My LO (3 years old) is now a super picky eater. We made chili last night and I pretty much knew LO would not like it. Even though i make another soupy dish that has very similar ingredients that he's fine with. I served it to him anyway and all he ate was the bread, as expected. I didn't give him anything else because I want him to learn not to be picky about food. But that also means he pretty much skipped dinner last night. Is it okay to "force" him to eat food that he says he doesn't like? I don't want to make eating stressful for him either.
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This is tricky.
I was a super picky eater as a child, which would frustrate my dad like crazy. Basically all I would eat was crackers.
I think it is important not to make a huge dramatic deal about eating, I think that might have been my problem. Meals became such a battle and no one was happy. As he gets older you can suggest he try something new at each meal, but don't force him. Maybe stock up on some children's meal replacement drinks in the mean time, so you can be sure he's getting some nutrition at least.....
If you include one thing he likes and one new thing on his plate each time, that might make it seem less scary.
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You did just what my parents would do when we were kids. We got what everyone else was eating. If we didn't like it, we didn't eat dinner. Usually we came back to the table an hour or two later and asked for our plate and gobbled it up. Or we went to bed REALLY early so we forgot about being hungry.
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this is something i struggle with all the time. all the resources say not to make a separate meal for your lo and that they'll eat when they're hungry. but charlie doesn't! he will just skip the meal.
we're experimenting now with overhauling our diet and it's been helping a little.
i've always catered to charlie's food because i don't care about eating, and now that i'm making different food for olive who has a much broader palate, i'm seriously cooking/shopping/planning for food all the time making pretty much different dishes for the entire family.
maybe if i had never catered to his palate, he wouldn't have ended up so picky. i have a post that i never finished in my drafts about it.
did you cater to your lo's palate, or he just ended up picky?
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What exactly was his issue with the chili? Was it because it included a specific meat/veggie; or the texture, or?
Can you make games out of meals? See who can take the most bites? (maybe for a reward, like a dessert item that is healthy, but your LO doesn't have to know that!) Or, can you tell him a story about the food he would like - my mom got my brother to eat brocalli by telling him they were miniature trees and a whole talk about giants and dinosaurs and miniature things. Or say something about how one of his favorite tv/movie/book characters loves eating X food item, so you made it for him for dinner?
I think it's ok for kids to skip a meal here or there for them to learn that they won't be catered to; so I guess I would try to determine first why he won't eat - if its a legit reason or not. Good luck!
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LO is still very young, so I don't know how we will handle this in our house, but I was a very picky eater as a child. My parents never made a big deal about what I did or didn't eat. There was always at least one part of the meal that I would eat. (sometimes the main dish, sometimes a side, and sometimes just bread.) I was offered everything, but they didn't force me to eat anything. Eventually, I started becoming less and less picky. I think we'll do the same - offer what is on the table, but not try to coerce, trick, or make a game out of meals.
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@yoursilverlining: good suggestion! the stories thing has been incredible in our house lately, but your lo has to be old enough to understand. we tell charlie stories every evening at dinner and he's been eating things he would never eat before.
it doesn't always work -- sometimes he just doesn't want to eat -- but overall it has had a pretty huge effect.
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I'm a picky eater myself so I have no problem making something separate but easy for my LO. I also think it's a cultural thing for me. Jewish mothers are known to always want to feed their kids and not let them skip a meal/go hungry. That's very true for me!
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I do not make separate meals for DD. I think she needs to learn to eat how we do. I would rethink this if she wasn't gaining weight or had any type of health concern. If it's just a matter of her eating less at one meal, but more at another, I am fine with that. I just starting fiddling around with bentos/different food presentations. Sometimes it's not the taste that bothers DD, but the look of it so it helps to be creative.
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@artbee: i'm the same way. my mom catered to my brother's pickiness his entire life, and he's not picky anymore. it's largely cultural -- i can't starve my kids!
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This is something my parents did that we plan to replicate in our home.
At all times, there were chopped fresh veggies (carrots, celery, broccoli) in tupperware in the fridge, and a frozen soup (split pea, lentil, vegetable) in the freezer. If we didn't like what was being served, we could have the veggies and soup. That was our only second choice.Even if we didn't like the soup either, knowing that we had a choice and some kind of power over what we were eating made us much more willing to eat something. I remember as a four or five year old I was way more willing to try something knew if I knew I didn't HAVE to. I always knew there was soup in the freezer, and I had a choice. It really helped.
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I used to cater to my first DD's eating habits, but her pickiness just got worse and worse. So I've been better this year about offering her more variety. She is actually better about eating now. It amazes me. DD 2 is approaching the picky stage, but so far so good. She eats enough variety that I'm not too worried about her. I also know that if she does get a little picky, I can get through it again like I did with DD 1. It just takes being persistent.
My husband was catered to his pickiness his entire life... He never ate his lunches at school because they weren't warm. He would starve til he got home and his grandpa made him something hot. He's still pretty picky to this day and doesn't eat leftovers and a majority of foods. I don't want my kids going down that path at all. I eat pretty much anything and they will too I hope!
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When DS was younger, I made him the food he liked but it was the same dish every night. He got sick of it after a month and now he eats what we eat and he's also really healthy! He prefers grapes over chips and salad over pizza.
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My son is picky at home but not picky at school! it's very frustrating. I told myself to keep serving him veggies/new things because maybe his palate would change but this is very expensive and wasteful.
I know I need to do better butThis is so embarassing but this is what his options are for dinner:
Pasta with butter
chicken nuggets
pizza
oatmeal
cheerios with milk
sweet potato (microwaved)at least these are all quick options
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As a child I was very picky, so my mom made family dinners and then made me something else I liked. Spoiled me haha, my dad HAATTED that she did that, he said she was encouraging my pickyness..which I guess she did because once I started dating DH I started eating all kinds of things I never ate before because I "didn't like them".
So now, i'm still picky and only cook stuff I eat. Sorry DH but I do the cooking, so you don't get fish
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@Arden: that is really interesting. i serve a dinner but if charlie doesn't eat it, i always have frozen soups that he can eat instead. if he doesn't want that, then he usually doesn't want anything anyway.
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No... if she doesn't eat what we give her, then we just say "all done" and she's done for the meal.
She is generally a really good eater though, so it's not a big deal for us if she doesn't eat that much sometimes... and it doesn't seem to bother her either.
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@Arden - I think that's a great idea! I will need to store that tip away.
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