I don't want to get to much into it, so I figured I would just ask a quick question….if you needed to move in with family, parents or in-laws, for a temporary period (lets say 3-6 weeks), what would you expect to pay them?
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We moved in briefly with in-laws. They didn't want anything but I still paid for a utility bill and food.
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would offer but they wouldn't accept. I would likely buy food / other things they couldn't say no to.
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I'd offer to cover half of mortgage/rent. But I don't think they would take it.. I'd be sure to provide all my own groceries, ensure I kept everything tidy, etc. and ensure they didn't regret their decision.
Good luck!
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I would never move in with my in laws no matter what the circumstances. If we moved in with my parents it wouldn't even cross my mind to pay them anything, and they would never expect it. But we would be sure to buy groceries as much as possible.
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There's no way on earth they'd take anything, especially money. But they'd both probably love for me to cook every once in awhile and I would def stock the house with groceries because I can't not do that, that's just not me.
If you're staying with your parents or inlaws, you could just ask them and feel it out from there. -
Nothing! Geeze they would need to pay me
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We used to live with DH's parents while he was finishing school (no job) & I was making about $300 a week so we didn't pay them anything but we provided the entire house with Internet (they didn have it before us) I bought our own food/snacks & I cooked dinner for everyone 3 or 4 nights a week.
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We'd offer but my mom wouldn't accept it. We'd cover our groceries and make dinner/pitch in with chores etc.
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I would give my parents a generous thank you gift after I leave...it could be money, or a trip somewhere, just something to let them know how much I appreciated it.
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we would offer, but they would never accept. we would likely pay for some groceries, and i would cook for them as often as i could. i like @dolphin's idea of leaving a gift when you leave!
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So... As someone on the other end I would say offer. If they don't take it at least buy groceries here and and there, help out around the house, make dinner, clean up after yourself.
Oh and I can't stress an end date enough.
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We live with my folks. We pay a small portion of extra bills. I also buy a lot of groceries and other household things. We cook and clean as well. I could never live somewhere and not contribute something. We even offer to cook and buy groceries when we do an extended trip to my in laws (they decline but we always offer)
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We're living with my mom right now, and we're paying the utilities, plus a little extra. Also, if we weren't buying our own groceries, we would be paying her for those. In our case though, we've been here several months (finally moving out in 2 weeks!), so it's more of a we need to pay rent kind of situation. I would still 100% offer strongly, even if you know they'll turn it down.
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We lived with my parents for about 6 months (so, longer than 'a little while') and we bought groceries every other week. We also cooked most nights. We were super fortunate that they didn't ask/expect anything else.
I would offer, for sure, even if you're sure they'll turn it down. -
We offered to pay utilities and buy/cook food, but our family ended up giving us a free ride! 6-7 weeks total while we waited to close on our house.
We did pay for the cleaning and carpet cleaning when we moved out. -
We are just coming to the end of this and although we offered, nothing was accepted. (We did it because we are making an expensive move..) I'm grateful, and we have a degree of privacy. That said, I am so over this!!
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We paid for groceries (not just our own but theirs every other week). We also helped with utilities (water, power and gas) but they wouldn't take rent from us. We offered to cook but they prefer their own haha. Although, in your case, you and your fam could live with me for free if you cooked our meals (I drool over your IG food posts all the time)!
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If it's my mom, she wouldn't let us pay her anything. I'd try to cook some meals here and there, but she'd protest about that too.
If it's the ILs, I doubt they'll allow us to pay. As for as groceries and cooking, I'm not sure what their stance is actually. But I think they'll expect us to help with chores and cleaning up (the least we could do).
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I think if it's more than a week I would offer to pay rent but I know my parents/in-laws wouldn't let us do that. I would definitely pay for groceries to stock the house with food and plan to make several meals for everyone during the stay.
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I think if I offered, my parents might be offended. I might write my mom and dad a check as a "gift" though. I know its sounds convoluted!
When we visit them, its almost like moving in because we stay for 10-14 days at a time. During that time we pay for all meals out for the whole family.
When we've visited with FIL (again for 10-14+ days) we have tried to give them money to help offset the extra costs of driving us around (gas is extremely expensive in their country) and the extra food (they buy better food to feed us while we are there!) but they never want to accept it. I feel terrible because I know their incomes are far below ours in the US. We don't eat out or do anything like that so its not even like we can offer to pay for those kinds of expenses.
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Neither of our parents have a mortgage, so I don't think they'd expect us to chip in there. I'd probably just buy all the groceries.
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We lived with my ILs for 9 months. They wouldn't take anything, but we paid for groceries.
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They wouldn't accept anything but we'd definitely buy our own food and I would offer to cook a few meals a week.
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We moved in with my parents while our house is being built (previous home sold in less than a month). My parents live here half the week and the other half somewhere else for their work. Since we live here more, I usually pay for groceries, stock the kitchen, and keep the house clean. I also think the house is too cold from what they set it (especially with LO) that I always turn up the heat and my mom jokes I should pay for that.
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My parents wouldn't take rent...nor my inlaws. But, we would help with groceries and preparing meals and helping out.
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While juggling moves, we've lived with both sets of parents. My inlaws for a week, my parents for about 6 months.
We didn't pay in either situation, my parents wouldn't accept it. They'd be further offended if I tried to buy them groceries or paid utlity bills.
I agree though, to at least offer.
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Id expect to help with groceries, and chores, etc.
We're going to be staying with my parents for 3ish weeks when we move back to the States, and thats kind of the understanding we have come to here.
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I think it very much depends on the situation. Theirs, and yours. If they have it harder, or a small house, etc- where financially or dynamic-ally it's going to be difficult, I would imagine you'd help out more.
We moved into our in-law's in Sept to try to rent our house out becauwe we were eventually moving. They had a huge house but were living in another state at the time. DH's brother and step-brother were living there.
We lived the first 4 months rent-free (until we got the house fixed up and rented out) and then as agreed, starting Jan 1 we paid rent. Granted, it was $350 a month. Mostly they had us all pay rent to help cover the cable and utilities they wouldn't have kept on if we all weren't living there. The step-brother never paid though, and MIL's partner lied about it, so it was always a big deal- but we always paid on time out of principle. We were VERY glad to move out.
That being said, in different sitautions (and with different in-laws!) I would expect different arrangements. My mom's apt is VERY small so I would expect to have to pay a pretty good amount to make it worth it if it was for longer than a week or two.
If it had been a shorter time at my MIL's, I would have expected it to be probably just gorceries, helping out, etc.
I think it's good to err on the side of offering. Or saying "we talked and decided we could pay XX a week/month and wanted to see if that was in line with your expectations." Hopefully they'll say "don't worry about it!" or "Just give us $x a week for utilities!" etc.
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We moved in with my parents while we were looking for a house. We didn't pay anything because the whole reason they suggested that we move in was so we could save more for a down payment.
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I have lived at home as an adult and paid my mom rent of $400/ month. If I came back with my husband I'd imagine she would want $150 a week or $600/ month. However, the only circumstances I can think of where we would have an extended stay is if we exhausted our emergency fund and in that case I don't think she would charge us rent. In that case we are struggling versus needing temporary housing while a home renovation is being completed or something like that.
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I moved in with my parents between my engagement and getting married for 5-6 months. They expected me to help out around the house, cook 1-2 nights a week. Those acts of service were more valuable to them than money. and they knew I was saving for my wedding and marriage so they wouldn't have asked.
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We'd always offer, but I know if I moved in with my parents or in-laws, they wouldn't take our money. We'd definitely help buy groceries and pay for the tab when we go out and eat, etc. so we'd "pay" for it that way.
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I'm pretty sure if we moved in w/ either set of parents, they wouldn't take our money! I would just help out with cleaning/cooking, etc.
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@HLK208: family of 5 with delicious food coming your way! LOL
We have to move. We found a place we love but it won't be ready until mid April and we need to be out of our current place by the 20th of this month. MIL lives right up the street and had suggested living with her, DH called her last night and she started quoting her monthly expenses. I thought it was strange. She basically took her monthly expenses and then divided it down by person, therefore we would be paying 2/3 of the housing costs! My parents would never take anything from us, except I'm sure they would love it if I cooked every night and purchased groceries. Which I guess is what I had assumed (which I shouldn't have done) she would want. Especially with us having another baby coming, I was just taken by surprise
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If it was my mom, she wouldn't let us pay anything. Even if I bought groceries she would probably try to pay me back. But we'd try to help her out and do things for her and she'd see that as payment enough.
For MIL, she would never turn down cash. I doubt she'd ask outright for a specific $$ amount, but we give her money from time to time anyway.
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It would never cross my mind to pay, and my parents/in-laws would never ask us for anything.
I would definitely help w/chores, cooking, etc!
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We had to move in with my in-laws for about 6 weeks while our house was being renovated, and I cooked most nights and also bought groceries. When we moved out, we used points to buy plane tickets for them to go on vacation.
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We would offer, neither of our parents would take it though. Not even paying for groceries, etc.
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We'd offer, but they'd never accept. That being said, I'd probably do our grocery shopping, at least for D, and do the cooking some/most nights.
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