and the bride says their gift is you coming to the wedding, do you still buy a gift? If you do buy a gift, do you spend less knowing you are spending thousands to attend the wedding?
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I would but it would be small - maybe a bottle of wine?
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Yes but I would spend far less than I typically do
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Yes, but it would be very small, maybe a GC to their favorite restaurant, or I would do a GC to the movies and put a cute little "don't forget about date nights" in the card.
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i'd get something small. and a card for sure. but that's because i like receiving cards as keepsakes.
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though as someone who had a destination wedding and i said the same to my guests....i really meant it. i did not in any way expect a gift. i would say about half the people got gifts anyway and they ranged from small to larger in monetary value.
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Something very small.
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@californiadreams: I would for sure get a card. I know how much cards mean to her. I know she will keep them all.
I was thinking a bigger shower gift (on top of paying for the shower) and then no wedding present. But it feels really weird to not get a gift.
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I would still get a gift, but something small, like others have said. If I brought it to the wedding itself (and its somewhere you/the bride&groom have to fly home from), I would get something very light like a gc.
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I voted yes and that I'd spend less on the gift too.
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Destination like we have to fly? Or like a tropical island? Either way I doubt we would give less as a gift...maybe a little less?
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I'd probably get something small and personal/sentimental rather than a typical cash/household item.
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I had a destination wedding and told people the same thing, and most just gave us cards with a $25 or $50 gift card inside - still way more generous than I was expecting, and easy to transport home!
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I'd get something small because I feel weird not gifting.
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@yoursilverlining: I would give it to them before.
@hilsy85: Yep, in Mexico. -
none of my destination wedding brides have ever said no gifts! So yes, I still got a gift, but probably just cash.
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I still gifted. They had a registry and they were very open about wanting cash!
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I would probably buy a small gift or bring something with sentimental meaning. I hate showing up empty handed.
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I still gift normally. The people we would go on a destination wedding for are close friends and family, so my gifting wouldn't change because of travel costs. DH and I think of it as part of our own lil getaway too!
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@mrsjyw: Ditto!
We think of it as our little vacay too. If we can't afford the trip and the gift, we just send the gift.
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If I were invited to the shower (and gave a gift there) I wouldn't give a gift at the wedding and I'd just bring a card.
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I would give something, but I am not sure what, specifically.
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When we went to our friends destination wedding, DH was a groomsman, and they had a reception back home. We just gave a gift at the reception back home. Nothing at the wedding itself.
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When I say no gift, I really mean it, so I'd honor their wishes too! But of course I'd give a card.
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@mrsjyw: @wheres_c: our 5 year anniversary is the day before they get married so it is a get away for us. We planned on going back to where we honeymooned, but Mexico instead now.
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We had a destination wedding and I did not expect any gifts what so ever. Not only were we asking people to fly, stay at hotel, etc., which is expensive, but I also didn't want to take a bunch of gifts home or on honeymoon!
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We are going to be in this situation this summer. It's not a destination wedding, per say, but it's going to be a boatload of money since we have to travel so far to get there. I'm still going to give a cash gift, but I haven't decided how much yet.
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@Smurfette: we give money for weddings regardless of who it is... I would figure that the only was we would go would be is if it is a place we want to visit, and we could enjoy it--if we couldn't do those things, then prob wouldn't attend the wedding but would still send a check!
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We are and we'll still gift towards their honeymoon, not extravagant, but we are also using the wedding as an excuse to take a vacation
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@hilsy85: I have no desire to go to Mexico but it is one of my closest friends and I am a bridesmaid. I know we will have a blast so it will be worth the money. I just can't decide how I feel about the gift or no gift!
@lemondrop: everyone is leaving their kids at home so it is going to be a blast to vaca with friends sans kids like we used to do. -
I still gift my normal amount since it's my choice to attend. It's a vacation for me anyway.
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I would still gift as normal.
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@Smurfette: Where did you honeymoon?
We cancelled our honeymoon since I was so sick. We're going to MIL's 4th wedding this year and considering that our belated honeymoon. -
@wheres_c: Aruba! Loved it
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@Smurfette: Where in Mexico? It's actually where we honeymooned and we loved it! As for the gift question, I always feel too weird not bringing a gift, so I would get something small or thoughtful. I turn to Etsy for those types of gifts!
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@2PeasinaPod: yeah that is what I am thinking something personal, which I know she likes that kind of stuff. I mean no one will bring a gift there, at least I hope so they don't have to figure out how to get home.
Playa Mujeres, 30 mins outside of Cancun. It is a new resort that opened in Feb. DH and I didn't love Cabo but I heard this side of Mexico is totally different. -
i would do something small like a gift card to a favorite restaurant for a date night out. i've done that for friends and they loved it.
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I think it depends on how close you are to the person. We went to a destination wedding and gave even more than we normally do because we felt close to the couple that was getting married. So it was the thousands of dollars + an even more expensive gift than normal since we like them a lot. My secondary love languange is gifts though so that might be the reason I do this. My main love languange is quailty time.
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No way. My best friend and I both had destination weddings two months apart, and we were each other's maid of honor. We both spent a lot of money on each other's weddings and didn't get each other gifts. I wouldn't get a gift for a destination wedding unless I could easily afford it.
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If they flat out said, "no gifts" or "your presence is gift enough," then no, I would not send an additional gift. Otherwise, I would give them $, but not as much as I would for a local wedding.
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