Sometimes I feel like the fear that came from going through multiple miscarriages is still lingering over us! I worry even when the odds tell me that there's nothing to worry about... just because we were so sure the second pregnancy was sticky (we heard the heartbeat!) but it turned out not to be.
If you had a miscarriage, did you ever get over the fear of something going wrong?
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
Nope. It sucks because it was so hard to get excited about LO. Everyone would congratulate me and get so excited, but I was just scared. I was especially freaked out at my shower when I got all of her stuff. I just imagined myself having to send everything back to all of my friends and family. Thankfully LO came out safe and healthy, but I still make sure she's breathing every single night.
kiwi / 575 posts
Great question: At almost 22 weeks, I've passed my miscarriage milestone by many weeks but I'm still terrified that something will happen. I imagine that this is just the beginning of many years of worry 
hostess / eggplant / 11068 posts
I've never had a miscarriage but because I know so many healthy women who have, I was scared when I was pregnant. And if I'm blessed enough to have another baby, I think I will still be scared.
coconut / 8498 posts
I definitely still have a fear that something is wrong. Even though I know she's safer in my belly, I just can't wait until she's born because in my mind, my womb is not fit for babies.
grapefruit / 4817 posts
I haven't had a miscarriage, and I'm 36 weeks along, but I'm still terrified that something is going to go wrong. I see all the baby stuff in the house and constantly feel like I am jinxing myself. I swear it's getting worse as I get further along.
hostess / wonderful grape / 20803 posts
Nope, never. And, I only had one miscarriage, and it was early.
After my anatomy scan (at 19 w) I felt like I could relax a little. Then, I felt a little more reassured once he started moving. I was just starting to feel NOT nervous about the baby around 28 wks, but then I went into preterm labor at 30 wks and am now nervous all over again, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
honeydew / 7968 posts
i'm with @winniebee. only had 1 miscarriage but i think it'll always "haunt" me and i'll never look at pregnancy the same. i think now that i'm so close, i'm finally relaxed... well... now i'm just praying that my babies outlive me and i'm not somehow responsible for an fatal accident or something. i know, morbid.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
Like @bree72, I haven't had one but I was still constantly worried and hid my pregnancy a lot from people, just in case.
honeydew / 7968 posts
@Andrea: that's interesting. with my first one, never occurred to me that i would lose the baby. didn't really worry, even though people warned me about it.
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
@tequiero21: yeah, I think it was b/c my good friend just had 2 so that made me very worried.
pear / 1837 posts
Never got over it. Losing our first totally changed my perspective on pregnancy. With the second, I never talked about it in terms of "WHEN the baby is born," or "WHEN the baby is a little older," I always talked about things in terms of "IF"... "IF we get to bring the baby home...", "IF things work out..."
I also didn't want to talk about it for a long time. I didn't want to tell anyone till well into the second trimester, and even then we just told a few people. People who saw us regularly eventually figured it out, but we never announced in any kind of public way (on FB or something). I also didn't start buying anything till the third trimester.
bananas / 9357 posts
I had 2 MC's and I'm 10 weeks into my third pregnancy and I'm terrified of having another one. We're so close now to the 2nd tri but I'm sure I'll still worry even after we hit that milestone.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
I've not had a MC and I'm 13 weeks with this pregnancy, I still feel like I shouldn't get excited, even though the doctor told me the chances of losing the baby are less than 10%. My sister had 3 miscarriages, and I'm just fearing it could happen to me too.
pomegranate / 3350 posts
I had a very early MC and I don't think that I will get over it - at least not until after I am home with a baby in my arms. The MC itself was not a huge deal at the time because it happened so early that I never got attached to the idea that I was actually pregnant. It's more the fact that something can go wrong so easily and there is NOTHING you can do about it. I'm now 16 weeks and I have been convinced that we'll get bad news at every single doctor's appointment.
pear / 1554 posts
I've never had a MC but our first baby was born with trisomy 18 and he wasn't diagnosed until he was born. So with our second pregnancy, during the whole time, I was so worried something would be wrong with the baby. Our doctor did every test and took extra measurements during ultrasounds and he said things looked fine, but I still worried and stressed over it. I think if we have another baby, I will still be worried.
coconut / 8299 posts
I still worry about it and I'm almost 22 weeks now. The first miscarriage was really tough on my DH and I...much harder than the 2nd miscarriage. And we will never ever forget it. We still talk about that "baby" to this day.
coconut / 8681 posts
I honestly don't think that I'll ever feel "safe" in pregnancy. I had 2 and I'm almost 11 weeks right now. So far everything is looking good with this baby but I still count every bathroom trip that doesn't include me finding bleeding as a victory. After we hit the 2nd tri I'm sure I'll feel a little better but I'm already moving on to other worries: incompetent cervix, etc.
bananas / 9118 posts
While I have never had the pain of having that experience, it didn't take one for me to be terrified of having something go wrong (I'm sure I would need to multiply that by a million to be where you ladies are). I was seriously afraid to get that bonded to the baby before he came out. I definitely feel more relaxed and able to bond with him and really let myself love him now that he is out.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
I had one at 12 weeks and I don't think I'll ever get over it. I'm 6 weeks now and want to be optimistic, but it's really hard. Even friends that have had their babies, I look at them in awe because I'm so terrified of SIDS or something like that!
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
@Running Elley: I'm glad I'm not the only person who inspects for blood every time I go to the bathroom!!
coconut / 8681 posts
@MamaMoose: Definitely not the only one! I'm pretty sure that I'm stuck doing that for life!
pomegranate / 3329 posts
Nope, we aren't planning on anymore babies but if it happens that will always be in the back of my mind.
bananas / 9357 posts
@Running Elley: I always check the toilet paper when I go to the bathroom. I'm so paranoid. I also worry about a missed miscarriage as well since w/ my first MC there was no sign that anything went wrong.
pomelo / 5073 posts
having just had a late miscarriage at 20 wks, I know that with my next one, I'll be worried the entire time. It's something I am already worrying about and we can't even try for 3 months, so it's not like pregnancy is a possibility right now.
persimmon / 1087 posts
@Jennimac: Hugs to you! You are a strong woman. We are all here for you!
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
@Running Elley: I still check the toilet paper every time I go to the bathroom.
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