Hellobee Boards

We are sort of having this problem right now. DS plays too rough with his 9 month old sister sometimes. I have to tell him that we need to teach her how to be gentle so if we play gently, she will learn. I wish I could give you more advice. Three really is SO difficult! We do have a reward chart with things he should do (play nicely with sister, clean up toys, behave in church, etc) and he gets an X if he doesn't do one of his tasks. So, three X's means he loses something or other. Typically a toy or something related to what caused the problem. When I draw that X, I can tell that it bothers him. I *think* he is catching on because he just started telling his sister how to be gentle or he will tell her when she isn't being very nice haha. It helps that he has a role, to be her teacher.

We've been battling the same behavior as well. We're actually working with his teacher on his behavior. He's been acting up at school (not with his main teacher - but with his art and PE teacher) lately as well.
Lately, He's been really responding to being praised for good behavior. When I pick him up, his teacher will tell me how well (or not well) behaved he was that day. He loves it when he hears her tell me that he was well behaved. And now, we reverse it at home and say that we'll tell his teacher that he's well behaved because he ate his dinner well or what not. He's eating it all up and is really tryin to demonstrate his good side - at times.
Also, it turns out that his sister is not a pushover. She'll shove him back or find opportunities later on to return a jab. And he's much more bothered by it than she is when he shoves her. So that's when we explain how he makes her feel the same way when he is not kind to her.
3 has been the most troubling age by far!

@Mrs. Superhero: completely agree. It's important to teach them why they shouldn't do something versus just having them obeying. We've also been helping him identify all the different emotions he may be feeling. That's been really helpful as well. His teacher made these simple faces of emotions on a stick - kind of like emoticons on popsicle sticks. And whenever the kids are having a moment, she has them pick out how they're feeling. He's at a point now where he can tell us whether he's feeling happy, sad, angry, etc. So, I make him tell me how he's feeling whenever he acts up with his sister. So when he tells me he's angry and doesn't like her. I tell her that it's okay not to like her at the moment and he should just keep his distance from her. Usually, in 10 minutes, he'll calm down and come back to tell me he's happy and likes his sister again.