This weekend was a whirl wind of events and emotions! It started when we went to see my grandpa in the nursing home. He was placed on hospice a few weeks ago with the idea that it would be months yet before he would die.

On the way there we received a phone call saying that he wasn't doing very well and that they were calling in the hospice nurse & requesting an order for ambien. When we arrived he was very agitated, shaking, and had fluid in his lungs again. After he received his medication he had calmed down and was able to rest. We left knowing that this could be the beginning of the end. We were thinking he might last 2-3 weeks yet.

The HS and I met up with his family at the cabin, we were suppose to spend the weekend there. It is 3 hrs away from my grandpa. On the way there I told HS I didn't want to drink much, just encase. It's a good thing that I only had 2 beers and crashed early because we got the phone call at 230 am that he was declining and to head out.

When we arrived he had stabilized and was able to rest easy. The hospice nurse said that he was really on the fence right now and that it could go either way. We went back to my mom's about 30 min away to sleep and eat.

On our way back to the nursing home we received another call telling us he was struggling again. The hospice nurse was called in again and said that he hadn't started the "end stage" yet, as in no color changes and his breathing was rapid but regular. She said to prepare for sometime this week, sooner rather than later. At this point he was pretty much non responsive.

I was off making phone calls most of this time telling family and calling in our pastor for last communion. I finally had to kick out my family so that I could have some alone time with my grandfather. I am so glad that I did. I told him how much I enjoyed growing up with him, how much it ment to me that he showed me how to fix our lawn mower, and how much I enjoyed our vacations to Wyoming...And he smiled!

I was with my grandma at the very end when she died and refused to leave her side when the family left. I was 16 at the time. I told her that it was okay to go home, to not be afraid that we would take care of grandpa.

After some time reminiscing about the good old days I took my grandpas hand and told him this, "PaPa, I'm going to tell you the same thing I told grandma. It's okay to go home, don't be afraid, everything will be taken care of just the way you wanted it to be. PaPa, don't be afraid. Grandma is waiting for you, it's okay to go home." He was agitated at first and then a peace came over him. I read the 23 psalms told him I loved him a thousand times over and left.

HS & I headed home with the plans for me to see him first thing in the morning. I know how "cheesy" this sounds but when driving home this evening before he had past I saw the most beautiful sun set. It was as if the heavens opened through the most beautiful clouds and sun rays shining through. I just knew that Grandma was standing by the gates of heaven waiting for her husband to come home.

Just as we pulled into the drive way we got the phone call that he was changing colors and to come back. We live 2 hours away so we gather our stuff together and headed out. Just as we hit the highway my husband looks at his phone & grabs my and says PULL OVER. I thought he was going to say sorry for being an ass about possibly missing work tomorrow. Instead he turns to me and says, "I'm sorry honey, he's gone."

I had the most amazing experience today, I got to say good bye to the greatest man in my life, my PaPa.