-
@raintreebee: I'm sorry for your BFN. And don't beat yourself up over the jealousy you felt toward your friend. I know that's hard. My brother and SIL got pregnant on their first or second month, and when I found out, we'd been trying for 8 months and had just had a chemical pregnancy, and I basically couldn't even handle the news. Then they went for their first u/s at 10 weeks and the baby had passed away at 9 weeks. I cannot tell you how incredibly awful I felt about the jealousy/resentment I felt towards them for their "luck." But I really think that's a natural reactions when you are having struggles ttc, and even though I still have twinges of deep guilt about that, I just try to remind myself that is such a normal reaction and no one else who's never walked a mile in the shoes of someone struggling to have a baby could ever understand.
-
@Tidybee: thank you so much for the well wishes! It's wonderful to hear someone who was in the same boat as me and now as a little one! I'm not opposed to Clomid, so if that's what will be successful for me then so be it
@raintreebee: I'm so sorry about your BFN
-
@raintreebee: sorry about your BFN. Those feelings of jealousy are SO natural and so many of us have been there. I'm sorry for your friend's loss.
To everyone, I just wanted to say I hope that we all keep getting answers, keep moving forward with treatments and tests, keep finding our patience in the interim, and end up with snuggly little babies pretty soon. *Hugs*
-
@raintreebee: So sorry to hear.
-
@Grace: I hope you don't have to wait 4-6 months. Best of luck getting in with a regular OB/GYN to keep the process moving.
@BabyBear: Sorry to hear that you are still dealing with the devastation from Sandy. Glad to hear that you can still get you appointments in before the end of the year.
@Mrs.Someone: Hope everything worked out for you this weekend and that you enjoyed the parties. How was the baby shower? Also glad to hear that your acupuncturist was able to help you relax.
@raintreebee: Thanks for relating, and for thinking of me as I approach this surgery. I'm thinking of you too. I want to believe it's still too early for you...so I will still hold on to the hope that it was too early to know. But it's good that you have thought through your next steps. That's amazing that you're working towards tenure!
And as far as your friend goes, I'm so sorry to hear about her loss. I know it must be hard working through the feelings you had about her pregnancy. Just know that every feeling is valid. I was upset back in the spring when my sister told me she was pregnant. I was equally upset when I learned that she lost her baby too. This process is hard to go through. HUGS to you...
@Tidybee: Thank you for the ray of hope
Congratulations on your baby girl @marionberry: Yes to "snuggly little babies"
Did I see on another thread that AF arrived for you? -
AF arrived today, my most happy reception of AF ever!
Now I get to move closer to surgery and more answers. Here's to forward motion.
-
@sweettooth: Yep, sadly. I still haven't gotten my results back from my OB on my cd 21 ovulation test or my dh's semen analysis (even though we know the results are pretty good) so I'm worried I won't be able to do anything next cycle. It's frustrating. Calling tomorrow I think to see if I can get any info.
-
@marionberry: {hugs!} it's all so frustrating. Hope you can get some information tomorrow.
-
@sweetooth: It's not often I say 'yay' for AF, but YAY
Glad you are moving forward and in the meantime I hope AF keeps her visit short and sweet I am smack dab in the middle of my tww and it is kiiiilllliiiinnngg me. I hate thinking every little thing is a symptom, because I *always* think that, and then feel like an idiot two weeks later when it's clear that I was wrong. But at the same time I don't want to lose hope either. I think I just need to find better ways to distract myself....
-
@raintreebee: No, I'm in Canada. I think the wait is so long here, just because we only have the one clinic in my city. They are have postings for two more doctors, so if they can find some, hopefully wait times will go down. There are doctor shortages here, because they can be paid much more if they go to the US.
I'm sorry about the BFN. That really sucks. And also about your friend. It would be normal to feel guilty, but it's not like you went out of your way to be mean to her. You were just having a hard time coping. It's allowed. Hugs.
@Tidybee: Thanks for the encouragement! It's so easy to get caught up in the process that I forget that there is a goal that will make it all worth while.
-
@sweetooth - The baby shower was actually nice. Just an afternoon with the girls, eating and chatting. Then some present opening. There was minimal baby talk, luckily, and even though I didn't know most of the people I had a nice time. Thanks for asking
Oh, what a Monday. I am drowning in work, since people realized its a holiday week and they want things done NOW! TTC-wise, I thought I ovulated yesterday (positive OPK, on schedule, and correct CM signs). But my temp didn't rise this morning... I read that its possible I O'd later in the day/overnight and the progesterone didn't have much time to rise my temp. Confusing! I'll see what the signs are when I check CM and take another OPK this afternoon.
-
@raintreebee: Very sorry about the BFN and this IUI not working out. I think doing one more with injectibles could be helpful because if you have to do IVF later you'll have had a chance to work out the kinks with the injectible meds. Please don't feel guilty for what happened to your friend! You didn't cause it and certainly wouldn't have wished for that to happen to her.
I'm just waiting for AF here. But I'm also having thoughts these last few days that I don't know if I want to do this anymore. After the disappointment with the 2 REs and feeling like we're not making any progress and knowing IVF is the only thing that will work, I'm totally losing steam. DH's family is beyond unsupportive of us and I don't want to be part of his family anymore, and sometimes I think about leaving him so I can get away from his family. I'm still angry that no one told me about his infertility before we got married.
-
@mrs.someone: I'm sure you'll ovulate in the next 24 hours or so. My temp doesn't go up for like 2-3 days after my positive OPK each time. Good luck!
@spaniellove: I'm so sorry. This stuff with him and his family has got to be hard. Maybe take some time to really think it all through before you do anything rash...although you don't seem like the rash type. Maybe you guys just need a break from babymaking to focus on your relationship and then you can go back to the first RE when you've had a little break? -
@spaniellove: Awww sweetie! This TTC stuff is soooo hard. I've had days where I am so down and say "I don't know if I can keep doing this," the ups, downs, and further downs. I've had some breaks (primarily because my meds didn't work) but those TWW without the roller coaster helped me a little. Also having a new plan for the following month has improved my outlook. Are you and DH in agreement about your next steps? How do you truly feel about IVF? Is adoption something you all would consider? I am thinking of you and hoping that things look up by tomorrow!
-
@marionberry - I think I O'd today, maybe early on. I took another OPK and it was very negative too. Only time will tell of course!
@spaniellove - Sorry to hear you're having a hard time
Maybe find a family therapist to talk to to help get your relationship in a good place again?
-
@marionberry: It's like we've been on a perpetual break since we started, since we know all of our efforts are worthless. His family has been hurtful to us in every situation and it has only gotten worse with the infertility. They are really the only thing we've ever fought about in our relationship.
@kentuckygirl: We're in agreement that we should stick with the RE and try not to get suckered into IUI. It worries me that we only really have one or two chances at the most to do IVF and if it doesn't work that would be the end because we're not open to adoption for personal reasons. I hate that I basically had to go into TTC knowing I would only get that many chances.
-
@spaniellove: Sounds like maybe you guys need time without his family in your life. They sound really cancerous and that's not helping your stress level. Having one to two chances has got to be scary, but my stepmom had IVF and I have two wonderful brothers thanks to it. It's expensive but it works! And I get how unfair it all feels. I was sure that due to my husband's age I'd be going into TTC at a disadvantage too.
-
Hello, all you lovely ladies!
I'm sorry it took me a little while to get over here, I already posted this on the main boards but felt you guys deserved some special attention.
In case you missed it, my IUI worked and I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant. However, it is with multiples, which is why I held out on posting for so long. I'm sorry to have been so MIA.
I have, however, been silently stalking this board and rooting on each of you in your journeys. I will definitely be more active now that my secret is out and will be happy to offer encouragement and share my experiences, if it's relevant at all.
Here's what I really need to say:
There were so many times during my process that I felt hopeless, where I really believed that it just might never happen for me. I struggled with this so much over the last few months and it was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. Even though it is so hard, please do not give up hope. Your patience is certainly being tested, more than many people could bear, but I am 100% confident that it will happen for each of you, even if takes an unfairly long time. I am wishing you all peace with the process, as hard as it is to accept and thinking good, positive thoughts for every one of you.xoxoox
-
@alie: thanks
normally I wouldn't want cheers for AF either Hope your TWW flies by. Maybe the holidays will help. Get distracted by turkey, stuffing, gravy...mmmm!@Mrs.Someone: Minimal baby talk at a baby shower - sounds l like my kind of shower!
Glad to hear you had a good time. And sorry about the confusing days of ovulation. I really wish it was easier to pinpoint!@spaniellove: {hughughugs!!!} I'm sorry you're having to deal with family negativity on top of the stress of TTC. I would be angry too about the whole infertility info behind withheld. Does your online coach help you through things like this? Can you and your husband avoid all family during the holidays and focus on the two of you? (sometimes that sounds like a dream!
I know it has to be hard thinking that if you do go with IVF that you only have 2 chances. Taking the time you need to get to a positive place before you start that journey is a must. Maybe take the rest of the year to just prepare for the next steps?
-
I treated myself to a donut today. Right after I bought birth control pills. Yeah. I have to start popping them to prepare for this surgery...to make SURE I'm not preggo when they go in my uterus to see wuzup. I can't tell you how sad I was to spend money on BCP right now. Pisses me off.
Oh, and as happy as I am for my best friend, she just gave birth to her second child yesterday. The day I got my period, my best friend had a baby. Life is crazy. Trying to stay positive, and not turn into the dozens of donuts I want to eat to get through the emotional side of this. Bleh.
-
@Trailmix: HUGS! Thanks for stopping in on this thread. SO happy for you and the success of your IUI. We're here for you as you continue on your journey - to motherhood!!!
-
Yay, congrats @Trailmix! We've been rooting for you too
@sweetooth: sorry to hear about having to purchase BCP. Frusturating for sure, but luckily its on the road to figuring out and fixing the problem.
-
@Trailmix: I'm so happy for you! Thank you so much for your sweet words. If you don't mind me asking, were you happy when you found out about the multiples or more scared?
-
@Trailmix: Congrats! I suspected and hoped that was you posting anonymously! Is multiples twins? Triplets? I'm so excited to hear that you're at this point and am wishing you a very healthy & happy 9 months!
@sweetooth: I am meeting with my coach tomorrow. I think with MIL, it's not a matter of avoiding her during any specific time; it's really about both of us not having any contact with her whatsoever, and DH doesn't get that. There's only so much a coach or therapist can do, I think - I can't solve his family issues, and his mother is the queen of manipulation. She knows that when she says she needs him he will come running even though he tells me I am his first priority.
-
My husband and I had a nice talk last night. We're going to do a natural IUI this cycle at the urologist, which is what we did two cycles ago. If it doesn't work, we will stop seeing the urologist and go to a RE for either a monitored IUI or IVF. It will depend on what they recommend. I don't want to do IVF, I really hope it doesn't come to that.
-
@spaniellove: That is so hard...behavior like that is ingrained. I don't know what I would do in your shoes. I think the only thing I would know how to do is keep talking to my husband, and if necessary bring in a therapist (if he's open to it). Maybe he would listen to a 3rd party? I'm a huge fan of removing toxic people from my life - but if it was a family member I know it would be hard. Maybe if you cut off all interactions with your MIL, your husband will get the message?
-
@Leialou: Glad to hear you had a nice talk about your next steps with your husband
Fingers crossed for you that you can achieve a happy pregnancy in the way that you are comfortable with. I wish that for everyone.
-
@Trailmix: omg I am SOSO excited for you!! Wishing you all the best
-
@Trailmix: thanks for your sweet message! Your story does give me hope! I posted a thread asking about injectables and I would appreciate any info you feel comfortable sharing (there or here). Thanks! And Congrats again!!!!! I am so very excited for you!!!
-
Thanks, everyone, you guys are so gracious and kind...
@Leialou I was a little bit of both! Even though I had thought it might be nice to have more than one (you know, for efficiency's sake, haha), I didn't actually think it would happen...So when we first found out, we were pretty shocked (I even had to lay down because I felt dizzy), ultimately, I'm happy about it, even though the reality of having more than once baby is slightly terrifying...
@Spaniellove Thanks! I mentioned this earlier but I'm keeping the details of the multiples private for now. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude but I just can't share yet. Hopefully in a few more weeks, I'll feel more comfortable disclosing the details. Also, I'm really sorry that you have been having such a hard time with your ILs. Is couples counselling an option for you and your husband?
-
@sweetooth: I'm also a believer of cutting off toxic people. IMO it's comparable to an addiction of sorts - some people can handle moderation, and some people need to abstain completely because even one drop sends everything spiraling out of control. MIL is one of those forces where even the briefest contact poisons our relationship, and it's such a shame because otherwise we are the best of friends and love that we're such a good team.
-
@Trailmix: I can absolutely understand why you'd want to keep it to yourself for now. Please know that I'm totally cheering for all of you! DH will be home when I have my next session with my coach so I might see if he wants to sit down with us for a few minutes...
-
@Trailmix: I'm so so so very happy for you!! I was a bit worried when you went MIA, but now I know it was for the very best reason! (and I'm totally happy to finally solve the mystery of "nervouspreggo"!)
-
@Trailmix: Congratulations, I'm so happy for you!
So guys I'm totally freaking out. Short story - I'm pregnant. For the moment.
Long story - I had some spotting two days ago at 11DPO and didn't know whether I should be happy and think it was implantation spotting or upset because usually I spot the day before AF. I was also upset at the thought it might be AF since it wouldn't have been a great LP length.
So I waited all day yesterday for it to start, thinking every time I went to the bathroom that would be it. Finally around 9:00 I noticed more heavy spotting mixed with some red and I figured after I went to bed it would turn into full flow and be CD1. The RE had told me in order to do another round of clomid, I'd need a CD3 ultrasound and b/w. But we were supposed to be away already for the holiday that day (Wednesday), so I called the nurse line to see if I could do it on CD2 instead.
I was a little surprised this morning when i checked on AF and it didn't seem to have picked up. But i didnt think too much of it. The dr. called me back and said I could come in if I could get there by 9:45. So I ran down there and got the ultrasound and b/w. I was happy they could squeeze me in and figured I'd be getting a call about where to send my clomid rx.
A couple hours later the nurse called and gave me the crazy news. I am technically pregnant with an HCG of 6!! She said they were pretty concerned about the number though, coupled with the fact that I'd been having some bleeding. She also said that there are three possible outcomes 1)pregnancy develops fine. It is pretty early for a beta at 12DPO. 2)could end up as a chemical pregnancy, 3) could be ectopic.
So I have to go for another beta on Friday to see how things are progressing. As of right now the bleeding has stopped. I really want to be hopeful, but unless I get a super positive test before then, it's going to be really hard to make it to Friday.
-
@MrsCB: Congrats! That must be exciting and yet confusing! I'm keeping my fingers and everything else crossed that everything is okay and your numbers are just rising slowly for some reason. Were you charting? Is there a chance you ovulated later than you thought?
-
@MrsCB: oh wow. I hope this ends up in a healthy pregnancy for you!
-
@MrsCB: eek congrats!!! i hope the bleeding stays away and that your hcg keeps rising! will keep my fingers/toes/eyes/etc crossed for you!!
-
@Trailmix: Ahhhhh GIRL!!!!!!! That fan-freakin'-tastic!!!! I am so so so happy for you!!!! I hope that everything goes absolutely wonderful!
@MrsCB: Oh my gosh, what a day!! I am going to give you congratulations (!), even though you're still crossing you fingers and I'm going to pray really hard that it's just too early.
I love success stories!!!
-
@trailmix: super congrats! can't wait to hear how many.
@mrscb: that's great news. I really hope everything progresses normally.So finally got the full results and found out we have a high percentage of white blood cells in DH's sample. It can signal an infection and so they've given him antibiotics. We're hoping it's just that and not some other issue with his prostate...because that could signal big health problems and definite fertility issues. I'm a bit freaked but trying to be calm. The meds probably will make it so we can't get pregnant this month so I'm not temping and just going to use the monitor for 2 tries this month, knowing they probably won't work. It'll be a nice break for the holidays I guess. Man I would love to finally hear some good news.
-
@Trailmix: WOOHOO!! Its about time someone got a BFP. Double congratulations to you!
@MrsCB: Omg, I will be sending you all kinds of positive thoughts.
@marionberry: So sorry to hear it. My husband always tells me to not think the worst. Easier said than done.
@sweetooth: Man, why does AF show at the most inconvenient times? Too cruel on fate's part. Doughnuts are necessary in a situation like yours.
@spaniellove: I want to second sweetooth's suggestion that you guys might benefit from counseling, since it seems like you need a set of ground rules for dealing with his family. Perhaps a neutral party could assist in setting these up.I am officially nearing the end of 16 days post IUI and have nothing to show for it. All BFNs and no sign of AF. Had a consultation with RE to discuss next steps today. Seems likely that we are going to not do anymore IUIs and go ahead with IVF in February. Not 100% sure about the skipping IUIs though. Hubby does not want me on these meds when the chances of IUI succeeding are so low. My concern is that because of work stuff, I would have to wait three months for an IVF cycle. So my thought was that why not do one more IUI but this time with injectables in the interim. One concern is that I may have cysts and overstimulated ovaries, which is delaying my period. That would derail the IUI. Anyway, I have until tomorrow to decide. Confusing! Part of me wouldn't mind a break from all of this, but another part of me would feel like giving up. DH just thinks my body needs a break.
Now I get to move closer to surgery and more answers. Here's to forward motion.
Glad to hear you had a good time. And sorry about the confusing days of ovulation. I really wish it was easier to pinpoint!
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite3
2958 comments