If you had to pick one, which do you think is best/ideal, 2 or 3 years between children?
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I was three grades apart from my brother and it was awesome. We were always close. My kids will be 2 years 10 months apart/ 3 grades apart. I'm excited for the age difference.
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@Alba4: I am three years younger than my sister and she almost seemed to be transitioning out of a stage when I was getting into it. My little brother is 2 years younger than me, so we were playmates a lot and some of my fondest memories include digging up things in the backyard with him. Now, my sister and I are the best of friends. It's hard to go "wrong!"
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12 months has honestly been easier than 24 months and 36 months.
Being pregnant for two years straight sucked but both babies nap all the time and I feel rested. When the three year old is home is when it gets hard. -
I really like the 2 year age gap, but I don't know any different. The kids are really close and pretty much do everything together. It's also nice to know that dual drop offs won't last for too long - it's on the forefront of my mind since N is going to Kindergarten this fall! We also got in a lot of dual naps and the kids got on the same schedule pretty quickly bc of the closer age gap.
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My girls are just under 3 yrs apart and so far it's been ideal. As you know I had a few losses that had they been healthy pregnancies, and I would have had 2 under 2. I'm just grateful for the way it worked out...I don't think I'm a 2 under 2 kinda mom.
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I would have probably picked 3 years, but mine are going to be 2 years so I'm hoping 2 ends up great! I was the middle child, 5 years older than one sister and 4 years younger than the other. So both 2 and 3 years seem pretty close by comparison.
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My actual ideal was 5 - 6 years. But judging at the rate we're going, we'll be lucky to have even one.
If this pregnancy is still good, probably more likely a 3 - 4 year gap.
The reason is that I have a great relationship with my sibling 6 years my junior, and have seen similar dynamics between cousins and other siblings with a similar age gap. Over 8+ years difference, they seem to drift apart with age.
Too close, and it ends up being competitive with some resentment from childhood. -
I like 2 years but don't think 2 or 3 years apart will be very easy! I've heard that 1 year and 4+ years are best as far as easiness goes! I am 3.5 and 4.5 years between my sisters and wasn't really in the same stages as either of them when we were younger, so I'd choose 2 year gap over 3.
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I didn't vote because I think 2.5 year is ideal for me
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I think 22-26 months is perfect so I voted 2 years.
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We are about 3 5 years between our girls and it is a great gap for us. I just did not feel ready to try again until DD1 was 2.5 and we were fortunate to get pregnant relatively quickly. I would have even been happy with a 4 year gap too.
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Loved the 3 year age gap vs. 2. LO1 was 3 years, 1 months when my second was born. LO2 was 2 years, 1 month when my third was born.
When my second was born, I loved that my 3 year old was independent but loved to help. When my third was born, my second was potty training and it was really difficult to give her my time when I was nursing on demand. She also had some pretty big tantrums and I felt like I didn't get to hold my infant as much because my two year old needed me (which was fine - my third was okay but I felt guilty). She had a ton of accidents and potty training took much longer than it did with my first. Overall, the 2 year age gap was more stressful!
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Less than 18 months between pregnancies would increase my risk of preterm labor again (which really, why did no one mention that when they told us it was okay to get pregnant again 3 cycles after R?), so we'll have at least a bit over 2 years, probably closer to 3 if we decide to have another. I'm hoping to keep it less if possible, as I'd like them to be close. I would NOT want 2 under 2 though.
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Well I've been a mom of 2 for all of 3 days now so I've got tons of experience
They are 3 years apart and so far I love it because DS3 is pretty independent, verbal and really understands everything and has been amazing with his baby brother. I hope it stays this way! I can't imagine it would have been the same when he was 2. What sucks is because of the actual years they were born, they will be 4 years apart in school and I find that too much, makes me sad. I would have preferred 2-3.
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I did 2 under 2, which was very hard, so for the next one we are planning on doing 3.
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I think they both have ups and downs. We're doing 3 years and I like it.
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I love my two year age gap but I have nothing else to compare it to. I think there are pros and cons to each spacing.
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My 2 are 22 months a part and while it has its perks, never again. lol If we go for #3, it will be closer to a 3 year gap. Kids change so much between age of 2 & 3. My son is so much more independent at 3 compared to when he was 2, that it would have made things a lot easier dealing with a newborn.
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I really love the 2 year gap! If I were planning my dream family, I'd do four kids, x2x3x2x. I'd want the 3 in the middle for a little more breathing room (no more than two at home or in college at a time).
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3! But it's all I know.
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I wanted 2.5 but got 3 and I sort of think maybe more of a gap would be better. Haha. I am starting to love 3 because they seem to be able to play now that the youngest is one and can almost walk. Hoping they will be friendly but who knows! Good luck! I am sure whatever happens it will be prefect for your family.
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I voted two years, although I think it's depends on the circumstances, and every spacing has pros and cons. We plan on shooting for a 2 to 2.5 year spacing. I like the baby stage and feel that I can handle it. My husband isn't as much of a baby person, and wants to move on to the next phase.
I'm the oldest of 3 kids. My brother is 2 years 5 months younger than me, and our youngest brother was born 2 years 9 months after that. Because of school cut off dates, my middle brother and I were 3 years apart in school, but my brothers were only 2 years apart from wax other in school. They were in a lot of the same activities as a result.
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I voted for two because that's what I wanted. My brother and I are three years apart though and have always been super close. At this point I'm just hoping for a 3.5-4 year gap. How naive I was to actually think you could plan these things
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My vote would be for 2.5 if that was an option. I can't vouch for a 3 year gap, but I can honestly say that for me a 2 year gap would've been too soon. I have a 2.5 year gap and am still amazed at how different DS is at 2.5 than at 2. They grow SO much SO fast, and looking back at his 2 year birthday, he seems like an entirely different kid.
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I think a lot hinges on the children's temperaments, so I can't really say one or the other. Pros and cons to each one!
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Mine are 2.5 years apart and life is great (aka manageable). I don't think I could do a third without a "tweener year" where I'm not breastfeeding or pregnant. Helps my sanity to have that to look forward to. LO1 picks up after himself, gets himself into carseat, and goes to school. I wanted them to be close together but that didn't happen thanks to finances and miscarriages. But if we have a third I would shoot for the same spacing now.
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I think it depends on the type of pregnancy you have..we have a 2.5 year gap and it is great. We are going to shoot for a shorter one next time because of my age. But, I think knowing how horrible my morning sickness is, I will miss out on a lot of the nice baby/toddler stage with DS if we are successful. I was such a bad mum to DD when I was pregnant, but at least she was more independent at that age and could just play. If she had been younger with more needs, we would have struggled even more.
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I dont think i am the kind of mom who would thrive with 2 under 2, so our goal was a minimum of 2.5. We'll have a 2.75 year gap and i think it will be ideal for our family. My lo has grown up in so many ways in the past few months and i think she'll be a better big sister in 6 months than she would have been a few months ago. But i think it's such a personal decision!
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Well, my second was born when the first was a month away from turning 3. Things that helped: oldest being very independent, potty trained, away at preschool two mornings a week. Things that did NOT help: dealing with a crazy 3 year old and all that drama that entails.
Despite the chaos that reigns in my household now, I would like to try for a third. That being said, due to my age and my desire to be done with pregnancy and newborns sooner rather than later, I think we will likely plan to have closer to a 2 year gap next time. So we will see!
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I always, always thought that I wanted 2 years between my kids, since there are 2 years between each of my sisters. DH is 3 years older than his brother and loved it. I thought we wanted to shoot for 2 years, but it didn't happen over here. At this point, the minimum age that's going to be between our kids is 3 years, because we can't TTC until this summer at the earliest.
I'm starting to make my peace with it. It will be cheaper at daycare, and LO is just now starting to be more helpful. Still, it's hard to change my perception of what our "ideal" family spacing would be!
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We have a 2.5 age gap and it's been a pretty smooth transition thus far... Ds1 was potty trained, in his twin bed, and started preschool. He's so independent and it definitely helps that we have one kid you can verbally reason with when caring for a newborn/infant.
If we go for maybe baby 3 though it'll likely be a smaller gap because I want to be done w the baby making/carrying phase of my life. I'm sure it will be harder but I think the smaller age gap will have perks too! My brother and I are 20 months apart and we've always been very close!
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2 year gap because nowadays the way my near 3 year old acts is way harder to handle than he was a year ago.
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I wanted my kids to be closer to 3 years apart, but they ended up being just over 2 years apart. It is challenging, especially since my oldest isn't in preschool yet, so I have both boys home with me every day. My 2 year old wants my attention and wants me to constantly play with him and entertain him. He doesn't always listen when I ask him to be quiet when his brother is sleeping, and I have to constantly watch him to make sure he doesn't hurt the baby. He will often hit him over the head with a toy or try to sit on him, etc. I'm constantly telling him no. But I think it gets easier as they both get older, and I'm hoping being close in age means they will be good friends.
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Our first were a 3 year gap and it worked out really well. DH was able to handle her "threenager" stage probably better than I could. And she was calm and mature enough to understand and appreciate the baby. At age 4 and 1, they are great together. She can watch tv in the living room by herself while I put him down for nap. She understands he's just being a baby when he knocks her stuff down or she needs to go play by herself where he can't get her stuff.
Now we are having a 2 year gap and I'm a bit more scared.
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I really like our 2 year age gap, but it certainly has its struggles--if i'm putting T down, E will barrel in and interrupt his nap. Sometimes i end up just sitting on the floor with them both climbing all over me and whining because they each want me and all I can do is offer body parts to them, lol. But they're sweet together, too. My body had the hardest time with the pregnancies, probably because I wasn't fully recovered enough for the second. I've had back pain since 3 months PP
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Mine are right around 3 years apart and I honestly can't imagine having them any closer. The difference between my daughter at 2 and 3 is like night and day, she's very independent, helpful, can do most things on her own...don't get me wrong she has her threenager moments, but i think it would have been much much harder if they were closer together.
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Right now we're planning for 2.5-3 year gap. If I want 2 I'd literally have to be pregnant next month (since I think I'm out for this month). I don't really choose it based on what's easier or harder.. I just know that I'm not ready right now and I want more time with DD and to enjoy "normalcy" for a while.
They are 3 years apart and so far I love it because DS3 is pretty independent, verbal and really understands everything and has been amazing with his baby brother. I hope it stays this way! I can't imagine it would have been the same when he was 2. What sucks is because of the actual years they were born, they will be 4 years apart in school and I find that too much, makes me sad. I would have preferred 2-3.
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