I just need to vent.

I have GD, and my numbers have been pretty good since I started testing three weeks ago. The last few days, though, my numbers seem to be going up steadily no matter what I do. My fastings used to be in the 70s and 80s; they've been consistently in the 90s for the past few days. My readings one-hour post meal were once in the low 100s or 110s; the past few days they're all in the high 120s or 130s -- 130s used to be rare, like if I'd eat pizza without knowing it would spike me, or after Thanksgiving dinner. Every once in a while I would have numbers like this, but now it's every day, and every day a little higher.

The doctor wants my numbers below 100 for fasting and below 140 post-meal, so I know I'm still in range, but I still have 7 weeks of the pregnancy to go, so I feel like it's just a short matter of time before I'm too high and have to start taking insulin. I'm terrified that means the baby will be too big, I'll need to be induced, I'll need a c-section, the baby will have health problems, etc. I'm doing everything I possibly can and even not having as many carbs as recommended with meals, and I'm still higher than normal. I had cottage cheese and a piece of whole wheat toast with peanut butter for breakfast -- same breakfast I've had every day for two weeks -- and I was 137 an hour later. Used to be like 110.

Anyway, I just wanted to bitch. I feel so frustrated because it seems like everybody around me has happy normal pregnancies, and I'm the 15% of the 15% of the 15% who will end up needing insulin to control my blood sugar in pregnancy. I should be happy that the baby is growing well so far, they'll monitor me, he's moving, etc. And instead all I can focus on is my damn blood sugar numbers. This is driving me absolutely nuts. Plus it's the holidays and my shower is tomorrow and I can't even eat any fun food because all I can have is effing cheese and carrot sticks ever anytime.

Sorry, thanks for letting me vent.