Hellobee Boards

Great question! My usage sounds very similar to yours (started in late high school/early college, and have photos of that time, dating my husband, our engagement, wedding, and various vacations). I now pretty much only post a few vacation photos, or if we are dressed up for an event. I do use it to communicate with some relatives that live further away, and my friend group uses the events section to plan things.

We are expecting our first child in April, and I've lately been wondering how to handle photos of our baby. I'm not sure whether I want to just cut down my friends list, or if I should use a different photo sharing service. I have a friend that uses a photo sharing website, but I don't like that it emails me every day with photos of her kid. It's just too much... That's what I like about facebook, I can just look when I want to.

I'm curious what others have to say!

I started FaceBook in college when it was only available to college students! I've since deleted most of my younger partying pictures haha. I also go through a friends purge every year or so, making sure people that see my posts/pictures are people I actually still have a connection with. I mostly post from IG and let that share into FB. I am also very careful with privacy and what's on my page.

Nowadays I mostly use FB for groups. I check my local moms group for things to do with kids, recommendations for places/people, etc. Mommy's groups for questions/support. I def comment more on friends posts/pictures than I post my own.

My husband and I had a shared a FB page as neither one of us are huge social media people; however, with all of the travel we do (and the fact we live so far away from family and friends) we felt compelled to "stay connected." I abandoned FB after people on my page began posting political propaganda and having social debates (Clinton v Trump) with others (which escalated into name calling) during the last Presidential election. I "friendscaped" many people after I asked that they stop repeatedly and then was berated (ON MY HUSBAND'S AND MY PAGE, mind you) for not voting because I did not like my presented Presidental choices and could not find a lesser evil. All messages were deleted and I have yet to return to FB ... It left a bad taste for me. My husband made a few updates last year, but nothing that I know of since. We used to post family pictures and updates (MOS changes, deployments, balls, moves, updates with the kids, fun activities, graduations, parties, etc) so everyone felt as if they were participating from afar. DH and I had all security settings on so only those invited "friends" could view our content.

I just use it to follow groups - i.e. a local food allergy group, a moms' group. I don't visit that often. I also joined during college, used to post more, but haven't posted in at least a few years.

I feel like there's been a general decline in facebook activity amongst people I know. In contrast, so many people seem to be using twitter.

@josina: Yes, I can't believe the mundane/random stuff I used to post!

Like, "Econ final today UGH." Why did I think the world cared about that?!

@skinnycow: lol, I have some really dumb ones, like 'eating lucky charms'. My old self was so embarrassing.

@Lahela017: I don’t post pictures of my kids on Facebook, and decided this years before they were born. My Instagram is private and has a much smaller list of people, so that’s where kid pics are.

To answer the OP’s question, I pretty much use Facebook for the BST pages, and one of my besties and I chat on messenger. I went to summer camp years ago, and we had a massive international staff, and I’ve found many friends from that period of life via Facebook. Since we’re connected there it makes it easier to get in touch if we’ll be in their neck of the woods or the other way around. Beyond that, though, I’ve definitely considered closing my account.

I deleted my real Facebook account in 2013 because IMO it’s a digital cesspool. Started a new, fake account this summer to be a member of my new town’s mommy group and lounge group. I use it to find electricians, plumbers, where to go apple picking and to keep abreast of car break-in rings, which it is terrific for. I only check it when I need something. Zero personal information on it

I really like seeing other people’s reaponses here because I’ve been questioning Facebook for a while now but don’t have the guts to quit! I use messenger a lot with my grandma to send pics and chat as well as have a bunch of group messages with old friends. I don’t post much besides major events like our sons being born, cute pics every so often. I have my privacy settings very strict and I just deleted a bunch of random people and unfollowed a little while ago. I can part of several groups for buy nothing and local moms which is great.

From all the corruption and fake news and junk that’s been happening on social media, I am starting to question it for sure. Whether by using Facebook I’m supporting this behemoth that is a danger to our society. But I struggle because I feel I would lose touch with those who I talk to a lot but live far away unless we all decide as a group to move elsewhere...but then is any platform really not corrupt and messed up?! So for now I stay put.

I also am of the generation to have gotten Facebook when you could only join if you were in university and college and remember telling all my housemates to join so we could post pics of each other being drunk haha

@LCTBQE: this is fascinating. do you have a fake photo and everything?!

@pachamama: “how Facebook uses me”—seriously. My profile picture is one photo of my son as a baby, and it’s my real name—the mommy group I made the account to join is private (even though it’s like 12k members) and serious about only letting real people join—I had to send them a picture of our gas bill to prove I was real and not a troll. But I only have two friends (other moms here, not people I really know well) and it’s otherwise totally blank. My husband uses fb to lurk but has a real account. He asked me if we could be friends and I said no and rejected his request

@Kaohinani: I'm curious about how you and your husband share a page? Does one of you run it? I think in the scenario of wanting to keep people up-to-date it'd probably be one of us versus a joint page, which is why I'm asking! It doesn't surprise me that people were upset if you publicly posted you didn't vote, but sorry it left a bad taste in your mouth. People are pretty passionate about voting, especially in the current political climate. I'm sure if you have friends who aren't eligible to vote it might have ruffled feathers that you chose not to. But my guess is you realized that after you posted .

I use facebook like a classifieds/group tool. Sometimes I scroll through my feed for the major life changes, but it is mostly posts from my mom groups and neighborhood groups.

I should probably do a purge of friends, but I only post 3-4 times a year total. Usually when my child has done something super adorable or mindbogglingly hilarious. If I want to share with family though, we have a slack that works much better for us.

I got facebook in college, but was fairly tame in my posts, so I've only untagged myself a few times.

Facebook is... hard. I had it in college, but I thought I was going into education so was VERY careful at the time what I posted (pictures and otherwise). I have deleted a few things that have popped up in memories (SO ANGSTY, ugh), but not a lot. I used it a LOT when my nephew and nieces were babies, because I was the main photographer for the family. StepSister (parent of 2 of the kids) didn't have a camera or a smart phone, so the pictures I have of the kids are really some of the only pictures she has of those times.

For DD, we keep her mostly off of all social media. The internet is just so scary, and I'm not fluent enough in legal-ease to truly understand the terms & conditions I agree to on Facebook, so it just feels safer to proceed with caution. Any pictures that are posted are either group shots or a shot from behind. We've asked family to ask us before posting any pictures of her. We're not hard set with those rules, but she's 18 months old now with maybe a dozen shots of herself on Facebook. We did an announcement when she was born (and again a few months later when my family was being asked if she was ok) of our intentions to keep her mostly off social media, and communicated our willingness to share pictures personally if needed (like via email). We also made sure to print physical pictures for my parents and ILs, so they could share those with family if "needed".

On top of the safety thing: honestly, I feel like it will be SUCH a gift in our kids' generation to have a blank-ish slate when it comes to having an internet presence. As an example, my SIL posted a shot of my niece in her crib at 10 months... with her walls and sheets smeared with poo, and a naughty grin on the baby. Even if it was the CUTEST (I don't personally think it is), why run the risk of exposing your kids to bullying down the road? What if it went viral because you forgot to set the privacy settings? For my DH and I, risk wasn't worth reward.

I use it kind of like my blog reel or news information. I follow blogs, news sources, and like to read the articles that comes up. Occasionally, I like to see pics of old friends and their families as a way to connect. If there is an excessive poster about politics, or any other useless topics that is taking over my feed, I hide them or unfollow them. I do post like a monthly pictures (to free up space on my phone) and like to have it one place. I'm sure there are other apps and services that do this...but I can't find a good one bc this is easy.

@Kaohinani: Yes, it was definitely not a family member's place to share information like that. How frustrating. I hope you were able to vote in the midterms on your own terms! Please thank your husband and sister for their service; we really appreciate it!!!

DH and I both are very anti-FB. We don't have accounts. Not only do we not agree with how the company acts, but we also don't like how the content pushed on it molds/manipulates people's opinions in an endless echo chamber. I basically believe it's teaching people, especially older generations who are on it a TON, how to not think. It's shrinking their compassion for others. My mom has fallen prey to numerous scams and lost a good deal of money, and FB did nothing about it. We also don't post any photos of our faces on social media and won't post our child's face either. How our child wants to be represented online is up to him/her to decide when she/he's older. Who knows what the internet will be like by then!