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I think it all depends on how your DH really feels about it. Is it important to him or is it just that it's tradition and he doesn't want to ruffle feathers? You're the parents and you should both love your child's full name! I think traditions are nice when they are truly meaningful to those who carry them on, but when they become more of a burden, it's time to let them go.
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Thanks, everyone, for your responses. DH and I are planning a nice evening in tomorrow and will be going through our name choices. I'm definitely in a calmer state of mind now after reading your thoughts on the matter.
@Pawprints: @Cait: you're probably right in that I've been borrowing trouble over worrying about how DH feels over this without actually hearing how strongly he feels about it.
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@Meganmp: there are some John/Jacks in our family, too. If we went with Peter as his first name, it would be the 7th in a row, and including DH, and there would be 5(!) Peters in currently on both sides of the family. It's more than a little confusing, especially with big families. Don't worry, I didn't find your comment snarky!
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@Mrs. RV: @Eko: that's a thought, but we'd still have the mixup with several people legally having the same name, and there being mixups. I know this has annoyed DH in the past.
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@MrsMcCarthy: @Erinpye: nice thought, but I'm afraid that wouldn't appease the grandmother. I've actually suggested the same thing for other people who are in similar situations!
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@Astro Bee: Every man in my family & DH's family has "James" in their name. Seriously. I hated it. But, it was so important to him ... We decided it would be a middle name if we had a boy. We ended up having a girl, and after knowing now important it was, I offered it as a middle name for her.
I had to take my opinion away, see his side, and suggest her first name!! -
@Jruess: @Torchwood: Similar situation with Raymond as a mn, (I actually had wanted first name Will, but as soon as the idea of Billy Ray came up, it was eliminated) wasn't my first choice or even on my radar, but has grown on me significantly since I love the heck out of my three year old
It also is now so precious to me because it was so important to my husband (a dear great uncle's name). Same thing happened with my husband and our #2 middle name, I was adamant, he was ok with it- it's grown on him considerably and we have yet to actually use middle names with either kiddo other than just general questions about names and announcements.
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Is grandma religious? Saint Peter was originally named Simon...
Pierce is the Irish version if that's an option.
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My sister and her husband just went through this. By BIL is the 4th in his family (GAH, the 4th). His father goes by a nn for G. BIL goes by the A name (so the middle name). When they found out they were having a boy, they couldn't decide if thry wanted to keep the trtradition, go with another name completely, or find a way to honor the tradition without actually using the name. Ultimately, they named him GAH, the 5th, but they call him Quinn, as an homage to being the 5th (quin- being the traditional prefix for 5s, like quintuplets).
Long story short, is there a way you could do something like that? Otherwise, I'd say it's time to compromise and at least use it as a middle.
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I think that the tradition is really neat. I would probably go with it and just call DS by his middle name (even with the possible family name mix ups) but I think the least you could do is give him the middle name. It seems really selfish not to IMO. I mean, how often is a middle name used anyways.
Also, my dad is a Peter and my DS has Peter as his middle name to honor him.
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@littlebug: that's a really cool compromise!
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I'm totally with you on the name because I used to know a couple of awful Peters. BUT our friends call their son Pete and I think it is so cute for him. Hoping you guys can come up with something that makes you both happy.
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@AmandaB8: yes, grandma is very religious, and also very opinionated. So while she would understand the reference to Simon, I don't think anything less than Peter as a first name would satisfy her. Pierce is another nice name, though.
@Mrs. Jets: I am not against tradition or honouring our families. Earlier I stated that for years I've said how great it would be to use FIL's and my dad's middle name, which is Michael, and a long standing family name in both families, if we ever had a son. I just don't like the name Peter. Although, I see how my feelings on the name would certainly bother you. Just as you chose to name your child, I wish to have some say in naming mine. That's really what this comes back to.
@Littlebug: I like how your family managed this same issue. I love the name Quinn! Do you think that it might be difficult for him to explain as he gets older? That's why DH just takes the path of least resistance and goes by Peter at work. He got so sick of having to explain his very unique nn (it starts with Z) and why it's not part of his full name or even an initial. But at least Quinn is a logical nickname for the 5th. Does your husband's family use Roman numerals after their name?
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So I was talking about this with my husband, and apparently his family ran into the same issue. His dad was named "Anselm Robert" but always went by Robert. When the obsessed relative died, his mom filled out name change paperwork and his name has been Robert Anselm legally since he was 11.
A weird way to go about it, but it worked!
And thankfully, it didn't continue for DH's generation!
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@Astro Bee: Don't do it for grandma! Haha I'm sorry, I don't care how mean that makes me sound. It's one thing to compromise with your DH if it's meaningful to him, but it's not reasonable to expect someone to name their kid to appease someone else. Especially if you think you'll announce your son's name and she's still be cranky about it! She and her DH had their turn to name their babies whatever they liked, now it's your and your DH's turn - enjoy it.
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@Astro Bee: It's my sister's husband, and I'm not sure how they handle the numbers, to be honest. I guess it might be annoying for him to explain, but I don't think difficult. My sister's name was very unique growing up, and she constantly had to explain/pronounce/spell it, but she loves her name. And if he chooses to go by his real first or middle name as he gets older, he can! Though he'll always be Quinn to me.
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I'm totally biased because my LO's name is Peter, and it's a family name from my husband's side.
But regardless, I agree with many of the pp. If it's important to your husband, I think using it at a middle name would be a good compromise.
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How did the convo go?
I had to take my opinion away, see his side, and suggest her first name!! 
It also is now so precious to me because it was so important to my husband (a dear great uncle's name). 
But regardless, I agree with many of the pp. If it's important to your husband, I think using it at a middle name would be a good compromise.
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