My best friend went through a nasty divorce last year. She found out her husband was cheating on her 2 years ago, but she decided to stay married to him for her kids. She wanted them to be around their daddy full-time (he was great with the kids). That is, until she found out he got his mistress pregnant. Then she just couldn't do it anymore and left the bastard.
If you found out your SO cheated on you, could you/would you stay married for the kids?
coconut / 8681 posts
I would love to be able to strongly be able to say definitely not but I'm not sure. I think it would depend on the circumstances (who it was, whether it was a one time or ongoing thing, how he was approaching it, how I found out, etc.).
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
As much as I would want to, i dont think i could. Trust is such a fragile thing..
grapefruit / 4400 posts
No way. It would be so obvious to the kids (especially later in life) that you stayed together for them-- they might see it as staying together BECAUSE of them. I wouldn't be able to trust hubs and I would be miserable, which means our family would be miserable.
It wouldn't be fair for yourself, your husband, or your kids (especially your kids!).
squash / 13764 posts
I wouldn't stay married JUST for the kids...that sounds like a miserable marriage.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I don't think I could. My parents should not be married. I don't think my parents cheated on each other but they are on two different wavelengths for so many years and we definitely saw the negativity. I still wish my mom was strong enough to leave my dad.
honeydew / 7589 posts
I don't think I would. It wouldn't be worth it to me, I'd be miserable all the time. I'd rather be a happy and independent mama. That said, I REALLY don't think my DH is the cheating type.
pomelo / 5178 posts
Regardless of the kids, it would take a lot for me to leave my husband. As long as he was willing to recommit to me and work on our relationship, I would probably stay.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
If the kids were the only thing keeping us together then no way ... no one ends up happy in those types of scenarios.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
I wouldn't do it for kids, I would do it because I want my marriage to work. I can not imagine leaving my husband.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
I wouldn't do it for the kids - but would consider staying in the marriage depending on the circumstances of the affair. On the one hand, I'd like to say I'd be able to get over it, but I kind of doubt that I could....on the other hand, I can't imagine divorcing, either since we have been together for 11 years.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
No way. That's not forgivable in my book. We'd be done.
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
Hell no. That's how much of a deal breaker it is for me.
grapefruit / 4817 posts
@miss-spunkin: I feel exactly the same. As long as he was still willing to work on the marriage, I'd stay.
pomegranate / 3980 posts
I would honestly want to try to make the marriage work as long as he did too because of my love for him and that is what God would want. Sure, I definitely want the kids to have their daddy around but I feel like a marriage based on that is bound to fail and is not fair to the kids.
eggplant / 11287 posts
HELL NO.
If he cheated, I am done.
Trust and respect are the foundations of a healthy marriage. When one cheats, both of those are lost.
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
@banana: I was speaking hypothetically!
We've definitely talked about this before though, and she knows where I stand. 
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I guess I do have to add that I will try to save the marriage by going to counseling. If that doesn't work and I'm still not happy then I would end the marriage. I don't want to give up on a marriage too early.
bananas / 9227 posts
Hell no! I can't live with cheating and believe that kids need a happy environment - there can't be much happiness going around after something like that (at least for me).
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I have no idea. He won't, so it's a non-issue.
grapefruit / 4049 posts
I feel the same way as those who said they'd try to work it out. The kids would be part of the motivation to work it out, but not all of it. I believe that marriage is not perfect, people make mistakes, and that forgiveness would be enormously difficult, but not impossible.
grapefruit / 4800 posts
I know my husband would stay if I did. It would be hard to give up everything we've tried to build together. I'm not sure if I could be so forgiving but I'd probably try to work through it, though the enormous time and craziness of trying to work through something like that would be nauseating, plus the thought of what happened.
persimmon / 1465 posts
I would try to make it work but wouldn't stay together if the kids were all that held us. That would be an awful marriage.
honeydew / 7968 posts
Don't think it'll ever come to that... But I would try to give my all to make it work...
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