Hellobee Boards

I voted a 7, but it's probably somewhere between a 7 and 8. We're struggling through infertility, and it's really taking is toll this week. Overall, we've been really great about being communicative, open and supportive, but sometimes it's just hard and we can unfairly take it out on each other. I'm hoping it's easier once we have a child, but I'm sure it will be hard in a different way.

I voted nine. But our LO is 2.5. There were definitely some lower points when she was smaller and more needy. We are about to have number 2 in a few months so I'm sure we'll have a few more bumps along the way. But no matter what we always know how much we love each other, and that we have each other's back always.

I voted 9. I'm still on maternity leave so it's pretty easy for us to manage everything through teamwork. Working out very well so far and we both get the downtime we need.

9. I think if we ever got alone time out of the house it would be 10!

I voted 10 but currently pregnant with LO1, so I have a feeling life is about to get a bit tougher for me. I can see what @Mae: said becoming my reality. We'll LOVE our kid and be soooo thankful but we are not the biggest baby people, but there is also no one I'd rather do this with, so even if we have some struggles, I think we'll pull through and eventually return to 8-10... Hopefully.

I feel like we're in a really good place now, I voted a 9. We definitely have our ups and downs and certain things are hot button issues for us. But we're doing really good right now. We're lucky that DS sleeps all night (12 hours) with no wake-ups. We get a decent amount of adult time after DS goes to sleep at 8, and we try to balance duties so no one person feels overwhelmed.

I voted 7. I would have said 8-9, but since I got pregnant things have definitely been rougher. Now of course we are both extremely excited about DS to come, but I am extra moody and tired lately and DW is trying to be patient but a little sick of it I think. Plus we argue over ridiculous things now, like what color chair to get for the nursery. And, we can't go out to drinks anymore (well we could but it wouldn't bt much fun for me!) which we used to do REGULARLY to get some "date" time and to decompress from work. We both have high stress jobs.

ETA: This sounds really depressing. Haha! It's not bad between us, it's just not the same as it was before I got pregnant. And I am sure having a newborn will be even more challenging!!

@Greentea: It's good to keep ourselves in check. We're constantly apologizing. "Hey I got overwhelmed with all of this sh*t. Sorry I snapped at you, I really appreciate everything you do to help". It doesn't stop the little bickering moments, but it helps us to remember that he is feeling just as overwhelmed and stressed as I am and we're going through it together.
I feel like as a team, we're great and our marriage is strong, but the happiness as a couple is a little low right now. We both know not to take it personally or to heart. Being a parent is rough.

Would have to say 8 because I am such a grump in pregnancy right now but DH has been a champ about it. Things are really good and I would never say "10" because I feel like it's asking for trouble.

I am glad that this question was posted and thanks all for being so honest. We are having a low time in our marriage. DD is 1, things are better than newborn age when we argued on everything but man I wish somebody should have told me this parenting thing was going to be this hard.

I said 9. Room for improvement but things are good. The first year of DS's life I would have said 5. Hardest year of our 13 years together for sure. It gets better!

9! We're in a really good place! Ds is 2.5, ds2 is on his way in <8 weeks! Dh started a new job/schedule last Fall and we're def in our groove now with work and life balance! We just had a babymoon a few wks ago and it was nice to getaway just us. He's been super supportive because he feels like he hasn't been around as much to help w ds or with this second pregnancy! I only say a 9 because I could def up my game in the bedroom but I'm 32 weeks pregnant and just tired most nights!

@2littlepumpkins: Honestly, I think 7 is a pretty good, solid number. We're in a particularly great place right now, so I rated us higher, but it definitely fluctuates. 8 is probably more honest, but again, particularly great place.

I said 9. This past year has been hard with family deaths and infertility and 2 miscarriages, but tough seems to draw us closer together. I can't imagine a better match for me. But we havent been very intimate because I'm 24/7 mornig sick with my 2nd baby right now. He's awesome about it though and I love him so much!

I voted 9. It's great! But it's true, having DS hit us like a ton of bricks. It wasn't really so much the adjustment to having a kid, it was more the lack of a support system and money. When my leave ran out, we couldn't leave a three month old with strangers, so we had to make some insane decisions and we were both running on fumes for the first year. Plus DH had some very stressful stuff going on at work for a year, and at one point we were sure he was getting fired. Now his work thing has simmered down, and the kid is in day care. Which isn't all roses either, but at least we're usually able to eat and sleep enough that we can function. And the kid is two and a half, so he's totally a handful but it's much easier in many ways.

But now we're going to do the whole thing all over. I'm sure it'll be really hard for a while again! I'm really hoping my boss will at last give me a longer leave so I can focus on the family for a little while longer, and not worry about work.

I voted 5, which is a huge improvement on where we were at last year so it's actually really positive.

Having a child - particularly one who doesn't like to sleep - has put so much pressure on our relationship. Our lives are like a conveyor belt of work, Elliott, work, Elliott - with a tiny bit of broken sleep in between. We are a great team but I don't feel like we're in any kind of romantic relationship at all. Our sex life is virtually non existent and I know this is a huge problem for DH but I just can't. I don't have anything left to give by the end of the day and the slightest bit of bed-creaking wakes E up in the next room. I am NOT willing to risk that. But he really, really wants to..... I don't even relax into cuddles or reciprocate kisses any more because if he senses the slightest bit of affection he starts grabbing me and I have to reject him. I just.... can't. This is what I need to work on because there's only so much rejection he will be able to take; if I resolved this, I know the rest would fall into place really easily and we'd be an 8 or 9.

I voted 7 but we're probably about a 5.

IF and pregnancy has been hard, and we're sleeping in separate rooms right now. Not because of arguments...when I first got pregnant DH was super sick for about 6 weeks, then he went on shift work and I didn't want to disturb him, now I'm still here because my sensitive nose can't stand the smell of his deodorant.

I hope it gets better soon.