In light of the thread about adults giving a list of items they want including gift cards as a gift suggestion...
If your gift misses the mark, what would you like the recipient to do after thanking you for your thoughtfulness?
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Return it and buy something they want or need. I don’t want someone hanging on to and storing something they don’t want out of guilt. That’s a waste of my money I spent on them.
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Also no need for them to tell me either way! That’s why I always automatically include the gift receipt.
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I tried to add a poll three times!
What would you like the recipient to do if they don’t like your gift?
A- provide feedback so you gift better next time
B- provide a specific list so you gift better next time
C- tell you their plan to return, regift, sell, or donate
D- not tell you their plan to return, regift, sell, or donate
E- decline the gift so you can regift, return, or use yourself
G- just say thank you, keep it and just not use it
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: oh- C or D. If it’s something like, oh I loved the sweater but it didn’t fit, tell me. If it’s like, oh nice thought but I don’t like it, go ahead and return it without telling me.
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D and B - they don't need to tell me that my gift missed the mark and should return/regift/sell/donate as they see fit. But for future gift-giving, if they could give me a list for the future (and I always ask for one, so this wouldn't be rude), that would be AWESOME.
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I would want to know so I could take it into account next time. And would be fine with them returning it. Also, lately I do think it's a good idea to find out in advance what they want (from them or someone close to them). I try not to spend on things that are wants but not needs, which means that by the time the holidays roll around, I've got a wish list a mile long, and would love to get even one thing from that list instead of something useless.
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d
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D, but perhaps C if they said "hey I loved that book you got me but I actually read it already; so I took it to the shop and exchanged it for X"
But not C if it's "thanks for the gift but it just wasn't my taste so I'm sending it back"
Other than that, I don't expect a response other than "thank you". That's what I was taught. You send a thank you card or whatever and specifically mention what you like about the gift and how you'll use it. It just is the polite way to handle things
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@Adira: Same!
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I would prefer a list to use as a guide. But I never want someone to refuse the gift or tell me what their plan to return/regift/exchange it. That's just rude. All I expect is a thank you.
Case in point: Every year, my SIL gifts me a 2XL bathrobe or pajamas or something. I'm clearly not a 2XL, but I still say thank you and then quietly exchange it for my actual size.
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D & G!
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D, but then as next Christmas approaches B.
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@Adira: Ha! Didn’t see this. We’re on the same page.
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A thank you and then do what they want is fine, no need to tell me whether they loved it or not. I usually include gift receipts when possible and if they want to say what they exchanged for that's fine too, I'm not offended, but I don't expect anything really! (Like if I mailed it and I don't even get a thank you then I don't really notice that either!)
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Just say thanks and do what they want with it. Hopefully exchange or regift rather than wasting. My MIL got me baby clothes for my first and always includes gift receipts then was annoyed when I returned a dress I hated and was never going to put my Kid in. I didn’t tell her I was going to, but she asked where a picture of her wearing the dress was and my husband threw me under the bus. Haha. Don’t give me a gift receipt if you don’t want it exchanged potentially! I know that was a bit off topic...
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Definitely they should say nothing but a warm thank-you, and not tell me anything - I should never know that it missed the mark. Then next time a gift-giving occasion rolls around, they can send me a wish list.
I once sent flowers to a family member who thanked me on the phone then immediately said "You know you can always just get me something from my wish list." I was really offended and made a note to never get them flowers ever again. Don't tell people you didn't like their gift!
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Option d, which is why I include a gift receipt.
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D
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I would either let it sit there or try to regift or return. Unless it was my mom, I would never tell someone directly that I didn't like the gift.
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19 comments