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Oh man. This hits home for me. My mom and I have a VERY strained relationship. Like you, it's a long story and I don't want to go into detail on here, but I don't really even want a relationship with her, at this point. When she found out I was pregnant, she went crazy. Started calling/emailing/texting all the time. Telling me how much she loves me and how excited she is that her "baby is having a baby!". And she has sent us a TON of stuff for the baby. Like 10 times more than anyone else. I know it's all a ploy to guilt me into having a closer relationship with her, though. Things came to a head recently and I had to tell her to back the F off. I eventually even asked that she not come up when the baby is born (we live a long way away from family). So yeah, my own mother is not welcome to come to visit me and my baby after the birth.

Most people that I've talked to about this warn me not to push her away because "she's the only mother you've got", but personally, I don't buy into that. My #1 responsibility is to my family and my child. They come first. Also, my sanity is more important than her feelings. I'm not going to compromise who I am just to make her feel better about herself.

So, yeah. I feel ya. I say you need to think long and hard about what YOU want and what's best for you and your family. Make sure that you won't have any regrets later on about decisions you make now. But if, in the end, you decide that your mom is poison to your family, it doesn't make you a bad person. There's more to family than blood.

My relationship with my mom is also tricky. She's been a single mom (with boyfriends on/off again) for my whole life. I'm also an only child. She can be quite overbearing and also wants to be involved in EVERY aspect of my life. She's also positive that I love my in-laws more than her (very untrue). Since having LO she tends to tell me all the things I'm doing wrong, without actually telling me (e.g. as she's changing LO she'll say to him "tell your mom these wipes are too cold," etc). It's definitely not always a rosy relationship unfortunately.

I have a great relationship with my mom. We can chat for hours about anything. Sad that we live so far away, but we skype once a week and talk on the phone almost every day.

I'm so sorry that you have a difficult relationship.

My mom and I have a great Relationship and we talk to or three times at least a day.

@Keppa: This is my relationship with my mom-- with the exception of the boyfriends thing. She didn't have ANY boyfriends or any friends at all, so her entire life was me, me, me. Then I got older and started wanting my own life, and then she started to get really resentful that I wasn't including her in everything like she included me.

I hope that LO and I have a much MUCH better relationship than I do with my own mother.

I also have a strained relationship with my mum. She has really low self esteem and, like PPs have said of their mothers, she's all about me. She's open with anyone who will listen about how lonely she is (divorced 19 yrs now and no other children) but she refuses to do anything with anyone except me. She wont visit me unless I pick her up and drop her off afterwards (I tend to just visit her instead), she wont eat proper food unless I take her shopping (she's only 62) and she never asks for anything directly, preferring to cry about how I "never do this for her" or "don't care that she X,Y,Z" until I work out what she wants and offer to do it/get it. She's never had DH round for dinner because she says she's too old to cook now and she wont invite anyone else over because she's "ashamed of her house".

She's already started dropping hints about how she doesn't suppose she will get to be a part of her grandchild's life, she supposes his/her other grandparents (inlaws - who she is SUPER jealous of) will get to see him/her more. It's a shame because I want to have a better relationship with her and I want her to be part of my LOs life but it's going to be such an effort including her. If the inlaws want to see LO they will come round (and probably bring a casserole!) or they'll invite us for dinner. But one of us will have to go and fetch my mum or pack up LO and take him/her round.....

I'm just moaning now!!

I'm so sorry you have such a strained relationship with your mum, too. Your situation sounds quite different - and you have to protect your child and yourself emotionally. You know what the right thing is to do - your priority has to be your little family now.

My mom is my best friend.

I hadn't spoken with my mom throughout my entire pregnancy. She started texting me when she found out LO was born. I shared our private photo site with her and every now and then she will email me. It's better that way for me for many reasons that i won't go into the details but basically I am better off without her negativity in my life. She is not a good person and my LO is more important than trying to build a relationship with her right now. Do what's best for you and your family.

I'm not even TTC and won't be for quite a while yet. But I'm already afraid of this.

My mother is bipolar, and her illness has definitely negatively affected our relationship.

I only talk to her a couple of times per year, so, discussing any kind of big life news is awkward at best. I separated from my wife over the summer, and my mother still doesn't know. I called her on her birthday and on mother's day, but, my calls weren't returned.

I have no idea if she's specifically not talking to me for a reason, or if she's been unusually unstable recently. Or both.

My mom is my best friend. She's the only person I can talk on the phone with for over an hour.

I have a good relationship with my mom. She's wonderful. I wish I got to see her more.