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I think everything seems like a bigger deal when you are pregnant and a bit hormonal and unsure of what is to come. Honestly there is very little you really NEED when your kid is born. One of those things, is clothes-- so yay for those! And who knows, you might have another boy anyways. I don't really get the counting to reuse clothes thing because even if they are gender neutral, they are pretty useless unless you have a kid the same size/same time of year. And you can always get cheap clothes from the resale shop so it is just not a thing to stress about.
Handmade blankets and whatnot are really sweet. Those people spent so much time on your kid! Especially if they are from people dear to you. Even if you don't use them right away it may be a thing your kid treasures when they are older. I didn't register for any blankets and I got 7 (at least!) at my shower. I've gotten great use out of 5 of them in the last year and two of them have become my LO's favorite things.
I feel like you just need to sort unwanted things into two categories: sentimental (which you suck it up and keep because thats what we do in polite society) and non-sentimental (go ahead and return it/donate it-- NBD). And just go buy what you think you still need. Sure it'd be nice if you'd gotten everything you needed from other people but it never works out that way. Baby gear is the least of the expenses you're facing, you get numb to it pretty soon
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Also don't mean to be harsh, but what does it mean to get an "incorrect gift?" I think of registries are things people can go to for help in picking out a gift if they want, but not something your party guests are bound to or required to even consult.
As an aside, our local toy store here now has registries kids can make for their own birthday parties...i get the convenience and the attraction of getting exactly what you want, but it seems like we are really starting to lose grasp of the spirit of gift giving, even at a very young age now. -
@kaliopey:
That stinks and is tough. I remember looking at all the gear lists and baby must haves when I was pregnant and thinking, "how are we going to afford all of this?". It was really stressful and it really brought home the point that my life and priorities were changing dramatically. Buh bye super fancy haircuts every six weeks, hello cases of diapers and wipes.I totally get the disappointment that your baby shower isn't going to help offset those costs. One thing that really helped us out was taking friends up on their offers to loan us stuff, as well as getting stuff off of Craigslist.
I'm sorry you're bummed out- I hope your week gets better.
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I meant to add earlier that you will probably find you treasure all the handmade things. I ended up returning a bunch of blankets that people bought of my registry because I got so many handmade things. I was absolutely blown away by how creative people were and they are much better than what I registered for. I also got quite a few gift cards as I got closer to my due date and hopefully you will, too.
It's obviously the thought that counts but it can be overwhelming when you think of all the stuff you have to get. As @Mae: said, babies really need very little in the beginning.
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Babies need very little. Each child is also different. We bought our crib from Craigslist, car seat from my sister, pnp from my sister, chair from my Aunt, jumper from a friend. Take people up on their offers to loan items or you can find nice stuff used. If your gender neutral esthetic is important to you that may not work. I got so many handmade items, which comes from a generous and thoughtful place, a registry is just a suggestion people can gift whatever they want. Seriously buy some kimono tops, a few swaddles, diapers and something for your baby to sleep in. Pick up other things as you need them. Return what you don't need for gift cards to keep on hand for when those needs arrive.
Watch the documentary Babies- it's a good reminder that children are raised all over the world with very little.
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You may be surprised after you have your baby what gifts you use/like. I received a pink rock n play despite the fact that someone had already purchahsed the gender neutral one off our registry. Turns out having two rock n plays was a blessing, because I need to put DD down when I switch sides nursing, and I will BF on two different floors in the house. It isn't my favorite thing to look at but I am so glad we have it!
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I TOTALLY get where you are coming from. My shower is Saturday and only a couple things have been purchased from the registry. We are revealing the gender at the shower, so I'm not sure if people will still be getting clothes. I'm bummed about the lack of registry action and am just hoping people get something! It's not that I need the stuff, more that I bought really nice things for all my friends and family when they had their showers and was hoping they would reciprocate. Anyway, I understand how you feel and am sad that people aren't taking the time to check the registry I worked so hard on.
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Thank you to everyone who took time to respond. It's nice to hear from those who have had a similar experience. All of you are right, especially those who reminded me that I need to be grateful for the handmade items, even if they are not practical or necessarily my taste. I myself love to make things by hand for friends and family, and though I try to make things I think suits them and is useful, I may have been wrong (and they may have cherished it despite that).
I am very grateful for all of our loved ones who drove many miles to celebrate with us or sent a gift in their absence. It also means a lot that they spent time making or buying gifts (though they didn't have to). We are very blessed that our little one is already so loved.
I will return duplicates and exchange items that may have been purchased in the wrong color or pattern. I will learn to cherish the handmade items. I will try not to stress about all of the unpurchased registry items. We can look for second-hand big ticket items, use gift cards, and wait to purchase anything that is not a necessity.
Thanks again to everyone who took the time to read and respond. I found all of your input very valuable and humbling.
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@kaliopey: xo. It's going to be great Mama!
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@kaliopey: So glad to hear from you! Don't forget to check out consignment sales. JBF (or just between friends) usually has a fall consignment sale. You can pick up some used gear and clothing for a great price. Plus, they usually allow first time moms to shop early. There should be a JBF sale local to your area. Best of luck to you.
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I understand your feeling, you don't want to be ungrateful but you receive a lot of stuff you don't necessarily need. Having a girl I ended up with a LOT of ruffles/pink/princess/ect. attire. Some I returned, some I kept, but it was pretty well known that I'm not a pink/ruffle type person. I returned what I didn't need and then used the credit toward stuff I did need, but in the end it didn't matter. Those homemade gifts are great to save for your son to pass on to his kids, my most cherished gift is a quilt my daughter's great great grandma made before passing way. It doesn't match but I could care less who else can say she's got something made just for her by hee GG Grandma?
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