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Boo, it's blocked at my work! I'll have to read it later!

i like that this is written by a dad--shows that men and women can support each other (since the typical image is of a mom with a screaming child).

ETA: The comments are great, too . . . especially the one that states that parenting isn't about controlling your children, it's about teaching them. :fistpump:

I think it just goes to show you that you never fully know and you should be really careful in what you say.

I like the post, it makes a good point

However I will add that I never threw a tantrum in public nor did any of my siblings, my dad would give us that look that and we didnt dare act out, so I do think it is possible to control older children (over 3) in public

@Mrsbells: Agree. I think my parents are sort of those people they talk about in the article that are older with grown children who judge people whose kids melt down in public. That just didn't happen for them (or rather, when it did they shut it down FAST). My parents didn't believe in taking us out to non-children's restaurants (i.e. anything except fast food or like, pizza hut) until we were old enough to sit quietly. And I can remember (vaguely) being a little kid and starting to melt down in a store and my mom would just pick me up and leave immediately. I think it is sort of just a different philosophy than most people have now. She sort of felt that kids must behave in public and if they weren't behaving you take them out of public ASAP regardless of personal inconvenience. The tone of the article was more: Meh kids melt down so why not in public too? Better the mom not be inconvenienced by leaving than worry about disturbing those around her.

@Mae: It is not about inconveniencing the parent, it is about not giving in to what your child wants, which is either something off the shelves or to leave the store. If your kid just wants to leave and they throw a fit and you leave, you've taught them that's the technique they should use to get out of the store ASAP.

LOVE!

@Foodnerd81: I hear you. A few weeks ago LO had a total meltdown at the checkout counter. I could totally see myself being judged, but what was I supposed to do? Leave my groceries while they are on the checkout belt? People need to realize that they are toddlers or babies and you can't control their behavior all the time. Especially a child under the age of 3.

@mrskc: @Mrs. Yoyo: I actually LOLed at that part! It's.So.True.

@littlek: I think my parents are aware that there are special circumstances where it is unavoidable. And also, they're not rude people so they would never do what the guy in the article did and say anything to/near the person. I think everyone can probably (hopefully!) agree that regardless of your opinion, keeping it to yourself in these situations is obviously the tactful way to go. That being said, I think my parents' frustration that they express amongst themselves (and to me) is that they know how they raised us, which was generally to keep from imposing us on others as much as humanly possible. And they made all efforts to keep us out of public when there was any chance of an issue. And they also had the death stare thing going. They see that as very different from how they see my cousins raising their kids, and people in public in general now-- where our generation seems to feel more like kids will be kids, and we're not going to be too concerned about them freaking out in public because it is what they do. And especially in restaurants (their primary pet peeve. Mine as well as I was a server). My only real point in bringing this up/agreeing with Mrsbells is that I can see the point of view of the "older parents" the guy roundly dismisses. Because I do think that sometimes it is not a lack of memory but rather a different philosophy that led to different experiences. And they are entitled to their opinion (so long as they keep it to themselves).

Great blog post. We've been taking LO to more public, social places, so tantrums are brewing. We attended a birthday party last weekend. LO had a meltdown right around cake time because he was eating, playing, and overtired. We went into the women's bathroom and changed him, all was well. One of my friend's friend said something interesting to us. She said, "You tune out or are no longer bothered by other kids having tantrums in public when you have kids." It was so true. She didn't even notice LO's meltdown when we talked to her. My friend noticed because she was in party mode. At Target twice in one weekend, we were aware of kids having tantrums, but didn't really notice.

I agree about the older parents thing. My mom acknowledges how bad we were and could be. My MIL instead has such a warped view of DH's childhood that I don't think I've heard her mention tantrums, etc. ever. I feel like I need to write down a list on how to act when my LO and future sibling have kids, so I don't become like the judging older parent.

@Foodnerd81: C also just had a major meltdown at Target, right after I read this article!

I love the post. Nobody likes to hear screaming, but that's not even on my top 5 list of things I hate when I'm at a store. People who scream into their cell phones, people who are blatantly rude to retail employees, people who make a mess and don't clean it up, etc. I'd rather these people stay home than a mom and a cranky 2 year old!

@Freckles: I feel like people think I'm defending the rude dude and I'm totally not. I was only making a comment about the seemingly total disdain the author had for the opinions of anyone with grown children who might have done things differently. And in any case, I think the train is obviously a different situation. You've got to get from place A to B. Public transportation is an absolute necessity that can't really be avoided or scheduled to meet your LO's schedule of course. It's sort of like babies on an airplane. No one WANTS to be next to a baby on an airplane, but at the same time I think most people realize that there is nothing that the parent can really do to make this situation better and its really just best to try to tune out have a bit of empathy.

I am in the "technically don't have kids yet, so I shouldn't comment" spot right now but I feel like there is a huge difference between a baby/toddler who is having a meltdown and a kid who is running WILD in the store and being obnoxious... I absolutely catch myself judging people whose kids are not simply upset/tired but are literally running around the store/doctors office waiting room or carrying on in the restaurant like they're at the park... huge pet peeve.... but usually it's quiet judging...