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Not us, but DH's BFF and his wife have three boys. She wants a fourth child, he is done. He's been done since baby #2. I think she's come to terms with it.

DH wants 2 and I want 3 so we will have 2 because I don't want to talk him into something as big as this! He has always wanted 2 and I was the one that changed my mind.

Since your DH was on board I would just talk to him about why he has changed his mind. Maybe it is nerves or maybe he is really done.

We are struggling with this right now. I say right now, but we agreed to table the conversation for a bit. We have a 7 month old, conceived through IVF. I really don't want him to be an only child and never dreamed we would be in this conversation as I have always said I wanted 2+ kids. I am trying not to get too worked up about it yet. I realize our struggles with infertility and our age (39 & 40) have affected his thought process. But I felt blindsided by his doubts about trying for #2.

Our situation was weird because my husband initially wanted two and I wante three so we agreed on two and then we will see about a third. After our son was born my husband had bad PPD and was saying he was wanting to be one and done, I honestly just couldn't fathom myself having less than two children. It was a very hard time and a big threat to our marriage because I also was not at all comfortable with having a child with him unless he was equally on board. Well it took about a year but he came around and when we were TTC this baby he was really involved as well as the pregnancy. He is pretty adamantly done though so I think any wish I have for a third is gonna have to resolve itself. Sometimes I'm a teeny bit sad about it or jealous of the moms who can have more but in the long run I'm really okay with it. One wouldst have worked for me but two I feel like I can enjoy without feeling like my family is missing something. My second is due in march so who knows I may feel really all together done after she is born too.

Before we had kids I sort of wanted one and he sort of didn't. But he wasn't totally closed off to the idea of kids and I wasn't totally gung-ho about it. We set a date in the future to discuss/make a decision about it because I was in no hurry (like, 2 years in the future). Then my bc wasn't working for me and when we switched to a possibly less reliable birth control we discussed the possibility of a surprise baby and how okay he would be with that because I would 100% have a baby if I got pregnant and if he wasn't down for that we needed to double up on protection. He said he was fine with the risk and a year later I ended up pregnant and he was immediately fine with it (said he actually preferred that to making a decision and trying because it felt more meant to be).

Now we have 1 and he feels he is very done whereas I'm not sure. Right now I feel like I COULD be done but I also sort of suspect in another year or two I may want another, whereas I suspect he is going to hold firm on being done.

I think if I decide I definitely want another one I'll tell him and ask him to live with the possibility/consider it for some period of time-- like maybe 6 months or something. But ultimately if he really doesn't want another I won't push it. I have no interest in having a baby without a husband that is totally on board.

My husband turned out to be the one who wanted more. I was, eventually, happy to give up the infertility game and just treasure my one awesome child. A sibling for her was really important to him, and he was heartbroken to hear that I didn't want anymore. After hearing that, I decided to try to be open to another - and then I got pregnant the next month, and it was decided! Now I'm irritated about being pregnant, not looking forward to having another newborn, but excited for the rest of it, after the hardest part passes.

I always feel like my DH is so reasonable, that when he really has a strong opinion about something, I try to REALLY be open to his view, because he always has good rationale behind his feelings. And if/when he has strong feelings about something that's different or stronger than my feelings, I usually rarely go against him.

We're in the opposite position...He is in the 3 kid camp, and I am more okay with 2. Or rather, okay with 2 and dreading a 3rd pregnancy- especially one in my late 30s...But I know he'd love a 3rd, so I'm just preparing myself for the fact that we'll *probably* end up with a 3rd. Because not wanting to be pregnant again seems like a lame reason, really. And there's pretty much nothing I wouldn't consider and ultimately do for him.

We're mostly on the same page with having two kids, but DH really wants a son. We currently have a daughter, and will likely try for a second soon. If we have a second daughter I wouldn't be surprised if DH floated the idea of #3, whereas I feel like I'd be ok with 1, am open to 2 kids, and definitely don't want three. But... I also want him to be happy, so we'll cross that bridge if we come to it.

@MamaBehr: I was talking to MR. Jacks about this last night. He said there were two reasons (well three really) that he changed his mind. First and most obvious is that we couldn't say no to M's sibling. The second was that we made the goal of our discussion focused on empathize mg with each other's position. He rally couldn't understand where I was coming from at all. It took time for him to wrap his head around it, since he feels we already have a perfect family, so why push our luck. Finally, it was about giving him time to digest it all slowly.

Imagine how hard that was for me at my age! But it was either patience from me or getting used to the idea of our family as it was. I know how hard it is... But my patience paid off!