One of the hardest parts of starting a family is figuring out how to divvy up the holidays so that no one is offended.
Now that we have two kids, we have an easy way to divvy up the holidays. We will visit no one, and they can come to us if they are able to! 
Maybe next year, we'll consider traveling... just kidding.
How do you plan to divide up Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and various other holiday season occasions between your various parents, step-parents and in-laws?
nectarine / 2019 posts
My parents are still married so that's 1. Then DH's parents are divorced, but DH was raised a Jehovah Witness, his father is the only one still practicing that religion, so we don't have to see him on holidays. This leaves his Mom and siblings for us to see. They really have no holiday traditions (celebrating for maybe 5 years), so they actually love to come to our house since I really am super into it. So we usually go to my parents earlier in the day, my father's from the south and his xmas breakfast is to die for, and then DH's family comes to our house in the afternoon.
pomegranate / 3329 posts
We have a busy day, lol.
This year we told them to come us.
My parents are only 5 minutes away, we go there in the morning for breakfast, stockings and gifts. Then we go to his Dad and Step Mom's, and back to my parents for dinner. We always invite them to come with us. His family does Christmas Eve usually.
pear / 1639 posts
Both of our families live in the same town, so we have to visit them 
My dad is out of town this year, so I will go spend Thanksgiving morning with my mom while DH hunts, then we will go to my in-laws for dinner. For Christmas, we normally go to my in-laws for Christmas Eve, and then spend Christmas with my family (but stop by his for a bit). It works out pretty well, and our parents only live about 10 minutes from each other, so it doesn't take long to get to and from their houses to the others'.
We actually did Thanksgiving at our house last year, that was a lot of work! And then we did Christmas morning at our house too, and it was really nice to not drive anywhere!
pear / 1852 posts
Every year so far has been different. This year we'll go up to visit his folks for one overnight about a week before Christmas due to work schedules, and see mine at church on Christmas eve. We'll also see mine a ton more over the season since we all live in the same city, we'll have new years dinner with mine, which is one tradition which is the same every year, since his family doesn't get together for new years day.
pomegranate / 3706 posts
After we both grew up in broken homes, hating all of the holidays because we spent them in the car going from house to house so as not to offend anyone, we are over it! The last few years we've picked one place to be for each holiday and that's that. We make sure to rotate each year so everyone gets a turn. Next year, when baby is here, everyone is invited to our place and if they can come, great, if not, we'll just see them another time.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
We aren't really able to divvy up our time evenly. My dad, step mom, mom, and step dad all live across the country. My husband's dad also lives across the country. So for the past few years we haven't seen them on the holidays at all. I hope one year we will be able to go see them. It is hard for my husband to get off work around the holidays because everyone wants to take vacation. It doesn't make since for us to spend so much money on a plane ticket and have only a one or two day visit.
We usually see my mother in law for Thanksgiving or Christmas because she only lives a four hour drive away.
I hope that once we have kids we will be able to convince everyone to come to our house to spend a holiday.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
I wish it were simple for us, but it's not because we have families on two continents. It makes me sad we all can't be together, when someone asks me what I want for Christmas I usually respond that I would like both of our families to move to a new location so we can all be together!
What we do is spend Christmas one year with my parents and Christmas the next with my husband's parents. My parents can not fly together because my little brother won't get on an airplane and my IL's won't come to Christmas in the US because they have other grandchildren.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
It's unfair but easy in our case. Dh's parents live 12 hours away and care for his grandmother. They can't travel with her. We can't afford to go down there this year so, that solves that. My parents are coming for Thanksgiving. They'll go see my brother's family (14 hours away) at Christmas. This will be the first year I won't see my parents for Christmas and I know it will be tough but we're making our own tradition. Once the baby comes, we'll spend Christmas at our house. We may see his sister at New Years.
pear / 1554 posts
Luckily we won't have a problem with dividing up our holidays since everyone of our immediate families are back in the States. My mom is coming to Japan for Christmas to help with the new baby, so we will spend Christmas with her. Thanksgiving will just be hubby and me.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Our holidays are pretty easy, we're lucky! My mom does a huge Thanksgiving brunch so she doesn't care about the traditional dinner, and my in laws get that.
We're Jewish so we have 8 days to celebrate Chanukah. We just pick what day is best for each family.
wonderful pomelo / 30692 posts
Thanksgiving and Christmas are our major holidays, so we divvy them up equally. My family gets us one day, and my husband's family gets us the other. And then we switch. For example, this year, my husband's family has us for Thanksgiving, and my family has us for Christmas. Next year my family will get Thanksgiving and his family will get Christmas.
The only issue is that my husband's parents are divorced, so there are two sets of them. We usually just do whatever my SIL is doing, so that the whole family (minus a parent) will be together for the day. Usually that means my MIL kind of misses out, because she never invites us over before my FIL does. Oh well! It's her own fault, in my opinion.
coffee bean / 48 posts
We alternate Thanksgiving and Christmas. This year we will travel to my family on Thanksgiving and to my husbands family on Christmas. We also make sure to spend some time with each family during the summer.
apricot / 260 posts
We alternate Christmas. This year, with Wombat being so young, we'd stay home no matter what though, but it works out since it's home year. Next year, it's Christmas at his Dad's house. The other holidays, we just stay home.
apricot / 254 posts
Thankfully my family is very flexible so we don't always celebrate holiday's on the actual holiday. Both hubby and my family are an our away (in opposite directions), so it would be so hectic traveling to everyone. Not to mention my brother is 6 hours away. So we often celebrate over the entire weekend or on a different day with my family, and usually celebrate on the actual holiday with my hubby's family (he has a very large family, much more difficult to change everyone else's schedules).
apricot / 256 posts
We are really lucky because my husband's family is Jewish and doesn't celebrate Christmas. This makes it easy to split up Holidays because we just go to my ILs for Thanksgiving, my mom's for Christmas Eve and half of Christmas Day and my dad and step mom's for the other half of Christmas Day.
I feel fortunate that we don't have arguments over this topic!
grapefruit / 4400 posts
My parents are divorced; my mom lives near us and my dad lives in DC. We never see him for the holidays.
Hubs' parents usually host all holidays, but last year we did Xmas Eve. This year we're doing Thanksgiving, and will prob be there Xmas Eve, with my mom on Xmas, and with his family again the day after Xmas (his mom's birthday). Xmas Eve is a bigger deal for his family, so we spend actual Xmas day with my mom.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
We created a system this year that seems to work (until we have children that is)
Thanksgiving: is spent with DH's family (mom's side and dad's side both)
Christmas Eve: Day is spent at his parents house & Christmas Eve night is spent at my parents.
Christmas Day: spent with my dad's side of the family
Christmas Night: Spent with DH's mom's side of the family
My mom's side of the family does a combination of Thanksgiving/Christmas the beginning of December so we are able to spend all day with them.
Lots of family, but it is so important to us that we want to make sure we get to enjoy it and not have to rush off. That is why we started to seperate it out and only allow 2 functions on the same day.
honeydew / 7968 posts
last year, we didn't spend thanksgiving with the in-laws, so we're spending it with them this year. not sure what we're doing for xmas, but most likely, hubs is on call, so we'll probably just stay at home.
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