Hellobee Boards

I guess the number of times to see them a week would be different for everyone, so I am not sure how to answer that, but do you think if you said dinner every Sunday or whatever day of the week works best and having that set time would help. Maybe having that set time and the have DH run things by you if it is something different than that time would help you get on the same page.

Million dollar question!!
To stop resenting them you'd probably have to get DH on board with your feelings about them visiting, and you'd have to feel comfortable standing up for yourself and voicing your opinions. It's hard to force your MIL to listen though...

if she's not respecting you, i would say 0-1 visits per week.

i agree that your husband needs to understand how it makes you feel and be on board with you. i'm the one in my relationship that has to set the boundaries with my parents, who live 10 minutes away. it's not easy, but this is what i have to do and what i continue to work on. my priority is DH and LO, and so i clear everything with him first or say no even if it hurts/offends my parents a bit.

as a new mom, you and DH are figuring out this parenting thing, and you should be able to go through the trial and error process on your own without someone standing over your shoulder. constructive help is one thing, but second guessing is another. it's very undermining and confuses things even more.

@grizz: what does your husband have to say about the increased visits? Why does he think 4+ visits is okay now? Does he think you guys need help with the baby or that he "owes" his parents access to your son? Also, I remember my husband saying that he had no clue that I was struggling with adjusting to motherhood, maybe your husband is just clueless?

@grizz: blech, how manipulative! It's definitely a sensitive subject, but maybe you can do what another poster suggested and schedule set visits (say Wed night dinners and Sunday brunches). If they pull the "old person" card, your husband can remind them they are *guarenteed* a visit on such-and-such day and surely they'll be alive in a few days.

I feel the closeness issue too! I make sure my son & I Skype with my family every single week because his family visits in person more often. I want my kid to be equally close to my parents as my husbands!

@Smurfette: Ok... so I guess I shouldn't snuggle baby smurfette tomorrow and refuse to give her back to you??

Can you have an honest discussion with your husband and tell him that you WANT to have a good relationship with his parents and not shut them out, but seeing them everyday is preventing that. I have a fairly good relationship with my in-laws, but I don't want to see them everyday.