I don't think I would date for years!! For starters, I'd have no one to watch the kids when I went out on dates haha!
If your SO died, how long would it be before you started dating?
I don't think I would date for years!! For starters, I'd have no one to watch the kids when I went out on dates haha!
If your SO died, how long would it be before you started dating?
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
I can't answer that cause I can't imagine that happening.
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
forever..... I'm terrible at dating and I'd be a total mess if he died
coconut / 8498 posts
Ugh, I don't even want to think about this. However, I think it would be quite a while. I wouldn't make an arbitrary number of years as a rule, but I just think it would take a long time to find someone that would be as good enough to make it worth it. DH is a rare find
grapefruit / 4819 posts
A bit of a grim topic and not one I like to think about. I can't answer as I don't see myself with anyone other than my husband, but for perspective, one of my best friends is in the very early stages of a relationship with a man who lost his wife four years ago. She was struck by a car and killed whilst taking her infant and toddler out for a walk, it was terrible. One of our best friends was good friends with her and has kept in touch with her widow, hence how he and our other friend have met up and are now talking...
For some reason, I feel like men are better able to move on, especially when they have young children. Not sure if that's just been my experience or if there's some actual basis to that....
grapefruit / 4110 posts
I don't know exactly how long but probably not years, I year. I couldn't imagine being alone. Granted, I have thought a lot about this because my husband has a terminal disease. He has Cystic Fibrosis and there is a great chance he will live till he is old. But he will die from Cystic Fibrosis. He could also very easily get a bad sickness and it will speed that up.
honeydew / 7968 posts
Honestly, at this point, I don't think I'd want to meet anyone else.... Helps to have 2 kids to devote my life to!
coconut / 8475 posts
Well, besides that I love him very much and I can't imagine loving anyone else:
We have kids now! So, I can't see myself dating for a long time.
coconut / 8681 posts
A very very long time. I can't imagine finding someone else but I know things happen and I'd probably adjust eventually. I just... Can't even imagine it.
GOLD / wonderful pea / 17697 posts
I have no idea. I really can't imagine anyone even close to as well-suited to me as D is, and with a child I think I'd be really really picky. It'd likely be years, if ever, before I'd even consider dating again. And the chance if getting serious with someone seems very slim...it would have to be someone who was in the same ballpark as D, suitability-wise, AND someone who loves E like his own child. I couldn't even date someone who couldn't love both of us. Not to say it couldn't happen, but doesn't seem likely.
Anyway, I would be devastated if something happened to DH, and I think it would be a long, long time before I even thought about trying to move on.
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
I have no idea. I don't even think about that stuff, and DH works in a job where it's not expected or anything, but definitely possible. I think now that I have LO all decisions including dating ones would be about her.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
My husband and I have talked about this, not because we're weird or anything, but because I don't want him to become a hermit...my husband has the tendency to withdraw into himself and I worry what that would do to our son.
I'd be totally fine with him dating a year after I passed, and he'd be fine with that as well.
bananas / 9227 posts
If I were to die, I'd worry about him meeting the wrong type of girl. He can be very naive and I would come back from the grave if he were to be taken advantage of!
Hypothetically, I would want to share the responsibility of raising DD, but she's getting older now and I think I'd be happier alone. I don't think I would ever find anyone to replace him. I just got my period and I'm soo emo right now, OMG! Wahhh!
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
The grieving process lasts 18 months they say. It's amazing how the heart can heal with time. Depending on the age of our children, probably a couple years for me. I wouldn't force it, but I wouldn't assume that no man could ever measure up because he doesn't have to. Nobody would replace DH. But I wouldn't want to be companionless and I wouldn't want him to be, either.
clementine / 896 posts
A million years. I can't imagine being with anyone else. I have told my SO before though if I died it was ok to move on and be with someone else, I worry he'd never let himself be happy again if something happened to me.
pineapple / 12793 posts
Wow you guys are all so devoted. I'd start dating 1.5-2 years later if DH died. I'd solve the baby sitting problem by moving closer to my parents. I think I'd need their care for myself for a while. I adore DH and cannot imagine this happening, but I don't want to raise DD without a father figure and I don't want to be alone for the next 50 years.
One of my mom's friends passed from cancer a few years ago and her husband had not only dated, but remarried nine months later. That always freaked me out. I would be pissed if DH married someone else within the year.
pomelo / 5257 posts
I don't even know if I could, but it would be at least a few years. I'd really want to at least try, though, because I would hate the idea of being alone forever and I don't think my DH would want me to be alone. My grandfather died before I was born so probably about 30 years ago, and my grandmother never dated anyone else. She always says, "I had the best." It's very devoted and sweet to some extent, but it also breaks my heart because I know she's been lonely and from what I know about my grandfather, I don't think he would have wanted it to be like this.
grapefruit / 4823 posts
probably a few years. i can't see it being never, but not immediately either.
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