I've been hinting lately to my DH that we see his mom WAAAAY too often. She comes over 3 times a week, including Saturday. And on Saturday she spends all day with us (10am - 9pm!). I understand he wants to spend time with her and that she wants to spend time with us, but I really want the weekends to be family time (DH, me and my son) because those are the only 2 days we get to spend all day together.
How often do you see your in laws?
bananas / 9357 posts
@banana: Whoa that would drive me nuts seeing my MIL 3 times a week.
We go visit the in laws every couple of months. Mostly see them for birthdays and holidays. They own a business that doesn't allow them to leave very easily, so they rarely come see us. They live about an hour from us.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
Yikes! Although I love my inlaws, that's way too much time to spend with them. We usually go to dinner once a week with them or they come over to our house to visit for a few hours. I can understand your husband wants to see his mom, but I think it's time to upgrade the hints to obvious statements. 
kiwi / 525 posts
We live four miles from them, and thank god they're just great so we pop in once or twice a week. I hit the jackpot with the in laws, really. My sympathies to OP, that's a granny that doesn't know how to leave! I imagine she must be bored at home or something. My MIL v rarely comes to us, we always go to her, although when the babas are born that'll obv be reversed, but she's not the type to get in the way or anything.
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
Too often! Actually, it's only maybe once or twice a week but they monopolize our Saturdays (ie. "It's the only day we can all spend time together!") - a few weeks ago my MIL wanted us to come over on a Saturday and I put my foot down and said no. We hadn't had a weekend of just us in months!
persimmon / 1134 posts
All day Saturday?! Wow! That's pretty extreme. I see my in laws probably about once a week, give or take.
coconut / 8299 posts
@BabyBoecksMom: I'd like to make obvious statements but I have no idea how to approach it! Any suggestions?? =\
@rubies: That's like us too. Saturdays should be family time (immediate family....not extended). Have you talked to your DH about it? I haven't approached him about it fully because I'm too chicken. I don't want him to get upset or mad about it. I'm just not sure what to do at this point.
cantaloupe / 6397 posts
@banana: holy! That's way too much. I see my ILs usually once a week for Sunday dinner and sometimes that seems like a lot to me!!!
nectarine / 2886 posts
Wow, you all see your in-laws often! Fortunately, my in-laws live 5-6 hours away, so we only see them 3-4 times a year but even that is too often for both me and my husband. I fear once the LO arrives, the visits will become more frequent.
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
@banana: Oh, my husband knows how I feel - he thinks it's funny when I rant on about his family (I love my in-laws, it's just that I get too much of them!). Usually, I'll just let it go and sacrifice our Saturday but when I say "no", DH knows I mean business (and family time).
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Almost never - no family in state!
I agree, all day Saturday is way too much!
pear / 1554 posts
Maybe once a year....we live overseas and will try to go back stateside once a year but sometimes we skip it and will opt to go on a big vacation instead.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Once or twice a week. We see my parents more though so I cant complain.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Maybe once a year. They were here two weekends ago and we hadn't seen them since our wedding in October 2010. We live in NC, they live in FL.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
@banana: Ouch...I adore the heck out of my ILs, but that's overboard.
We probably see mine 2-3 times a month. They come up here and we go out to dinner, or we drive down and spend an afternoon and evening with them. And sometimes my MIL comes up by herself and go have a "Girl-Date" which usually involves an art gallery/museum, lunch, and light shopping.
apricot / 498 posts
We see them about once a month. MIL has hinted that they would like us to come and spend a weekend with them but there's no way in hell.
You need to be upfront and straight with them re: how much time you have to give to them otherwise they will just run amok.
clementine / 994 posts
I was about to comment that I would have a hard time tolerating my inlaws that often, but then I realized that we see my parents/family two or three times a week and spend almost all day Sunday with them. My cousins were DH's friends before we started dating, so it never crossed my mind that we were seeing my family too often. Ooops!
pomegranate / 3716 posts
WOW, 3x a week would kill me!! We see them usually once a week and I thought THAT was enough. We used to just eat one meal with them over the weekend, but then gradually it developed into lunch every Saturday AND spending the afternoon with them. Last week I had to ask DH, when and how did this happen... what happened to just lunch??
Over the summer, I am usually coordinating weddings most Saturdays, so it works out that he goes to spend time with his family 
cherry / 149 posts
Too much for me. 
Maybe once a month, for three days and two nights. But they live a couple hours away and we don't have a LO yet, so it seems excessive.
bananas / 9227 posts
@banana: That would drive me absolutely nuts!
I see them roughly every other week, sometimes less. Sometimes, I'd prefer to stay at home so DH visits by himself - that gives him, his bro, and his dad more bounding time.
Before we got engaged, we used to see them once a week, usually on a Saturday and it was an all day affair. There was no real activities involved, except for the occasional helping out with their gardening, eating lunch, eating dinner, dessert and a couple of coffee breaks in between. No TV at all. Plus most of it was in Swedish. Holy crap!
That would have continued all throughout our married life but a year like that was just enough! I wholeheartedly detest parents that can not understand that newlywed couples or couple in general need alone time!
As you can see, this is still a touchy topic for me - FIL not so long ago went on about some girl that kept their son away from "his family". Little does he know that I'm the one that usually reminds my husband to call and visit them. *rolls eyes*
OK, end of rant ;P
pomegranate / 3225 posts
Wow, that is so much. I don't even see my family that much and they live nearby. I don't see my In laws (we live 6 hours apart) except for twice a year. It makes me sad for my DH but he doesn't seem to mind.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
@banana I know how you feel... our ILs (and my parents) only live 15 miles away from us... so there was a time when they would be over ALL.THE.TIME.
FIL also has a spare key to our house for emergencies (he's retired and checks on the house when we cant get home for alarm etc.) which was also abused last summer, when they would come over unannounced.... :O.
DH put a stop to it right away... thankfully.
I love them to death, but def had to set boundaries.
We usually see them a few times a month for dinner and playing cards (2-3x) and speak to them pretty regularly via phone...
kiwi / 729 posts
we have three sets of grandparents so husband, baby, and I are usually seeing at least one of them at least once a week. To us it's a lot, to them, it's not enough. Go figure.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
wow that is a lot of time to spend with your MIL, the Saturday would make me upset too!
We see ours usually once or twice every two weeks. I'm guessing that will increase to at least once a week once we have our baby. I enjoy my in laws company so this doesn't bother me at all!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
They live out of state so we see them every couple of months. They are here right now actually.
GOLD / eggplant / 11517 posts
My in-laws live 4 hours away from us by car, so we don't see them that often. Maybe once every couple of months. We get a long great, so I wish it was more often than that.
pomegranate / 3398 posts
We see them multiple times a week.
DH has a disability and isn't able to drive so they assist with getting he and our DD's to and from school while I am at work.
I don't mind spending time with them. We live 10min apart.
nectarine / 2797 posts
Every few months right now. MIL lives about 3.5 hours away so it's generally an entire weekend trip for whoever is traveling, and we both have dogs who can't be around one another, so we have to set up boarding for one of them before we get together.
She is retiring this summer and hopes to move to about two hours away, which would make shorter trips much more doable, and I'm guessing we'd see her every 4 to 6 weeks if that happened.. We'll see if she's able to sell her house and move though, the market may not cooperate with that plan.
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