ok, so I am gonna lay it all out there.. we are on the verge of committing to a program called brain balance - and struggling with knowing is this typical, or not..

My 4.5 (5 in feb) highly sensitive son displays the following concerns:
defiant - fights bedtime, fights dressing himself even though he "can" - will put pj pants on then not do the shirt and claim its because the tag part confuses him.. resists all steps to bed time in general - doesn't fight, but resists, sometimes more heavily than others..
doesn't like school - and its not the school.. 2 of his close friends are there.. he use to claim it was because he wanted to stay home with mommy, but I'm suspecting its because he doesn't like having to attend to tasks (aka preschool art projects)
hates coloring - all things fine motor, seems to shy away from
minor sensory issues - in the past has complained a couple times about shirt tags on the side (but not all - only few times); doesn't like knit sweaters - too itchy; for a long time hated hair washes, but is better now, but it takes a pep talk and talking him through it still; in the last year decided he doesn't like sand - gets frustrated with sand in his shoes
emotional regulation - he has big outward reactions to things.. he isn't the kid who implodes and cries when upset - he explodes over smallish things.. I am constantly reminding him that reaction needs to be on the same level as the problem.. goes dark fast (if say he left toys out before he left for school, then came home and saw the toys were put away - gets upset, does a fake whine/cry frackers few minutes, then starts saying he hates today, its the worst day ever, he hates everything)
he is wiggly - sometimes seemingly hyperactive - especially after school.. he is also accident prone - he will wiggle and bump into things
he often says "what did you say" and I am concerned about auditory processing

he has had past issues that have come and gone - recently he was hyper sensory seeking, like slamming his body into our couch repeatedly - "crashing". this has died down..
he drooled until he was 3, has slightly low muscle tone, and a weak core according to our chiropractor.. in the past we have seen flares of rage with him - but thankfully since removing dairy that went away..

I am a part of some Facebook groups that make me think I need to do drastic measures - I want to know if I am seeing pathology that exists, or if I am seeing a 4 year old boy - and I am also highly sensitive so I am struggling..

any input welcomed - thank you!
(our concerns are add / dyspraxia)