Do you like the amount you are responsible for? Resent it?
When I was a kid, I was always responsible for helping with Thanksgiving because I am a girl. 
So, I do as little as possible now and my husband does most of it for his family's Thanksgiving and I do the bare minimum for my family's Thanksgiving (I would like to point out that my brothers still do nothing but show up...)
Anyway, I probably do 20%. I will go get pies, make one side dish but that's it...
grapefruit / 4492 posts
Since having kids, I just have to supply the house and make green bean casserole. My parents come up the night before and basically clean the kitchen/living/dining room area; my mom still makes the turkey, my sisters bring sides and pies, other relatives makes sides, and then my dad always does the dishes and puts things away.
nectarine / 2641 posts
My only job is to bring the children. I assume some day it will evolve, but the first year of adult Thanksgiving in its current form, I was 3 days from giving birth, so everyone told me not to participate. And that just seems to continue to be the plan. I’ve offered, but my mom always passes, and I don’t push too hard 
nectarine / 2460 posts
It varies year to year. Sometimes we host and I'm responsible for most of it. Some years we don't and usually bring a dish or two. I'm typically responsible for dessert and wine since I'm both the family baker and oenophile.
persimmon / 1390 posts
We do Thanksgiving with my husbands family. This year I’m just responsible for rolls, and they always get a particular store bought brand. I offered to also make a Greek yogurt cheesecake. There are lots of families involved, and while we are adults now and have baby #3 on the way we are still really considered “the kids.”
I hosted last year and I did most of the side dishes, while my mom did the turkey.
pear / 1565 posts
We are an immigrant family, so Thanksgiving was a new tradition to us anyway! Since we didn't have much family at all, we usually spent it with friends for many years. Now that our families have all expanded, it's def a team effort but I will say whoever hosts usually cooks the most. But my mom doesn't mind cooking the "sides" since DH takes up the turkey responsibility. And my sister is good at baking so she takes care of dessert!
grapefruit / 4361 posts
Years 1-4 of marriage / adulthood: nothing, we didn't celebrate Thanksgiving with a feast or family, we traveled on our own
Year 5: We hosted DH's parents from out of state and he made the (simple) dinner - I generally don't cook
Years 6-10: DH's parents hosted and cooked, I bring nothing though this year I think I'll bring cookies as a birthday dessert for DH
Year 8 in there: Babymoon as a family of 3, no feast
pear / 1992 posts
It's all completely dependent on where we are and who we are with. I've always loved cooking, and tend to get a lot of satisfaction from being a hostess so keep that in mind.
In college, I would host a friends-giving where anyone who wasn't traveling to be with family could come. They bring drinks, I make the whole feast. All the dishes from the turkey to the pies.
If I am hosting I always provide at least the turkey and several other dishes, but I let the guests speak up about what they'd like to bring (if anything) before I decide what else there is to make.
If we are with my family or staying locally with friends and our kids, I tend to fill in the blanks. Whatever isn't being made or supplied by others I will take on.
When we are with DH's family (like we are this year) it's a potluck-style event and people have the dishes they like to bring each year with a little variation here and there. I always bring stuffing for these years, and this year I'm also bringing a fall salad and corn casserole.
So yeah, it varies! But I love to cook and host so
blogger / kiwi / 626 posts
Growing up, I helped my mom for three days to make a giant feast, and I honestly loved it, but I REALLLLLY love cooking. As an adult now, we go to my mother in laws house and she does not cook often, so I make one or two side dishes and all desserts. Its a nice mix for us, and I know that she really loves making the meal.
I hope that someday in the future, I will be able to host and cook the entire meal. Cooking for others is how I show my love, so to me, this is the ultimate opportunity to show love. 
pomegranate / 3355 posts
It varies from year to year and who we are with and where we are.
This year it's at our house, just us and my mom.
So I am responsible for about half the stuff. Corn, carrots, rolls, sweet potato casserole and some type of dessert. Dh will do the rest.
When we go to DH's parents we bring the corn dish and rolls
If we go to DH's Grandparents we bring nothing but the kids.
If we go to my family the corn dish.
pomegranate / 3355 posts
@crazydoglady: it's scalloped corn... basically corn/breadcrumbs/eggs/milk/seasoning..... nothing hard or fancy
apricot / 322 posts
@crazydoglady: I love cooking and baking so i try to claim as much as the host will let me. This year I'm making Brussel sprouts and rolls, and my husband is making a quinoa dish (as the only person attending who likes quinoa). Such a good point about the expectations of men v women!
clementine / 828 posts
We usually host my side of the family, but my husband is the main cook. I usually make a few vegetables, usually a salad, and probably roasted asparagus. I do these mostly because I care more about having delicious vegetables than my husband. I have made a dessert some years, but my husband has taken over. I also often help my husband with things like chopping.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
Growing up the men never lifted a finger, just watched football all day. Host would do much of it, female guests would bring side dishes, single male guests nothing... so I hear you!
Now, totally depends: my husband's family doesn't really celebrate, after a couple of years of that I told DH I needed my Thanksgiving meal and asked we at least go out somewhere with traditional Thanksgiving food options if visiting them. Visiting my parents, I help my mom out with whatever she wants help on. Hosting, I'm responsible...
persimmon / 1380 posts
Growing up thanksgiving was my mom’s favorite holiday because my dad cooked the whole meal with my grandma.
These days we alternate years between going to my aunt’s and I’m responsible for nothing and my in-laws and I usually bring a side dish.
pomelo / 5573 posts
Usually my mom brings the turkey/stuffing/gravy and the pie, and I make all the sides. I hate it and find it super stressful because my mom is an incredibly messy cook and somehow everything gets dirty. Everything. It is terrible and I hate it so much that I think next year we might order in.
pomelo / 5084 posts
@crazydoglady: 0%. We always travel by plane to be with my in-laws for thanksgiving. So we sponsor (aka reimburse) the Bloody Mary bar for thanksgiving morning each year 
kiwi / 556 posts
I’m usually happy about things. But this year and last I’ve hated where we’re living (it’s not terrible there’s just very little that’s ideal about it).
I tend to do 80% of the food, cooking and cleaning. My husband makes pies (I make the crust). My sister does mashed potatoes and my brother usually brings whatever he wants (usually 1-2 sides). I do turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry, and a random vegetable (this year is plain roasted sweet potatoes).
For me I think clean up is way harder than cooking. I’d cook 100% of the food if I didn’t have to wash any dishes or clean the house at all.
eggplant / 11716 posts
I'm responsible for all of it!
Our families live far away, so it's usually just us (and we invite some friends whose families are also far away). I actually like to cook, so I don't resent the cooking part......I more resent the juggle of trying to cook while being a mom--you know, the kids will mess up the house faster than we can clean it, they'll want to "help" and will make everything take 3x as long. Cooking was way more pleasant pre-kids, that's for sure!
Also, it gets easier every year since now I have a few years under my belt. The turkey is easy. I don't make yeast rolls from scratch (I did that in my 20s when I only had to make 1-2 things), I just buy them frozen. Then I make pies the day before. Day of, I make green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, spicy sweet potatoes, gravy, and dressing.
I'm looking forward to the day when the kids can make things by themselves and help me, haha.
ETA: I'm responsible for the cooking part. My husband is responsible for cleaning the house for his friends and taking care of the kids while I cook. And being a whipping boy when I inevitably have one meltdown from stress the day of. Yay, husbands!
clementine / 830 posts
@wrkbrk: I love that! I am just Not A Cook and my sister also doesn’t have kids so my mom and sister do the lions share of the cooking and we contribute like one dish (and to be fair also a bunch of wine). But I bet a Bloody Mary bar would go over reeeally well.
pomelo / 5084 posts
@nwm: It’s a fun tradition and it feels special for the holidays. Plus if you are local and don’t have to get on a plane, all the ingredients and garnishes are super easy to find!
honeydew / 7463 posts
My parents come here for thanksgiving every other year. The years they come I do maybe 40% and my mom does 60%. But she has it down to a science and doesn’t mind at all. I’m like her sous chef and I take ownership of some very small things.
The years they don’t come, I do zero. We’ve gone to a nice restaurant for thanksgiving dinner or to my ILs. If we go to my ILs maybe I’ll make an app or dessert, but that’s only if I feel like it. It’s not necessary.
nectarine / 2436 posts
I show up, eat, and try not to roll my eyes at my BIL
kiwi / 662 posts
I make everything and we host. I love it! We get to make all of our favorite recipes and know we'll love the food (compared to the years before we started hosting when we traveled a long way for a meal that was not very good tbh). DH cleans/preps the house while I handle the meal. He hosts family while I cook. I stick to my schedule as far as popping things in and out of the oven, and it all flows really well. This year, we'll see how it goes now that we're throwing a LO into the mix, but I have a feeling the grandparents will be more than happy to watch him!
nectarine / 2797 posts
Ordering it from Wegmans. We only have my MIL there and I decided last year it wasn’t worth my effort to cook the whole shebang for 5 people, three of whom barely eat.
persimmon / 1005 posts
Usually everything. We don’t live near family and have only traveled to them once for Thanksgiving. That year I still made a ham and three sides so basically a whole dinner still. Sometimes family comes to us and they will usually offer to bring something but since they’re far away it’s not really practical.
| Today | Monthly Record | |
|---|---|---|
| Topics | 0 | 1 |
| Posts | 1 | 3 |
Ask for Help
Make a Suggestion
Frequently Asked Questions
Bee Levels
Acronyms
Most Viewed Posts
Hellobee Gold
Hellobee Recipes
Hellobee Features
Hellobee Contests
Baby-led Weaning
Bento Boxes
Breastfeeding
Newborn Essentials
Parties
Postpartum Care Essentials
Sensory Play Activities
Sleep Training
Starting Solids Gear
Transitioning to Toddler Bed
All Series
Who We Are
About the Bloggers
About the Hostesses
Contributing Bloggers
Apply to Blog
Apply to Hostess
Submit a Guest Blog
Hellobee Buttons
How We Make Money
Community Policies
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
26 comments