Among my friends and family, making a point of how much money you have/how big your house is/how expensive your vacations are is considered a massive faux pas! It's akin to walking into a room full of strangers and screaming out your political views or religion or favorite sex position. Or maybe more offensive. 
I'm always surprised when I see/hear people discussing it. But I realize this might be regional/cultural? Am I alone in this?
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@JoJoGirl: I think for us, it mostly comes up with two groups of people: close friends who feel comfortable enough to ask, or nosy friends and acquaintances.
ETA: I just realized some of it may be cultural... most of my nosy friends who have asked about money are from countries where talking about money is considered normal.
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I mean, it depends on the situation and who I guess.
We talk about money, etc with both our families. But not bragging ever! Mostly to complain how expensive everything is, haha.
I'm pretty open with money talk with some of my close friends since we rant about things together. And in specific situations like our friends were looking at houses by us, and another friend was asking me about delivery/hospital bills, I gave them all my details to help them.
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@mrbee: You forgot the third group. Braggarts. I know a special few
I think money can be discussed tactfully, though.
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most of our friends do not discuss money but we have a few that constantly talk about their purchases and salaries.
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I just realized I don't know how much any of our close friends make at their jobs, how much their houses cost, etc. And that's a good thing, what would be the point?
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@blackbird: Oh ha, good one!
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DH and I know what our friends paid for their homes and we have shared that info as well. I will share general salary info if asked and don't feel too weird about it.
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I couldn't tell you how much any of my friends make as a salary. But when someone is making a big financial decision we'll talk openly to help each other out. So a friend's husband was recently considering a job change and she told us all it would be a 10% raise without telling us the specific number. Or if someone is buying or selling a house we'll talk about numbers. But only if the person whose financial situation it is brings it up first.
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@JoJoGirl: i think there's a way to do it tastefully that's ok. but to just blatantly blurt out how incredibly and filthy rich you are sounds stupid.
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@mrbee: Yes! That makes total sense. Was thinking about it mostly cause I was off Monday and bumped into a neighbor's au pair at the playground. She is from another country and was straight up telling me what she makes, how it compares to her au pair friends etc. Realized it was SO unusual here to have that kind of conversation. Although in that context, it was so helpful in case we ever go that route, haha. They're cheap!
@blackbird: Yes that's the worst. My brother is incredibly wealthy and also ridiculously down-to-earth. He would *never* let on how much money he has, nor would anybody ever guess it from knowing him because he lives so modestly. I guess this may also be my personal family culture. I don't know.
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@MoonMoon: Same here. I don't know that stuff about my friends. No one asks that stuff about us, either. Except my FIL, but I just let DH have those discussions with him about that, lol.
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It's not talked about but openly but it's pretty easy to figure out based on real estate prices, cars, vacations, etc. I work in tax as and I'm used to discussing money because I prepare lots of wealthy individuals tax returns.
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Yeah, I think talking about money, especially if that’s basically all you talk about, is frowned pretty much everywhere! (except maybe online?)
It’s usually pretty obvious real quick when a braggy type person asks a question solely for the benefit of bragging vs. when a normal person asks a normal question. I wish people who do thinly veiled bragging understood this.
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I avoid talking about money with my family. My mom has weird views on money and it would get awkward, if anything I make a point to mention that we aren't rolling in money because I think she feels like anyone who can pay all of their bills on time is rich...
With friends though I don't mind mentioning things like I hired a house cleaner for $100 or what our water bill was (both came up today) but we certainly don't talk about annual salary. Even big purchases are still fair game but I think we all shy away from things like how much money are you saving or what are you putting away for retirement or do you have consumer debt.
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@Dandelion: lol! I guess it could be slightly different with family anyway, since sometimes we actually have financial relationships with them etc
One of my friends mentioned that sending her twins to daycare is similar to paying for college, which was really interesting. She didn't have to use specific numbers to get the point across, nor was she bragging. So it can be a natural part of conversations without being into awkward territory, I guess.
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@MoonMoon: @yoursilverlining: Yeah I think it's more the bragging that gets on my last nerve. What exactly are you trying to prove, you know? Discussing "OMG I'm dying by how expensive daycare is for two" is certainly not awkward, I don't think.
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@MoonMoon: My FIL is just nosey, lol
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Being a braggy douche about money or anything else is always frowned upon. But for the most part it is discussed matter-of-factly as any other topic would be (with good friends or with family).
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@BandDmommy: Oh I disagree with that. Some people choose to live well below their means, and others choose to live well above their means with debt up to their eyeballs. Outward appearances almost never tell the whole story.
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@Truth Bombs: I know most of our neighbors job titles and industries, since I've worked corporate accounting, I have a good idea what their salary is based on their field and job title.
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I pretty much don't like talking about money with anyone including family. Maybe about things like: "I can't believe that ______ costs ___ at Whole Foods!" Other than that, I really don't like to talk about these things with anyone. I am an intensely private person though.
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I think it depends on the situation and how close the friendship is.
Generally, we don't really talk about salary, but do discuss home prices, daycare costs, vacation costs etc (when asked). I don't find it offensive but personally don't ask for specifics. A lot of our friends are in the education or public service so overall we do have a sense of what we each make, though.
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Only when it's relevant and none of my friends know how much I make and I don't know how much they make.
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In the NY metropolitan area I think it is normal to discuss the cost of things. When I lived in the city, it was totally normal to be asked what you paid in rent, which I think takes some people by surprise. Most people just want to make sure they aren't being ripped off. Most money matters are not discussed unless the person is really close to me.
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We don't discuss salaries, what we paid for big purchases like a car, that sort of thing. But we absolutely do share the cost of things in terms of bargains ("I just ordered North Face jackets for the kids at this amazing price") or feeling ripped off ("I couldn't find a parking spot and had to spend $20 to put the car in a garage!") it's kind of a way to bond over our urban hunter/gather triumphs, and commiserate over our perceived injustices the expense of city life.
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@BandDmommy: Yes I can also do a good estimate based on job title/company if it's an industry where I have clients. I'm just saying spending habits(homes, cars, vacations, wearing fancy labels) aren't really a reliable source of information.
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I talk with my friends about money problems all the time. We don't specifically talk about incomes, savings, etc. But most of my friends have the same socioeconomic status (firmly middle class) so there's isn't much bragging going on.
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Depends on context and purpose. I find wealth flaunting pretty tacky and embarrassing. For me, it's usually a hint of a one-dimensional individual, so I tend to peace out on those conversations and people. I've got friends all over the financial map, but I guess we have more interesting things to talk about.
I mean, I'll totally gripe about the high cost of living with local friends and family, and I certainly don't mind someone asking the cost of, say, our childrens' museum membership, if they're interested in purchasing the same. If a neighbor is concerned about a leak and inquires about our water bill, no sweat. That sort of thing is commonplace and harmless.
But unless you got a super sweet deal you want to share with me, I don't really care how much your haircut, car upholstery, or living room furniture cost. That is when it becomes pointless and obnoxious.
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@Truth Bombs: @BandDmommy: I guess the question is less about *knowing* how much someone makes and more about someone trying to *tell* you how much they make (because it's so much) - very different!
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We don't talk much about money with friends or family. The only time I really see it coming up is if they are interested in a place we went to on vacation and asked how much we paid per night. But other than that, we rarely talk about it.
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Most people that I know with a lot of money (and i am talking generational wealth, in the hundreds of millions) do not talk about money, ever. In fact, they go through great pains to hide it.
I personally think it's a good idea to talk about finances and that can be done without specific salary or bank balance information.
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@looch: Wow, you know lots of people with nine figure wealth?
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@JoJoGirl: Yeah in my friend group that's just called being a douche
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@Truth Bombs: I definitely wonder how some people pay for their lifestyles. But I don't worry about it since its none of my business.
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In my circles, people talk about rent prices since just about everyone I know is a foreigner and we all want to know if prices in our city are reasonable. People sometimes talk about vacation costs, but mainly in terms of finding deals. No one talks about salary or how much they paid for material goods.
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It does seem like people like talking about money!
I’m personally not that comfortable with it because I feel like my views on money and spending are not normal. I like to save so I have nothing to comment about when people talk about spending and then it turns into them convincing me to spend money on something like a vacation.
I somewhat get the feeling that we are a spending society.
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We dance around it. Most of my friends have a general sense of how everyone is doing financially based on what they do for a living and where (and how big) their houses are. No one ever discusses salary outright but we occasionally talk about housing prices or taxes or daycare costs. Everyone is usually pretty good about not bragging though. The more well off folks talk about expensive dinners and cars sometimes, but they shut it down when some of our less fortunate friends come around. We have some friends with family money as well, and that basically never gets discussed.
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@mrbee: I wouldn't say a ton, a small handful. And most of them, you would literally have no idea.
I personally am not among them!
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@looch: Wow, it's amazing they've kept their old money for so long!! I'm in tech so everyone I know who is wealthy is new money.
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