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I think I've always technically been pro-choice. Although personally as a moral issue, I believe abortion to be morally acceptable only in extremely specific circumstances, I've always wanted the right legally protected (because I don't think my morality should dictate laws). However, I've potentially "softened" my stance to be more pro-choice (or perhaps, same outcome, but more sympathetic) just as I've seen more of the world/how others live, etc. Like, the worst thing that would have happened to teenage me if I got pregnant was disappointed parents. That's clearly not everyone's experience of the world. So just as I've been exposed to more of the possible circumstances that might lead one to choose abortion, then I'm more sympathetic to it as a possibility (not sure that made sense).

I was raised Catholic and therefore had the mindset of abortion being murder, etc. I guess I began changing my mind when 1) I left the church and 2) I began to feel very strongly about any person's right (not just a woman) to decide what happens to their bodies. I had a friend in high school that got pregnant our freshman year. Obviously she needed parents' consent for the procedure which her mother refused. It broke my friend. And I remember feeling like that was unfair. Anyway, she was sent to an alternative school during the pregnancy and I didn't see her again until a few years after college. I asked her how her son was (I knew she had a boy) and she told me that after all these years she still only loved him like a brother because she felt forced to have him. I felt bad for her pain and guilt in feeling that way. That has stuck with me though.
My husband teaches philosophy at a college and abortion is covered in his ethics class. I really love an article he has his students read about a man that needs a kidney. This man is in desperate need of a kidney. It will give him life. The question is what obligation does anyone have to give him "life"? Why put my body through such an ordeal? Very interesting topic!

I am pro-life and am still pro life but I think your first paragraph hits the nail on the head. There are many pro-lifers who refuse to recognize the impact an unwanted pregnancy can have and there are pro-choicers who don't see that many pro-lifers are actually *just* concerned about the life/rights of the fetus/baby. So I really hate when pro-lifers say anti-life and when pro-choices say anti-choice. I don't think either side is necessarily anti the other, it's that they are talking about different things. And both need to recognize that choice can come at the expense of life and life can come at the expense of choice. We can argue until we are blue in the face about whic is more important but there will never be one true all encompassing answer, so we should just try to build a society where women aren't forced to choose between the two.

Paradoxically, my views softened during my first pregnancy. I could see how when you can't feel the baby kick or see them or know anything about them, it is pretty easy to feel disconnected. (Not that women have abortions just because they feel disconnected, I do realize it's more complex than that). Pregnancy feels more like a status at that point as opposed to later when you feel like it's a person inside of you. I know women can be in really complex situations and I have a lot of compassion for that. I would never judge anyone who had an abortion.

@jedeve: I'm curious, and this is not a snarky question, why you are pro-life if you don't judge people for having an abortion? How do you reconcile your sympathetic view with the desire to make abortion illegal? Just because the legal option is there doesn't mean that individuals have to exercise it.

Disclaimer: I am a pretty secular person, and I have always been pro-choice. I have never had an abortion.

I was raised Catholic (still practicing and left-leaning) and actually felt much more strongly pro-choice growing up. Now having my own children, I feel a visceral kind of discomfort hearing about abortion stories. I just can't get behind it morally for myself, barring a very significant reason.

All that said, I just can't oppose leaving the option available for other women. There are just too many factors involved and it doesn't sit right with me to sit and judge from my relative place of privilege.

My pregnancy, delivery & parenthood. I was raised Catholic so being prolife was easy. Who doesn't love babies? Don't kill children. That last phrase was on a sign I held at a rally as a child. Growing up of course I discovered life is a lot more complicated than that. Carrying a baby to term and placing for adoption sounded pretty simple before I was pregnant.

Exactly this! Can't agree with you more. I always felt like people that are pro-life vs pro-choice don't need to be in such a headlock and at odds with one another b/c they're not really championing for the opposite things.

I am Christian, and I am inherently pro-life, meaning that I believe the fetus, upon conception, was God's creation and therefore has a right to life.

With that said, I would also say I am pro-choice, because I do believe that we have free will and should have the right to choose. Sometimes, abortion is the right choice for that woman in that circumstance, and sometimes, it's the wrong choice, though none of us can be the judge. I absolutely believe women need access to safe abortions if that's the way they choose to go. I actually feel like banning abortions is people (us) trying to play God.

I am sure that no one that's pro-choice would want a fetus, however early in development, to not exist. But at the same time, if all lives matter, then the mother carrying this fetus should also have a choice if her life matters.

I don't even know if one can really be pro-life and pro-choice at the same time, but I just feel like it doesn't have to be one or another, in theory.

@ElbieKay: haha well not judging people is a pretty central part of my faith, as is a belief in the sanctity of life.

I don't necessarily think it should be illegal. I think that measures to restrict abortion are a little pointless. We shouldn't defund planned parenthood. Roe v. Wade won't be overturned and I don't see any point wasting political capital and energy trying to make it happen. I think *both* sides (and I say this as a democrat) use abortion as a way to rally their bases, drive support and donations. We would all be MUCH better served spending our energy on paid maternity leave, affordable childcare and healthcare, access to and education on birth control. And more importantly, empowering and educating young women and reducing the stigma of single parenthood, and generally valuing parenthood as an important contribution to society. If we spend time judging we would never change the societal perceptions and actually reduce abortion rates. Oh, and educating men on rape prevention (not in a snarky "just don't rape" way, but there is some good work being done on consent, etc.)

But I really don't judge. I had a friend in college who had had an abortion. I've been in the position of a surprise pregnancy, but I was married and it wasn't unwanted, it was just waaaay closer to my first pregnancy than I wanted. But I completely realize that's not the same situation as being 14 and knocked up by your rapist uncle. How could I judge that? And I'm sure I have friends who have had abortions and I just don't know.

I consider myself pro-life because I believe the baby/fetus does have a right to life. I don't necessarily think it's tantamount to all else, and don't think a women's rights are unimportant. I think it's a complicated issue where pro-choices should realize it's not just "my body my choice" (but someone else's body/potential body) and pro-lifers should realize women bear a disproportionate amount of the impact. These are issues that contradict and we will never reach an agreement. So we should focus on other things. But I don't judge.

I think you're exactly right that it's two different conversations. The pro-choicers are not like going around telling people to kill all the babies or anything. I can definitely understand where the pro-lifers are coming from but it is extreme. I guess I have never been pro-life per se because I cannot agree with anyone that wants to take other people's rights away. And I'm sorry, a living, breathing woman's rights should always trump an embryo's that cannot survive or grow outside of said woman's body. However, before I ever got pregnant or had kids, I definitely judged women that had abortions because of careless mistakes (never any judgement for women who needed to terminate for medical reasons and I have very strong judgments for those who judge women in that position!). Now that I have kids, I understand what a life changing thing that first positive pregnancy test is. The decision to have a baby or not when conception has already occurred is something that will stay with you the rest of your life. I don't care how or why someone is pregnant, it is her ultimate decision what happens.

@simplyfelicity: I have never really even articulated this to other people before! (it just hasn't come up) I used to feel like I have to be pro-life but that that never sat well with me either and I never thought that Jesus would tell me to force women to give birth to babies when they don't want to!

@jedeve: I very much agree with you!! Well put.

I grew up very pro-life, and I am still pro-life in the sense that I am anti-abortion. But, I will say I think they should be legal and safe, and that pro-lifers should work more towards improving circumstances so that they are completely unnecessary except in the car of rape, incest, or where the health of the baby and the mother is at risk. I am often turned off by pro-life camps who just want to shut down clinics or restrict access, because that's not getting to the heart of the provlem, in my opinion. There's no abortion in Latin America, but that's not stopping women from trying to get abortions who have been affected by Zika. AND I'm ok with them trying to find one, in this case. But I still think that the fetus is a baby, and in this case, they are trying to do what's best for their whole family.

This is super rambly, sorry. I would say thst meeting more people and hearing stories of women with very wanted but ultimately invisible pregnancies who choose to have abortions has softened my stance somewhat. I am coming around to the idea that you can make a loving, heart-wrenching decision to let your child go if it seems like the best thing to do for him/her. I'm still very opposed to abortions because it's not the right time, or whatever. But my reaction isn't as visceral to abortion in generaL as it once was.

Oddly enough, becoming a mom influenced to be more "pro-life" for myself in terms of I could never justify having an abortion myself; whereas in a past life, my young, single self would definitely have considered it if I was ever in the situation of having an unplanned pregnancy.

Becoming a mother has made me be more pro-choice for women in general because there are so many, many situations, factors, lifetime affects, and outcomes that it should definitely be a woman's right to choose her own path. I am an evangelical Christian and at the core of my faith is that I should not judge others. I agree with a lot of sentiments listed above that there are much more proactive measures to prevent unwanted pregnancies from occurring vs making abortions illegal which would be much more fruitful to the "pro-life" campaign.

@Anagram: I am firmly in support of abortion, but I basically share your position on it. I wish that everyone had easy and cheap access to and education about contraceptives. I wish that medical care was easily accessible by everyone before and after they got pregnant. I wish that our society supported women who wanted to keep children but cannot afford to.

That being said, I believe that the fetus has a right to life. But I also believe that the woman carrying that fetus has a right to her own life, and to not have to carry a baby if she truly cannot or does not want to. Also, abortion methods have been known throughout history - they will happen regardless of the legality of it. The question is whether or not they'll be safe and clean for the woman involved. Safe and legal access to abortion is, first and foremost, an issue of women's rights.

So normally I don't post on any of the moral or political post on HB because I know I would be in the minority, but I feel like this is a topic where my affiliation gets skewed. I am suuupppper conservative, way to the right in most of my political thoughts....except when it comes to religious things. I feel it's not the governments right to tell me who I can marry, or what I can do with my own body. IMO those are church issues, and church and state should be separate in every sense of the word! Stay out my business! Lol. Abortions are horrible and after having been pregnant and have a child, I would never have one. But 15 years ago when I was essentially a drug addict teenager, I would never have been able to properly care for a child, and I would have had no family support. I don't know what I would have done had I of gotten pregnant. In any regard it's not my right to tell another woman what she can do with her body, nor is it anybody's right to tell me what I can do with mine. So even though abortions break my heart as a legal issue I'm pro choice.