which way did/will it fall?
DH and I both have always been a 2 maybe 3 family. DH says he would have one or two more kids (we have two boys), but says it's (obvi) up to me since I have to go through all the hard/difficult parts of pregnancy, childbirth/labor, nursing, etc.
I haven't ruled out #3 yet, but I'd be happy with my two too.
pomegranate / 3565 posts
Before we got married, DH would have been happy with 4. I wanted 3 max. For a while I just wanted 2. The decision has always been left to me. If I wanted 5, DH would probably go for it.
We're currently expecting #3.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
We said/agreed on 3 if we doubled up, but we'd be 2 and through if we have one of each. DS is 2 and we're expecting DD in March. So technically, we should be 2 and through (everyone thinks we are too because we have that perfect combo). However, we've discussed recently and are open to a 3rd. We're going to wait and see how things go with DD first, of course. #3 might be a "let's just see" kind of thing since we don't conceive easily. Who knows! But I think ultimately, 3 would be our max!
pomelo / 5093 posts
We originally wanted two, and then the second never happened, and I decided that I was done after one. My husband was just heartbroken to hear this, and really asked me to reconsider or even consider surrogacy or anything, just to have one more child. Of course I was already pregnant when we had this conversation, and it all worked out really perfectly. I'm so glad that I had the second one.
cantaloupe / 6131 posts
I would only be an issue because of how awfully I respond to pregnancy - DH felt so bad he was like I will get snipped - but we have always been open to adoption and fostering so if he wanted more than I could handle giving birth to we would adopt.
squash / 13764 posts
DH wants like 4-5. I want 2, maybe 3. We have 2 and I think we will go for 3--I think he would be really upset if we stopped at 2. But I can't imagine more than 3, unless we made huge life changes (moved elsewhere, had help, etc).
grapefruit / 4321 posts
I can't ever see myself having another child just to appease my husband. It would have to be something I REALLY TRULY wanted, and not just something I went along with because it's what he wanted. I often see this the other way around (the wife wants more kids and the husband doesn't) and I always wonder why on Earth someone would want to have another child with a partner who isn't equally enthusiastic. It just sounds to me like a recipe for resentment and disaster.
pomegranate / 3565 posts
@Truth Bombs: Very true. I've seen so many dads that didn't want the number of kids they have. It's kind of sad when you hear someone say they didn't want kids, yet they have two. Or when you congratulate a dad on his 4th and he makes a face because he didn't really want #3 either.
grapefruit / 4066 posts
We have 2 and I am 99% done, but DH would have another if I wanted, as he wants 3. He said its up to me though- if we were closer to my family and had more help, if DH was home more, I might consider having a third.
apricot / 259 posts
When we met (at 18) my husband wanted tons of kids and I always said I wanted to be one and done. After graduating college and being DINKS for a couple of years, he is fully on board with being one and done since it would enable us financially continue the lifestyle we currently enjoy.
We are both open to having more kids if in a couple if years we were feel our family is incomplete but would like the kids to be far apart in age. We plan to restart the conversation when baby #1 turns 3. At that point we'll decide whether we want to TTC again or pursue foster/adoption (which we both would really like to do)
pomelo / 5607 posts
DH wanted no more than two no matter what, and would have been okay with none. I initially wanted three. So two was our compromise. I now want one, and he's very happy. One is definitely our ideal.
If he wanted more, we'd have to seriously discuss it. Not only do I have to do all the pregnancy/birth/nursing, I'm a SAHM so the vast majority of the child care (and motn wake ups!) falls on me. DH makes enough that we can afford more kids without effecting his work load, so overall another baby would impact my day to day life MUCH more than his. So we'd have to do some serious talking in that case.
Overall I'm very glad we agree on one and done. It definitely makes things simpler!
grapefruit / 4663 posts
We ended up having a second, DH was content with just our son. I'm the oldest of 4 and rooted for the sibling.
grapefruit / 4418 posts
Following! DH wants 4 and while I initially thought 3 maybe 4 would be fun, now that I'm pregnant with #2 I can see myself wanting to be done after this one. Not sure how it will play out for us, maybe a compromise on 3?! I'm very much taking it one kid at a time.
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