Hellobee Boards

Is there any way she might have misinterpreted it? Can you give us a hint about what it says? Maybe she's just naive...?

ETA: woah, yeah I guess that's pretty clear. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Maybe try not attacking the viewpoint directly (as she's entitled to her opinion) but suggest that she express it in a way that isn't potentially hurtful to so many people? AKA take it down from FB?

@jmarionsmith: I usually post a quote on my own wall in response - something anti-racist that lets my friends know where I stand. Like others have said, you can't change her. However, you can state how you feel and where you stand.

If someone posts something blatantly racists or something else that I find completely offensive, I delete and block them and then move on.

I think the difference between celebrating being African-American, Chinese-American, etc. vs celebrating being white, they're celebrating heritage (though probably notsomuch for BET). My family is white with Irish and German heritage and my parents loved introducing us to German and Irish foods and stuff, and we have been to Irish festivals, German festivals, etc. No one would ever accuse Irish festival organizers of being racist. I can understand not wanting to get into it on Facebook but if that showed up in my news feed I'd probably respond along those lines.

I'm glad you thought to ask this, because ignoring it can be construed as an endorsement of the racism. Even if you feel you can't change the person who posted this, you can make a statement that you don't agree with it.

WOW!

Please say something. I started writing something longer, but I can't bring myself to do it. By not saying something, you tacitly say it's okay. As a Black person with a fairly liberal group of friends of all races, I wouldn't come across that in my feed, so perhaps my opinion is a bit skewed.

@jmarionsmith: It is also debatable whether white people experience racism from other races too, which is the overall theme of this post of your friend's.

And whether or not it is still debatable, I still wouldn't be endorsing abortion by not replying to a comment on Facebook and starting drama.

@JMarionSmith: it sounds like you already have made up your mind that you should say something to her, so you should do that it or it will bother you. I think your mindset is in the right spot--you're not trying to change her mind, publicly disgrace her, or cause drama. But you want her to know to you don't agree.

If it was a good friend, I would ask if we could have a beer to discuss.

I will say that if we were friends and you didn't comment on a friend's racist wall post, I wouldn't think badly of you for it.

@jmarionsmith: The only point I was trying to make is that the post is inherently inflammatory and designed to evoke an irrationally aggressive emotional response (which is where the extra fire and further divide come in). I think these situations can only either be escalated or diffused . . . sort of along the lines of *don't find a fault, find a remedy* . . .

FWIW, I would never have posted this on my feed.

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.” Gandhi

@jmarionsmith: In the end, this person did post this to Facebook, which is like saying something in public, so you are welcome to respond if you want to.

@jmarionsmith: I'll write part of what I was going to write before. My husband is White and has told me about social and even work situations where people have said racist things. He didn't do or say anything about it. That hurt me. It hurt me not because he is married to me, a Black woman, but rather because he didn't take a stand against these statements and in effect validated them. In general, he's a conflict averse person (except when it comes to substantive work situations for some reason), so I know he probably would shy away from saying something. I told him that he didn't need to be combative, but pointing out certain things can go a long way, in my opinion.

I would first post something like, "This post is not ok." And then link to the article Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh.
I would probably also un-friend her regardless of the family connection.
Racism should never be tolerated, we should push back when we encounter racism.
It's important to understand that everyone has their own racial bias. We need to be aware of it and work to be better.

ETA: I'm offended by the whole post, not just the last paragraph. Someone saying that BET is allowed but not WET isn't in-your-face KKK racism, but that thought shows that people aren't aware of their racial bias. "WET" isn't necessary, because practically all TV is already "white entertainment television". I could go on and on about all the examples in the original post, but I won't.

@mrbee: I'll just delete my posts, I don't want to offend anyone or have what I said read out of context

I would just delete the FB friend.

@MrsTiz: If I came across something that was 100% racist, then I would say something. I don't think you have to immediately jump to saying, "you are a racist" and then deleting that person from your Facebook. It could just be a matter of starting a conversation about what was just said.

@mrbee: I don't FB is conducive to initiating/engaging in constructive *conversation*. This is only one of the many reasons why I wish FB would just implode!