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@marionberry: okay I'm confused because our kids are the close to the same ages and I think they'll be a year apart in school with the 9/1 cutoff. We intend to have DS go to kindergarten in 2019, so he'll turn 6 a month into the school year and be the oldest in his class. DD will start in 2020 so she'll be 5 by only a couple months and the youngest in her class. what am I missing?
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My girls are on opposite sides of the Dec. 31 cutoff. They're ten days less than two years apart but will be one year apart if we send them on schedule. I'm inclined to send the older one early if she tests in. She's the kind of kid that bores easily and so far is advanced in language and rather tall. All of her friends are older so she'll be left behind once they all go to school.
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I find it interesting how much focus has been put on size. I started first grade at 5 years old, and also, I was the smallest person in the mixed age classroom. Next year, I was still the smallest. 25 years later I'm still the smallest person in just about any situation, and I can assure everyone that it did not greatly bother me. In high school I did swimming, so my size didn't make me any more or less competitive. I was never teased or bullied an unusual amount due to my size - just the normal amount that any kid experiences. I really think it's a weird, overblown thing to stress out about.
There also seems to be a lot of focus on reading ability, which makes a lot more sense to me. I was a really great reader from a young age, so my early entry into first grade made sense in that regard. I'll think pretty strongly about that when it comes time to decide about my daughter.
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@jetsa: Now that you say that, I think you're right. They would be one year apart in school if I follow the rules. Thank you for making me sit down and calculate that. I blame "mom brain". I still am contemplating sending him in early though if he appears up for it; 13 days seems a ridiculous reason to make him wait a year.
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@marionberry: no problem. I was like whoa did I miscalculate?!?
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Another perspective- http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/youngest-kid-smartest-kid
Basically, when you get to middle school and beyond, younger kids tend to do better because they are more used to working hard. Of course generalizations don't apply to every kid but it's nice to see that not everything says older is better.
LO is an end of July bday, we have 9/1 cut offs here, so she will have just turned five when she starts kindergarten and will be one of the youngest. I'm not worried (now, at not even two). DH and I were both the oldest in our classes and did well, but I definitely coasted by until college and never had to work too hard. Probably being more challenged would have been good for me- but having it be easy to get good grades also helped me get into a good college.
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@sarac: haha me too, I always have been and always will be on the short side, and I think it's very overstated as a reason. That said, I do think people take it into account more for boys than girls.
@Foodnerd81: interesting, I like seeing something from the other perspective.
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We're in an odd situation. Our state offers districts 2 choices of cutoff, and DD's birthday is in the middle. The local districts are split evenly and we will be moving when she is about 3. This will be a factor in our decision as to where to move but we want to wait until she is older to make the choice.
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We faced this problem too when my son started school. The cutoff here is september and he has a mid august birthday. He'll most likely always be one of the youngest in class. He started preschool at 3 years old and adjusted much better than I anticipated. This topic came up again when he entered kindergarten during this school year. If we were to hold him back, this would be the year. We also found that two of his classmates were planning on repeating prek. We consulted with his teacher at the time and she said she didn't see any issues with him advancing. He's been doing really well academically, physically and mentally. He's pretty open with us about the fact that some of his classmates are more mature or complete their work faster. It doesn't seem to bother him though - it just pushes him to work that much harder. I don't regret not holding him back. But each kid is different.
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LO is going to be homeschooled, so it's not really an issue here, but I wanted to throw in my experience. I was born 9/2 in a district with a 9/1 cutoff, but they let me start. I actually liked being the youngest (possibly related to my preference for hanging out with people older than me? Or possibly the cause of it?), but my mom has always said that I lagged behind my classmates in maturity. Looking back, I definitely agree. So in a lot of ways, I would clearly have benefited from starting later. The problem is that I was always way aged throughout elementary school and even gifted classes didn't keep me from getting bored. So clearly holding me back would have only exacerbated that. I don't know what the solution would have been (other than possibly homeschooling, but for a very broke single mom that was not at all an option), but it's something I've thought about quite a bit.
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I have a boy with a late October birthday and we live in a district with a September cutoff. I don't think there's an option to start earlier and he will be in public school TK for a full year before kindergarten. I would have most likely kept him back even if there was a December cutoff. Our second LO is also a boy and due late September, so it will be the same situation. I actually have a close friend and my SIL who both have boys who are about 49-50 weeks younger than my LO (born in October a year later) and I'm curious as to whether they will end up being the same grade in school. At only 2.5 and 1.5 years old now it's hard to imagine them in the same grade, but I know the difference will decrease somewhat as they get older.
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