!
I know it can change but I'm feeling pretty set on "just" one more too.
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I always wanted 2. We now have 2 and I just feel done. While I love having a baby, I think I'm ready for life to move on and enjoy and explore the world as a family of 4.
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I've always wanted 3 (DH and I both grew up with 2 or 3 siblings) but pregnancy and the first 6 months were so rough, I told DH I think I only have it in me to do it 1 more time. After that, we can see how we feel but I really think that we will be done after #2. Plus, $$ is a factor, unfortunately.
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@Beebug: haha I was just coming to respond that DH and I are in the same spot as you were. Pregnant with #2,definitely want at least two but in an ideal world 3 or 4. But for now we're leaving it open ended to see how having two is like first.
We've had the "are we done" conversation a few times this pregnancy. I think we would just wait and see!
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@Beebug: I am so glad that everything is going well!
I am nowhere near done yet, but DH and I have always said 2-3, and that we will have no idea whether we want a 3rd until we have 2... then we will see how it goes. I *think* (hope?) that you get to a place that feels right and then you know you're ready to stop/go for more.
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I am at three and totally want one more! I don't know why, because it's hard right now (4 year old, 2 year old, 5month old), but I keep thinking about life with four when they are 8,10,12,14 and it just seems so perfect. It probably has something to do with the fact we don't have family close, so siblings are all my kids have for family.
DH, is NOT on board though.....
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DH and I are on different boats, I think 2 and through for me I think a family of 4 is perfect, he thinks a family of 5. I'm not completely shutting it down, it will all depend on how my next pregnancy goes, if it's as rough as the first then I will be done.
I know it can change but I'm feeling pretty set on "just" one more too.
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