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I think it's both harder and easier in unexpected ways! Like, what I thought would be hard hasn't been, but what I thought would be easy hasn't been either!

Mostly, I can't believe how much I like it because before becoming a parent I was a total curmudgeon, haha. But it also makes me anxious and makes think of the bigger picture in terms of family, friends, the meaning of life, etc.

The day to day is exactly as I thought it would be, but I thought *I* would change. And I haven't. I thought I would take pleasure from different things and no longer covet the freedoms I used to enjoy because parenting would be everything I needed. But actually, I'm still me. Im just plain old me with extra responsibility, less time and food on my top. Shoulda seen that coming, I guess!

Easier by far. I think I just make easy children, so far. My 4 year old has been a little more difficult lately, and the second child has been a bit hard on my marriage. But overall I'd say it's a lot easier and more fun than I'd imagined. Having a really involved spouse helps enormously.

The infant stage was way more difficult than I ever imagined, but we had a really tough baby. We had a bad start (long failed induction, emergency C-section, jaundice, NICU, my milk didn't come in for a week), so by the time we got home I hadn't slept in almost a week.

Then my DS ended up being a colicky baby with reflux so he was constantly screaming, puking, and unhappy. And he never slept. Because of his condition, I was on a total elimination diet for the first 6 months and we ended up supplementing with formula because I had low supply no matter what I did. The lack of sleep led to PPD and PPA, which sucked hard.

Also son, who is his own person, did not like ANYTHING they tell you newborns or reflux babies like. He effectively threw all our preconceived parenting notions out the window. He didn't like being swaddled, he didn't like nursing, he wasn't cuddly or clingy, he didn't like being worn, he hated his rock n' play, he didn't like cosleeping, and he slept WAY better in his own room, sprawled out in his crib. He's also not a laidback kid - he doesn't like sleeping on the go, he needs a strict schedule, and he gets easily overstimulated. He is an introvert and actually needs a lot of quiet play and independent play - he used to cry a lot when people would get in his face and coo or make baby sounds at him.

Once we figured those things out, got past his reflux, and sleep trained, things have been more "normal." Our life revolves around his schedule, but he's so happy when we stick to the routine that we have no issue with it. Plus he's 16 months old now, so its not really that bad - its just 1 nap a day and a firm bedtime we have to worry about.

DS2 is coming in May and I have no idea how that is going to go, but I really hope he's an easier infant than DS was!

I guess, because DH and I are introverted, I thought we would have a calm child. He is very vocal both when happy and sad, and often that changes from minute to minute. I can't believe how chill my friends' kids' "sad" is compared to his. But his extroverted side is a joy to watch as he doesn't know a stranger, and is literally the friendliest 12-18 month old I have ever met. He brings smiles every where he goes, and forces me out of my comfort zone in public.

ETA: I also was not prepared for bad sleeper past 6-7 months.

Yes. I'm a worst case scenario thinker so I am rarely disappointed because it could always be worse. My Mom owned a daycare that I was free child labor for until I left for college. So I was well versed in diapering, sleeping, cooking and all the fun stuff. I had very little expectations, and she's just awesome. The hard things are few compared to the good.

It's easier than I expected and more rewarding than I thought. I never could have imagined how much I could love another person before dd was born!

I'm not sure what I was expecting to be honest. I sure did not expect the baby stage to be SO tough. Dd1 barely napped, bedtime took hours every night. Her witching "hour" was more like 3 hours, she slept in 2 hour stretched well into 8 months old or so. Then I feared but thought for sure #2 would be a good sleeper. Her night sleep is infinitely better than her big sis at the same age but her naps suck. She naps for 30 minutes on the weekend unless it's a cat nap.

I also naively thought my in laws would want to be much more involve.

Both. I found the sleep deprivation and that kind of thing easier than I imagined, but the emotional part was harder - the relentless need of a new baby, and the sudden and complete lack of personal time. I had a very hard time managing that.

Yes and no. I find that with my son things are what I expected. I expected him to be a challenge and one of the greatest things I'd love. I think what I didn't expect is how I would change. Being more than just a mom is hard. Being a wife, a friend, a worker, a family member, etc. is hard when being a mom takes up so much energy. I continually surprise myself at what I'm capable of doing since I became a mom. So being more proud of myself isn't what I expected.

Easier and harder. The day-to-day is about what I expected, however I wasn't prepared for the loss of personal time. I remember it not really dawning on me until I was in labor and I was like "we'll never be alone again!!!" I'm a big introvert so even though I ADORE my kid I still need time alone to recharge and that doesn't happen very often, especially in the early days.

The emotional aspect is a lot harder than I thought it would be. The easy part is the things I can solve by either a specific action (like sleep training) or with a product (like potty training). The hard part is the things like dealing with friends, the soft skills basically.

I would say harder, mostly because I thought I would enjoy it more. Everyone says "oh, it's different when they're you're own" or "you love them so much you don't mind the hard parts"... I don't always find that to be true? I didn't lose my identity as much as I'd hoped or it would've been easier if I'd felt like they are my whole world/all I need. But.... that's not true at all. I am the same person, just with a much harder life I never experienced any of that stuff about 'my life started when she was born'. Nope. I was just tired and bleeding when she was born, and there was a baby there.

It was also MUCH MUCH harder on my marriage than I ever could have anticipated.

@hummusgirl: @Applesandbananas: Agreed. Most of it is about as hard as I expected, but the relentless, endless nature of it all is nothing I could have prepared for.