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I'll be honest and say I voted a 4.
I love my husband, but he is not good at all in times of stress. I am 31 weeks with DS2, and he has not been a great help this time around at all, and he's unemployed right now (for like the 80th time). So, I'm stretched really thin, doing most of the housework, all of the finances/working, and still the "default parent", while being super pregnant. It's not fun to bear all the responsibility.
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@ValentineMommy: I'm sorry to hear that. We have had times like that! DH is not good under stress either. I bet that is really hard on him not to be employed, it can really do a number on everybody.
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@travellingbee: I totally agree with your assessment. I voted 10, but my idea of a 10 is not that far fetched... We are happy, laugh together, do a good job of communicating, and just genuinely like to be together during the good times and the hard times. We go through rough times and bicker, but that generally blows over quickly. I am in some moments it's a 4, and in other moments it's a 10, but overall a 10, but that's easier to say when expectations are pretty basic.
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I said 7 and DH said 9, so I voted 8! Things are pretty good overall, but it's been a stressful year (good things, but still stressful) and lately we've been sniping a lot. We're working on it, though!
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@SweetiePie: it really does get better-- hang in there
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@erinpye: I know this is pretty old at this point, but I wanted to come back and tell you, since you were such an inspiration to me, that we are FINALLY back up to an 8/9. When I first voted our son was 9-ish months and things were just starting to improve a little. Now at 18 months into this parenting thing, we are "us" again. We love being together, alone or as a family. We rarely fight and when we do its not a knock down drag out battle to the death like it was before. It's just normal married bickering.
We laugh and hug as much as we did before. We find time to hang out together instead of separate rooms. He helps out way more. And I have learned what my flaws are and I'm really working on them.
I'm still not sure if I had PPD in the first year - I never got a true diagnosis (actually got conflicting ones from two therapists). But now I know that if I feel some of what I felt the first time (if we have another) it's best to talk to someone right away - that way if it is PPD I can get the help I need and hopefully avoid the whole disaster that was our first year of parenting.
Anyway, just felt really strongly about giving an update in case anyone else is struggling with parenting/marriage. It can get better! -
@SweetiePie: I am SO happy to hear this! And so very touched you replied to let me, and everyone who might be struggling like we both have, know, that it does get better. Huge hugs, my friend!
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