Who would take your kids? How did you decide? DH and I are in a major fight about this right now.
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This is a hard one! I'd love for my sister-in-law and her husband to be her guardians, but they live two hours away from the rest of our families. I would hate for my parents and hubs' parents to lose us, and then basically lose our LO too. I know that my husband and I would never agree on which of our parents would be better guardians, so we just don't talk about it. That's awful, I know.
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We've talked about this and neither of us really want either of our siblings, and our parents are all in their mid/late 60s (too old). So we think we'd like LO to go to close friends of ours. We haven't asked them yet though, lol.
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My sister and her husband will take them. We have already made it legal as far as our wish. It is tough!
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Either my brother and his wife (they have no kids right now), or my sister and her husband who have a son just a few months older than Cobi. If neither of them worked out it'd probably be my parents - they're still young and able to raise children.
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My good friend would take her.
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If something happened to us we would want my sister to take them. She would raise them similar to how we would. The problem is that she is only 16 right now.
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My dad. My parents are both in their early 40s. My dad is definitely the best choice. FIL's health isn't the best and I honestly don't think he could care for a young child at this point in his life. I don't trust DH's mother when we're around. I would never trust her as a guardian. All of our siblings are way too young. After my dad, I would choose my aunt and her partner.
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Very timely... Hubs and I were just doing a worksheet for our lawyer to get our wills, living wills, etc put together. My brother and SIL will get her. We know they would raise her very similarly to how we would, and they are very financially well off so taking her in wouldn't be a burden to them. Obviously we have life insurance as well but it's a comfor to me to know that they are financially stable.
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We haven't asked SIL yet but that's our unanimous decision. My parents and DH's parents just couldn't handle another kiddo at this stage in their lives and it wouldn't be fair to them to ask to put retirement on hold. I'm sure both sets of parents would do it but SIL's son and our son will be 6 months apart and we feel very comfortable with their parenting decisions, religious beliefs, and lifestyle choices. They are wonderful, loving people who would do the very best for our son if something were to happen to DH and I.
We just need to ask and get it in writing!
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Right now DH isn't DS's legal guardian so LEGALLY he would go back to his Dad. My mom would take DS's bio-dad to court if she had to though & would likely win. We're debating starting the journey of DH adopting DS but haven't consulted with anyone yet.
Given all of our kids are "ours" DH says probably my mom. We know that she is the most like-minded as us spiritually & morally and she is the least selfish out of all of our parents when it comes to the kids.. She actually helps me do DS's homeschooling (the subjects I don't like as much that are her favs) and his character is always her top priority so I haven't had to battle her when it comes to our rules or how we raise him. AND she would always be sure that they were involved with the rest of the family (including DS's bio-grandma & DH's family). She really would be the best choice.
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Probably my parents.
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Ugh. I have no idea. I haven't even thought about this at all. I would be ok with either of our parents, but none of our siblings. Maybe his brother and his wife.
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I hate thinking about this. Before she was born we decided it would be DH's sister and her husband. They live in our area and are close to both my parents and DH's parents (distance wise and relationship wise). My sister would be an amazing guardian but she lives 4 hours away so LO would lose all her close family. We also agreed that our parents should not have to raise our kids, that aunts and uncles would be the ideal choice for that.
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We appointed guardians before DD was born for life insurance purposes. We decided on DH's parents for now. They are close to retirement whereas my parents are much younger. None of siblings are "settled" in life, and we feel like it wouldn't be a huge disruption to my inlaws' life to have to raise a child if something happened to me and DH. We'll switch it in a few years when our siblings are in better positions to take DD.
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We have to do guardianship paperwork as part of DH's pre-deployment out-processing and we've decided that my parents will get her.
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He fought about it originally, but eventually came to the conclusion that NEITHER of our families would raise our child the way we would want. We agreed some close (married friends) that don't have children yet, but that we know would make great parents and follow our wishes. Now we just have to ask them...
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We can't decide. Not sure I want my brother and SIL. No way will I have DH's sister and BIL, for numerous reasons but the biggest is I don't agree with a lot of the things they do or don't do with their kids. We really need to talk about it and do a will.
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I would like my sister and her husband to have them. They don't have any kids and I think they'd be great at it. Haven't broached the subject yet with DH.
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We thought about this before DS was born when the topic of wills' came up while talking to friends. No one on his side of family (all too crazy), my parents are older (already in 60's)...we don't know what we would do!
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19 comments