Hellobee Boards

Hah this is fun! If I had stayed with and married my college boyfriend, I prob would've had kids earlier, maybe I would've had more kids? I'd still see myself living where I am to be close to my family.

If I never met my husband, who knows what I'd be doing.... Probably being a dog lady haha!

Traveling the world (mostly less developed countries) for work but probably not as settled with kids as I am now. Finding DH and adjusting my lifestyle to be with him was the biggest factor in my current trajectory.

This isn’t a choice, but my mother was very close to dying from complications from meningitis and I think a lot about how different my life would be had she died.

I would probably be working full time (I delayed my career to be a caregiver), maybe have a different number of children. And maybe living overseas (we were in Korea when she got sick).

Her being the sick also allowed me to find forgiveness for her mental instability and addiction. I came to terms with my whole childhood while caring for her! Idk if I would have that kind of closure had she died.

On the other hand I think my father would be in better health because he would only have to take care of himself. Plus I’d be way less worried about his retirement and finances (his medical debt is insane).

I feel like this ALL the time.

My highschool/college bf passed away when we were 23 and I honestly feel like there's a version of me that still lived that life we had planned and sometimes I feel like my current real life is the twilight zone, like I don't recognize myself!!

So one version of me married my bf when we were 24, we had 2 kids, we moved back to our home town and I stayed at home/got a part time job at the school so I could spend time with my family and kids. My bf became the gym teacher and coached all the boys sports at our school. We live in a small house with lots of land.

Then there's single, do what I want, travel, party, date relentlessly version who never got over loss and is very broken/sad under it all.

I used to think about this more when I was with my ex because we met by chance. If I went to the university of my choice instead of staying in my hometown, I would have never met my ex, and my life would've been very different.

I'd be more into fighting causes and graduated in some kind of -ology. I'd probably still be concerned about appearances and preoccupied with social functions. I never would have left California, except for vacations. My kids would go to private school and I'd be married to a guy within my culture or similar enough. I'd probably be one of those people that write inspirational messages on IG referring to my own life

Another version of myself would have been if I didn't contact my now DH before I left for Asia. I would have stayed in Asia, either single and exploring the world, or in a relationship, but with no kids. I don't think I'd be happy.

Alternate lives --never thought of this until now
1. Married to ex b.f. and divorced him or wealthy and insecure or possibly but least likely, happily married but really not bc I can't even imagine living life without DD
2. Never married and single. Probably lonely or anxious, but lots of adventures and time with friends. Possibly running/ owning my own side business and free lance writing/photography.
3. With DH and living somewhere else (commuter lifestyle, closer to extended family, more time on road--sounds most appealing to me as a possible future)
4. With DH and several kids (crazy tired or life revolving around kids<does anyway-but moreso>- lose myself- not for me)