I'm usually not self-conscious at all, but there's something about someone asking you if you're pregnant when you're definitely not that makes you want to stop eating for a couple months.

My mom's old lady friend stopped by to see her new house & was fussing over Sadie, then she looks up, pats her stomach, and says "Oh! Are we doing it again?!" Of course I was all "Whaaa?" And she was like "You're expecting another?" Um, no. No that's just my fat, thanks. She was apologizing all over herself, blaming it on my shirt (I'm wearing a maternity shirt, because I have zero warm weather clothes), but seriously lady... who asks that?! My mom started to make fat jokes about herself to try to ease the tension... she's so cute.

I'm not mad & it's kind of funny, but I don't really want to look pregnant. Excuse me, I need to go throw away everything in my pantry.