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My cousin is and I'm not sure when he was told but it never was a secret and we all knew so I think he just gradually got more and more of a concept of it as he grew older.

My dad is adopted and I have no idea when he was told. I used to babysit for a little boy that was adopted, and his parents told him at a very young age (probably before he could even understand what it meant). When he was around 5 he told me that his (bio) mom gave him to his parents because they couldn't have kids and he was their special gift. I thought that was really sweet and I was always impressed with how open they were with him!

Lots of my family members are adopted. My older brother is and he was adopted at 9 years old. Obviously, he knew, so there was no big reveal.

I have 3 cousins, 2 Uncles, and 2 Aunts who are adopted (both sides of family). The only one I remember was a cousin who was told when she was 4. There was not a negative reaction, since we were all taught that adoption made you "special", since you were chosen.

I think growing up this way has made me a great bonus Mom. I treat him no differently than my bio-son, because I was raised that blood doesn't bind you together, love does.

My very best friend is adopted and knows she was adopted but none of her siblings do!
Basically, she was adopted by her parents at only a few months old. They let her know she was adopted at a very young age (not sure when, exactly).
Her parents kept trying to conceive a biological child and when my friend was 11, she got a baby sister! And then a brother.
Now her siblings are 13 & 12 and of course they think their sister is their blood sister. Right now I think they are too young to know...but the weird thing is...they NEVER plan on telling them. EVER.

My son is four. He was adopted at birth and we have never hid it from him. He has a special adoption book plus his normal baby book so we look at it and talk about it. He still doesn't really get it but he knows he wasn't in mommy's tummy

@mrbee: awww, thanks! he loves to talk about his story and about the big blue airplane that brought us home. i think it'll be interesting to see how he starts to process it as he gets older, because he just takes it at face value since he doesn't know anything else. in fact, the other day, he asked when i was adopted from korea!

@Mrs. Pen: well, her parents are first generation korean, and in korea it is *just* starting to become acceptable to adopt. korea has a long (sad) history of secret adoptions because it was considered shameful to adopt because there is a HUGE stress on bloodlines and family registers. it's all very sad.

I've always known. My mom had me draw pictures of my family and my other family. I don't think they ever had a big reveal, just made it part of my story all along.

@Mrs. Cowgirl: lol! That is so cute that he would think that! I am not my dad's biological daughter (he's my step-dad). And a few years ago, my little brother (who is his biological son) asked me if my biological dad was his step-dad! He figured...everyone has a real dad and a step-dad! Where was his step-dad?

I was adopted when I was 4 so I've always known. Actually, my dad and my biological dad were cousins (but my bio dad passed away when I was 1 yrs old) and the families are neighbors in Taiwan!

My little sister (11 yrs younger) didn't know we weren't biological sisters until she was 13 when I told her. But my parents didn't know that she knew until she was probably 18 or 19, and they were shocked she knew!

@mrbee: it was (and still is) a touchy subject for them, especially my mom.

We found out that my grandpa's sister adopted out a baby back in the 20's. My great aunt (the adopted baby) hadn't found out she was adopted until her parents passed away (she was in her 60's), and then it took her well over a decade to track down her bio mom's family. At that point, only my grandpa was left, so we're all the bio family she ever known. I think it used to be really taboo to discuss adoption (and still is in some places/cultures) but it's becoming more common to talk about from an early age.

My cousins are both adopted, and they've known since forever. They came home at 2 days old and 1 day old, and they have always had books, etc about it. Never a secret!

They each even have a picture of their birth mom in a small frame in their rooms. They've never met or spoken, and all letters go through the lawyer, but once my cousins turn 18 they can choose to meet their moms if they want.

My Great uncle is 80+ and he didn't find out until he was in his twenties and went to join the army, and they told him his original birth name. He was adopted by his aunt and uncle.

My grandmother was never told - she found the papers and never told her parents she knew.

@Mrs. Polish: we have that one! Lala loves Barley

My sister and I were adopted as well as 2 cousin (siblings). We were all told from the get-go, I don't remember a time when I didn't know it.

ETA: 2 of DH's siblings are also adopted & told right away. But they were Reserve babies so there's really no hiding that.

My aunt had a baby when she was 15, my grandma (her mom) raised the baby as if it were hers so my aunt wouldn't be judged. Everyone knew except the baby. He found out when he was 15 and hated everyone for it. His "sister" was actually his mom, his "mom" was his grandma, his nieces and nephews were his cousins, etc.

@Honeybee: I don't really know since I wasn't told until after she died, and even now if I bring it up people are all hush hush about it. It was so puzzling to me. Like why would it be this big secret? I mean, my family went so far as to let me give her health history as my own!