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@Lindsayinny: Thinking of you today!!!!
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Well frer and wondfo are faintly positive this morning, but faintness is no friend of mine and I feel like it's not meant to be. I think I'm 11dpo today. You can tell me all you want darkness doesn't matter, but I strongly believe it matters for me personally, having been through four chemicals before. I'll hope for a darker test tomorrow but not getting hopes up.
I'm sorry if I'm being negative. It's all I have right now.
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@bhbee: I know your feeling, please know I'm praying for you and I hope today goes by fast!!
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@FaithFertility: thank you friend. I am so thankful that I have a place where I can vent a little.
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@Kelli_Deluxe: please stick around. Recent IF grads often like to hang out here until they feel ready to leave our little IF nest.
@lindsayinny: looking forward to your update!
@bhbee: with your history, I totally understand why you're so apprehensive. I'm praying that this one sticks.
Will you see your doctor?
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@Happygal: not yet ... We just moved to a high deductible plan which means we would be paying for everything. I'm not going to do that unless it looks promising, those big charges for tests would be insult to injury. I think if I get good tests through Wednesday I will try to get a beta on Thursday, but that's a big if.
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@bhbee: I hope your tests get darker! Thinking of you!
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@bhbee: I really hope they get darker for you and I understand your hesitation to get excited. Vent away. I'm hoping and praying for you.
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@bhbee: got it. That makes sense. Today is one of those days I wish I could just wave a wand and be there with you to help pass the time and give you a hug!
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never mind! Saw the update.
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@LindsayInNY: I hope your appt goes/went well!
@Kelli_Deluxe: looking forward to your update!
@bhbee: FX for a sticky one! Vent/wallow as much as you need on here, I will have hope & positive thoughts about your tests!
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@Kelli_Deluxe: Congrats!! I'm happy for you
@bhbee: *hugs* I'm thinking of you and hope that you get great results tomorrow
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So... the doctor called me infertile on Saturday. That's the first time I've actually been called that so it stung. I got into my car and cried and then I was off for most of the day.
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@bhbee: I pray that line gets darker for you
@alohaorchid: Hugs
That is such an ugly, harsh word. I wish I could come bring you a big bottle of wine@lindsayinny: Good luck today! Fx!
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Well here's this morning's test! I also took another cheapie and a digital, both positive. The doctor's office opens in 20min so I'll be calling to have bloodwork ordered. Results take a full day/into the next afternoon so I'm trying to relax and take it day by day. I started taking progesterone last night as a precaution!
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@alohaorchid: I'm sorry. That is a tough IF milestone. I'm glad that your doctor isn't giving you the "oh, you're young, don't worry," line though! I hope today is a better day for you.
@Kelli_Deluxe:
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I almost forgot to take my Lupron this morning! My meds are all lined up on the bathroom counter and it still didn't register. I wonder what would happen if I missed a day? I'm glad I'm not finding out.
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@Kelli_Deluxe: it's so exciting to see those two lines! FX that your beta is high.
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@mrstal: this is a late reply, but I just saw you asked about my husband's numbers from our IUI....that amount was post-wash. It's weird when they hold the vial up and read out the stats to you.
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@Happygal: oh boy, post wash is 49M?!? Wow, that makes me a little worried for my chances...but then I only need one or two sperm to get to my follicles! I hope your TWW is going better than mine! I'm starting to get anxious about the whole process. Funny how TTC & IF throws you for a loop!
@Leialou: I'm glad you don't have to find out what happens for missing meds!
@Kelli_Deluxe: that looks beautiful! I'll update the list when I get home tonight!
@alohaorchid: I'm sorry. I find crying to actually be pretty cathartic at times. Sending you big hugs & positive thoughts!
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@Happygal: That is a little weird, but kind of interesting, too. I have my FX for you!
@Kelli_Deluxe: Still looks great! Hoping for a nice number! Definitely relax! It's so much easier said than done, though... Thinking of you!
@bhbee: I'm going to play Devil's advocate...it's still so early! FX for this being "the one"!!!
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@Lindsayinny: @doxielove: @bluestriped bee: Hoping for good appointments/test results today!
@alohaorchid: Ugh. I'm so sorry! Whatever it's worth, *couples* are infertile...not always individuals, if that makes any sense at all. Did he at least make any helpful or constructive suggestions?
@lazypanda: Hoping for good things for you! I think I'm at approx. the same point in my TWW...but I think it's entirely possible that we missed the optimal time for BD...during an unmedicated cycle...so I'm not getting my hopes up...
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@FliegepilzHut: I went for something else and the medication that I was prescribed is listed as not safe for pregnancy, so the doctor said I should use birth control and then read something on my chart on the computer and said that since I'm infertile it shouldn't be an issue.
@lazypanda: @Happygal: @Kelli_Deluxe: Thanks ladies
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@alohaorchid: Hmmm... You might want to use barrier method then, just in case.
Has DH come around at all to having you see an RE?
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Thanks for all the well wishes! Well, my "slow down eggs" chanting was useless... They are big and juicy and ready to be released! IUI is tentatively scheduled for Wednesday morning, pending genetic results. I'm not too confident they'll be back though. So, if not, we'll be cancelling IUI and proceeding with timed BDing instead (maybe the Clomid will help anyways?!). I won't be able to do IUI again until July, at the earliest, which is a bit disappointing...
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@alohaorchid: Ugh. I hate that word. I just say we need fertility help. I never say infertile. I'm sorry
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@LindsayInNY: There's a girl in my FB group who is currently pregnant with twins from TI and clomid!! I hope you get those results though!! Come on IUI!
@FliegepilzHut: @lazypanda: @Leialou: @Happygal: Thank you!
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@FliegepilzHut: Still nothing. He won't even talk about it... I was upset Saturday (he was at work) and I told him what the doctor said and he was sweet about it, he said he was sorry that it was said to me and that I was upset. Then he said how it hurt when he was told that too and then he changed the subject completely. I mentioned something later on that night about a referral (for my own health, not even TTC related) and he completely ignored it. I seriously feel like just giving up, I've had enough!
@LindsayInNY: thanks, it was kind of surprising just how much it bothered me hearing it. Fx for you that you are able to go ahead with the IUI, or that Clomid alone is all you need for this cycle to be successful!
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@LindsayInNY: FX that your results come back!
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@LindsayInNY: Hurry up, results!!! I, too, know twins from TI + Clomid...
How many follicles did they think might be mature? Will you be triggering?@alohaorchid: I am so, so sorry. That hurts so much.
I say double down on the couples counselling idea. It really sucks to be trying to make life-altering decisions from a point of such inadequate communication and (?) desperation. I wish you both the absolute best, whatever you decide. -
@Kelli_Deluxe: I'm slightly disappointed but, at the same time, I asked about medicated TI initially before going to IUI so I guess it's still a good thing? And DH was game with that and didn't want to stop altogether? I'm also going with Cheri22 who gave me February... She was right my chemical cycle so maybe she is now too?!
@alohaorchid: It just makes it so "real." I hate that names need to be given to things sometimes... Maybe I'm just in denial. Either way, I prefer using "difficulty" to describe things!
@FliegepilzHut: I think there were 2 pretty ripe ones on the right ovary (that I could see myself) and smaller, non-ripe ones on the left ovary. I know the RE said they usually only like to have 2-3 mature? I have my trigger shot at home... If it can be saved in the fridge for a couple months, we might save it. If not, we'll use it. I don't want to waste the $50 I spent on it!
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@LindsayInNY: Sounds like a great plan! Wishing you well and
!!!
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@FliegepilzHut: thank you! I also think couples counselling is the best way for us to go... I know he wanted to see if we could deal with it outside of counselling but that's clearly not happening. I think I have been so patient with him with all of this, but I'm reaching a breaking point. Ugh. I'm having such a bad day today! I'm so glad I can come here and talk to people who understand!
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@alohaorchid: *hugs*
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@Happygal: DANG! Those are some amazing numbers for post-wash. I have everything crossed for you.
@alohaorchid: I'm sorry about the I word, it sucks to hear it the first time. I wish there was a better word or phrase.
@LindsayInNY: Sorry your eggs won't slow down, it sucks that the genetic test haven't come in yet. Maybe they will today?
@Kelli_Deluxe: So happy for you! Can't wait to hear what the betas are!
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Y'all I went to town this weekend on my reading room and I am in love with it. I still need the cushion I ordered for my chair and DH needs to hang it from the ceiling but I want to live in here now:
ETA: Sorry about the hugeness of the pictures!
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@MrsTal: I love it! I'm also a Cassandra Clare fan.
Did you like the City of Bones movie?
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@MrsTal: I love it! Can I come hang out? What a cozy, pretty space. Good work!
Trust me, my husband is very proud of those numbers, especially since he didn't get a very good sample. He has brought it up more than once. *eyeroll*
@lindsayinny: I'm glad your body responded so well to Clomid! In the beginning, my RE said she only wanted to go for 2, but that changed the further along we got with trying. I still think they have the serious "risks of multiples" talk if there are 3 or more. If your concerned about genetic issues, will you be preventing if the timing for everything doesn't work out?
@FliegepilzHut: it is weird! You go in the room and they put the sample in this little warming tray, which cracks me up. Then they read the name on the tube and make you verify all the information is correct. Everyone is looking at a vial of your partner's sperm, and you know where it's all about to go!
You know, I've given some thought to the word infertile, and I've come to embrace it. It does sound harsh, but I think this process is harsh at times, so I think it fits. It's hard when it first seems to be your reality--that's how I felt when I had to move on to injectables.
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@Leialou: Thank you! And yes I did! I wasn't sure that I would and of course I'm mad about some of the changes but overall I liked it! I hope they continue to make the second one.
@Happygal: Thank you! You can totally come hang out! And guys can get really puffed up about that stuff, can't they?
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@MrsTal: Thank you!! That room is amazing! It's Pinterest worthy
Has DH come around at all to having you see an RE?
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