I am posting under an anonymous name, because I am just too embarrassed to post under my regular handle. I am hoping that HB has some advice for how to handle this delicate situation. Thanks in advance, and sorry for the novel!

I feel like DH doesn't take care of himself anymore, and because I love and care about him, I am reminding him to do simple tasks that I feel I shouldn't have to tell a man in his 30s to do. I don't want to treat him like a child, but I feel like if I don't remind him he just won't do these things.

To be more precise, he rarely will brush his teeth and never flosses. His dentist has already gotten on his case about his receding gumline. He also doesn't use shampoo very often, only after a workout, which hasn't been much lately. His breath is getting bad, and I have noticed that his hair has looked greasy on occasion.

I talked to him about both of these things only a couple of days ago. It was an extremely uncomfortable conversation for us both. He was embarrassed, and I didn't want to come across as a nag. I want him to demonstrate good, healthy lifestyle choices not only for himself, but also for our son. To make matters worse, I think maybe his parents didn't enforce these points with him. His mother just had her from teeth removed and replaced with a plate, due to poor gums. Anyway, tonight he didn't brush his teeth before going to bed, and I didn't remind him, because I was in the next room putting DS to bed. I almost feel like waking him up to tell him to go wash up, like I would with a kid!

The last point, that we have dealt with a bit, is his habit of changing into ratty shorts and old t-shirts when he comes home from work. They are old workout gear that often have pit stains and smells baked into them. The shorts especially are bad, since he will remove his underwear when he puts them on for comfort, so they get stinky/sweaty fast just hanging around the house. When I was pregnant, I would ask him to change/wash them frequently, as my nose was so sensitive. Now that I'm not, it's not quite as bad. He still does it, just washes them more, maybe every couple of days.

How do I get him to change his habits without coming across as a nag? These things really affect how attractive I am finding him lately, and I just can't get past them. I feel he is putting me in a bad position by having to act as the adult in the relationship and this makes me feel resentful. I really don't know how this happened, as he wasn't like this while we were dating or the first few years we were married. Someone please help me save our marriage!