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No, it is not appropriate at all. Try to let go of those thoughts. If your doctor had any concerns about your child's weight gain they would let you know. Otherwise, just continue to encourage family meals, joyful eating, and a diverse diet.
Consider looking into Ellyn Satter's website for more tips.

BMI is not a measure of health for any human, though unfortunately it refuses to go away. as a "best practice." It's especially problematic for kids because they have so much growing to do and they change so quickly.

Short answer - disregard the BMI and weight entirely, encourage a diversity of foods, do not limit food, even if you consider it "unhealthy" (there's no such thing and it creates restrictive eating habits that create bigger body and weight management issues), and get activity where you can. Like @silva said, the book by Ellyn Satter is a gold standard in feeding kids well and effectively. The Instagram account Kids Eat in Color is also great.

Longer answer: there is no "right" body to have and the best thing we can do for our kids is encourage variety of food, activity that they love, and perhaps most importantly, keeping our talk about bodies neutral and positive, never negative. Any kind of food restriction and negative feelings about weight are the number one predictor of disordered eating as kids get older and the best we can do for them is model and encourage.

This is a topic I feel really strongly about as a lifelong large woman who's delt with a ton of body issues herself and now has a daughter who is in a larger body (despite having been born a premie and having spent the first 4 years under the growth curve). I read and try to learn a lot on this topic so that I don't pass on any food and body issues to her.

FWIW, we just had my 4 year old’s well child appointment today. They wanted DS to come in because they didn’t want him to delay the vaccines he’s due for. So, you may be able to see your dr sooner than you think. Otherwise, if you don’t feel comfortable going in, or it’s not offered, maybe you could set up a phone appointment. That way you could speak honestly to your daughter’s dr about your concerns without worrying about embarrassing her, which it sounds like you’re being super careful about. Just a thought if it’s weighing on your mind, might help to raise the concern. Good luck! She’s lucky to have such a thoughtful mama!

@Mrs. Carrot: I’m getting off topic here but just wanted to say I love this response. The subliminal messaging girls get is so powerful. The one I got pretty clearly is that I am worth more when I’m thinner. I struggle with it today and it is one of my biggest hopes not to pass that kind of stuff on. My two girls also look like they are going to have different body types so I want to work extra hard to keep it all neutral. I still hear my mom say so much body stuff that makes me cringe.

BMI was originally designed as a means of measuring populations or large groups of people so it’s a pretty sh*t and blunt measure of individual health! I also wouldn’t rely on one single weight measurement as a means of health because growth isn’t always linear.

All you can do is keep offering a good variety of nutritious tastes and textures (and that variety should include “fun” foods) and help her be active.