Hellobee Boards

@StrawberryBee: @delight: @Bookish: my mum is (I believe) undiagnosed bipolar in an extreme. My sister is diagnosed... anyhow, definitely been rough and mum has been married 4 times. Was and is a nightmare.

I was 8 when the divorce papers were signed and I have a very vivid memory of that night. But my parents had drama for a few years before then.

19 I think when I finally said I wasn't coming home any more if he was there. Mom stood up for herself and filed. It should've happened much earlier, but she thought she was staying for the kids until the kids basically said "GTFO, this is ridiculous."

As an attorney, we usually see that divorces are harder on adolescent/adult children than they are on young kids. The little ones can generally adapt a new normal relatively quickly, while the older children feel more invested into their parents' own relationships and see that togetherness as part of their individual identity.

I was 12 when my dad walked out on us. I was 15 when her divorce finally came through - my mum had to wait until he had been gone for more than 2 years to prove desertion.

12. It was kinda hard at the time, but now I'm so glad that they divorced. I know that seems like a horrible thing to say, but they really weren't right for each other. They divorced, my mom went to school, got her accounting diploma, travels the world with her boyfriend. My dad has his motor home, does his camping thing with his fiancé. Everybody is much happier and better off this way.

I was five.

My husband's parents, who had a seemingly solid marriage for 45 years, just split this year. DH is 31.

Maybe 2? I don't remember. I do remember my mom marrying my stepdad when I was 3 though. He's been my "real dad" my whole life.

@delight: Glad to hear you still have a good relationship with your dad :).

@Greentea: @Bookish: @delight: interesting that we all were/are dealing with a bipolar parent. For me, my father and I disconnected long before their divorce was finalized. He could never remember how old I was, or when my birthday was, and en route to my college graduation he didn't realize what school we were headed to (apparently he had been telling everyone for years that I went to a different university).

The final blow came when he disowned my brother, kicked me out of the house (for not telling him whether or not my mother was going to divorce him; this was apparently the end result of an argument he had with me while I wasn't there), and let the air out of my tire so that I couldn't leave. He couldn't do much else to my car because it was completely in my name, bought with my money. My brother made the mistake of accepting my father's offer of a car, so dad pulled the wires apart out of his. It was never quite right after that, and a couple of years later it ended up overheating and catching fire on the side of the road.

After the initial disowning/exodus from the house he spent the next two months trying to follow my mother and I home from work to find out where we were living. Once he nearly drove us off the road.

There are times when I feel bad for him, because I don't think he remembers any of it, but it's not worth risking myself, DH, or LO. He will never get to know his granddaughter. He's never met my husband.

I was 7 or 8 when they separated and 9ish when the divorce was finalized. My mom got really drunk on wine and threw her wedding ring in a lake. Me and my sister wanted them to get back together, but we found out when we were older that he had cheated on her and was verbally abusive and lied to her all the time.

She remarried when I was 13, and I consider my stepdad to be my real other parent. My dad has been in several relationships since, including one marriage to a woman in a different country and subsequent hasty divorce. None of us are speaking to him right now/for the foreseeable future.