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@Baby Boy Mom: I have no idea...this was the first time we've met her. I'll have to do some research on my own because I've never heard that before.
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Ugh, I just explained this whole situation to my mom, hoping to get some support, and she was just like "send more milk" and when I told her I was struggling to pump what I was sending already, she was all "supplement with formula." UGH!
I just wish SOMEONE would support me. Or am I being a total ass-hat and Xander really IS starving to death and needs more milk????
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@Adira: aw honey - he's not starving! I just know he isn't. Babies are so resilient, he really would reverse cycle if he needed more milk. He'd be all over you, cluster nursing when you got home if he was that hungry. Maybe a pediatrician visit or just getting him weighed will make you feel better?
For what it's worth, my mom is exactly the same way. Anytime I express a worry or concern about breastfeeding, she suggests formula. I want to say "Stop trying to make formula happen, mom! It's not going to happen!" I asked her once if she didn't support me exclusively breastfeeding, and she was shocked. She said she only suggests formula because she wants things to be easier for me. So, I guess it's coming from a good place? But still not helpful.
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@mewtill: I think my mom is the same way! I think she just wants to be supportive, but doesn't realize how important breastfeeding has become to me! Especially because at six weeks, I was ready to QUIT and I talked to her about it and she was sooooo supportive of me quitting if I wanted to. But now I want to EBF as long as possible, but I don't think she knows how strongly I feel about it, so she's just trying to offer suggestions to help, but I find them hurtful now. Oh well.
And thanks!!! I really do feel the same - if he was hungry he'd nurse more at home and he DOESN'T!!! But maybe I should talk to my pediatrician and hopefully she can back me up and then I can say to Hubs "I talked to our doctor and she said he's fine so stop bugging me." hahaha
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@Adira: Mama! I know this is tough! Honestly - 5 months is the hardest time in the whoe nursing/pumping relationship because you are maxed out on how much you can pump and they are starting to be ready for solids.
I don't think you need to do a bottle trial at home because nursing is so vastly different. My LO has always been on the higher level of consumption and we have had to tweak when he gets his bottles and how much.
15oz a day is totally FINE and you shouldn't worry about not sending enough! I would maybe split it up into more feedings and see how he does. We were doing (4) 4 oz bottles at that age. Then for awhile he was getting a larger bottle in the morning with 3 smaller bottles. I think you're OK with the ounces and you jsut need to think about delivery.
Maybe he does want a little more attention and 4 feedings would give him that.
At 13mo we are now doing (2) 5oz bottles a day - it does get easier I promise!
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@Adira: This has been an issue for how long? A week? My guy quit drinking milk for maybe 2 weeks and then went back to normal. Ask your husband to give it another week before you change anything - maybe X will get over whatever hump this is on his own. I always try to give breastfeeding issues at least a week-10 days to resolve before I freak.
ETA: *try. I seriously miss the mark most times though
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@littlebittyhouse: Thanks for your advice! I'll definitely think about splitting up the bottles differently. My only concern is that the daycare has a set schedule that they USUALLY feed the babies every 3 hours. Even though they've told me (multiple times now) that he's getting hungry earlier and I've told them to just feed him whenever, they are STILL feeding him every 3 hours. I'm worried that even if I give 4 4oz bottles and tell them to feed him sooner, they won't, and then he'll only get 12oz for the day!
@mewtill: Honestly, I have no idea how long it's been an issue. It was brought to my attention two weeks ago when the usual daycare teacher went on vacation. One of her subs told me Xander was getting hungry earlier and asked if they could feed him sooner. I basically said go for it, but then for the rest of the week, they continued to just feed him every 3 hours. I thought maybe it was just that one day... So then the next week (last week), the usual daycare teacher returned from vacation. I told her about what the other teacher had said, and she confirmed it! She said she also noticed that Xander was getting hungry earlier and suggested either feeding him more throughout the day or sending more ounces per bottle. I AGAIN told her to feed him whenever she thought he was hungry, but AGAIN, all that week, he was continued to be fed just every three hours.
So now I have noooooooooo idea what's going on. Is he really hungry like they said? If so, why aren't they feeding him? Was it only those two days that I happened to talk to them that he seemed hungry? Both were Mondays and I had sent frozen milk instead of fresh - maybe that's the culprit? The frozen milk would've been 2 months old (roughly) and probably not as fatty as his current milk. Maybe that's why he was hungry. Maybe the rest of the week he was fine. But I don't really know!
And my husband's opinion that Xander needs more BM is entirely based on his weight percentile and has nothing to do with what the daycare people are telling me. He doesn't even talk to the daycare people, so I'm not even sure he's aware they've told me that Xander's hungry early!
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@Adira: You will probably hate my advice. I think you should stop worrying about it. Your son is giving you no cues and your daycare is choosing not to deal with the problem (evidenced by your last post where they aren't feeding on demand and aren't really working with you or him). This is their problem NOT yours. Your baby is fine, he isn't hungry (I had a hungry baby and he was bees to honey on me. We nursed 3 -5 times a night). Tell everyone to back off or come up with a solution on their own that doesn't include more breast milk or formula. You aren't away from him long enough to starve him. Seriously, some babies don't eat any BM all day at daycare and reverse cycle at night.
This thread just makes me so angry for you. We as mothers shouldn't have to sit and worry about all of this. We are damned if we do and damned if we don't. Obviously, no one has the answers because there is so much conflicting evidence and advice (on this thread and others). So, do what your instincts are telling you (which from what I can tell is that he isn't hungry).
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@Adira: Put on your mommy pants and tell them to feed him when he's hungry. With infants, the daycare really has no business telling you they'll only feed him every three hours. I would go in and reiterate that you want him fed when he shows signs of hunger and ask them specifically why they keep telling you that he's hungry early, but then they don't feed him... even after you've given them permission to. Do you need to fill out an info sheet for him every so often? We had to fill one out that specified his feeding/sleeping schedule every 30 days. This helped keep everyone current on the preferred care. I like the suggestion that you send smaller bottles to be fed more frequently.
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@Adira: okay, yeah, ignore the daycare people. If they're doing every 3 hours, he must be fine. As for your husband, percentiles change all the time & breastfed babies slow their growth rate as they get older. Plus, it's only saying how many kids are larger/smaller - it's not a score
I hope you can put your mind at ease and get back to enjoying breastfeeding -
@brownie: THANK YOU!!!! I think reading what you wrote was exactly what I needed! Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
@kiddosc: Yeah, my daycare just feeds on a schedule, though they told me that they'll feed earlier than the 3 hours if the baby is hungry. And they USED to do that. So... I'm not really sure what happened! Perhaps he's really not all that hungry? Or maybe with so many babies, they just stick to the schedule? I don't know. I do know that he's the only breastfed baby, so I think they get confused on what to do with him. And no, we don't have to fill out an infant sheet on him. That would be nice though - that's cool your daycare does that.
@mewtill: You're right! He MUST be fine! He's always totally happy when I pick him up in the evening, so it's not like he's just crying all day starving or anything. And they fill out an activity sheet on him and everyday they say he's happy, smiley, and playful. So he's gotta be fine, right?
And I completely agree about the percentiles! I just wish my husband would understand them better! I've EXPLAINED to him that a lower percentile doesn't mean he's hungry and that the pediatrician said it was TOTALLY NORMAL for him to decrease in growth now that he's sleeping through the night and that she wasn't concerned so I didn't understand why he was. He just kept saying "we should try six ounces - maybe he wants more - you don't know unless you try." And I'm like "But WHY do you even want to try it???" Ugh!
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