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for me this am and AF should be here this afternoon if she follows her usual pattern. I have had a good cry about it. TTC is such a crazy experience. I have had so many different symptoms this month and lack of usual symptoms. And several vivid dreams about being pregnant. It really is making me crazy. I'm going to try OPKs this cycle. I haven't used them before now, but it's time to try something else! If AF shows up later today I should be able to test again January 31.

@jhd: ugh I'm sorry. I wonder if the stress and craziness of the holidays messed with us all a bit?

@bizwitch: what a strange dream! FX that the Clomid does the trick for you! It's hard not to think ahead to next steps, but hopefully you won't need any!!

I was just thinking about getting those tests to check DH's sperm count. Any of you have experience with those?

@jhd: @madisonbee: Really sorry about the BFNs, boo

@bizwitch: I have my fingers crossed for you this month, I am really, really hoping the clomid will do the trick. I know it's hard, but try not to think too much about IVF (I guess beyond saving the money, yikes) before you have to cross that bridge, and hopefully it won't have to happen.

@knittylady: Semen is cloudier and will dry up quickly. My problem (again, TMI) is that I think the CM and semen get mixed together.

I had my appointment this morning. Last night falling asleep I was pretty nervous and was having irrational fears about it (like, "what if they do a TV ultrasound and discover there is cancer everywhere and that's why we can't conceive and then I die and leave DH alone" - lol, shut up brain). Thankfully, it went well and the doctor was super, super nice. Am very happy with the experience. We'll do the usual - CD3 testing, HSG, and SA.

It took FOREVER though, because it's a training hospital. First the med student asked me a bunch of questions, then when the doctor came in he had to practice summarizing the information for the doctor. It was his first day on the job, and the doctor proceeded to explain to him female reproduction 101. Like, "CD 1 is when the woman starts bleeding. Here's a picture of the reproductive system, this is the uterus, this is the ovaries...This is what an OPK is. This is what chemical compounds the blood tests look for" Then he read the description of my cycle again and asked the med student if anything was off. Then finally the student had to practice deciding what steps should be advised next. Lol...

@Mrs. K: thinking of you, hope your appt went well.

I tested today at 10dpo just in case. Negative, AF should be here soon, and we can get on with the testing... The end of the cycle is really the worst...

@periwinklebee: I work at a med school so its great you let the student in on your exam. They have to learn somewhere, and a real person is so much better then a simulator or standardized patient. However if you ever feel like you need the appt dynamic to be different, more in depth with the doctor, faster, less explainy you are within your rights to ask to see just the doctor alone without a student. I generally allow students when I see doctors (unless I know them personally outside of the medical practice), but have asked them to leave if I need to have a real talk with my doctor that isn't punctuated by lets explain the topic at a really basic level to the student.

@periwinklebee: Obviously its not something they will come right out and tell you, but its an option.

@knittylady: I'm glad to hear the OPKs have been helpful for you. I didn't use them when TTC LO and I wanted to do a few months without them this time but as this is cycle 6 post Mirena I think it's time to give them a try.

@periwinklebee: thanks, lady. I'm so glad everything went well at your appointment! i totally understand all the nervous energy the night before an appointment and all the worst case scenarios that can go through your mind. I hope you can relax some today and get better sleep tonight!

@madisonbee: thanks.

@dc yoga bee: that's great you had a longer cycle! Good luck next cycle!

@periwinklebee: I'm so happy to hear that your appointment went well this morning! I definitely had a good laugh reading about your mind wandering and having all the crazy thoughts we find ourselves having while we try to get answers of the unknown lol I do the same thing! I have been worried that my uterus is somehow infected or has fibroids all over it hence the sticky note in my bathroom that reads "my uterus is ready to have a baby" so happy you got all the tests ordered too!! I on the other hand had an appointment with a completely new person I'd never met before and first time to Kaiser. She didn't ask me a single question about what we have been doing to TTC. They were ready to do another pap (which I had done just this past August) and when I told her I had one with positive hpv but no need for biopsy she was like "oh that changes everything" and was telling me that Kaiser would want to do a biopsy. She told me I could say no so I did. She made me feel like something was wrong with me when millions of women test positive for hpv at some point in their lives and have babies just fine! Then, she told me I needed to watch their video about ttc before doing any tests and I had to really push to order a lab test which he finally did but seemed annoyed. I left the appointment feeling upset/stressed/annoyed that I wasn't able to get the tests I wanted ordered so I emailed her and basically said that we have been ttc for so long and it's emotionally draining and we don't want to ease any more precious time to start a family. I told her that I want and need the hsg and ultrasound ordered. She wrote back and said she ordered them! So all in all I'm happy with it moving forward but sheesh... it was uncomfortable being pushy and I was blown away but the total lack of assessment after telling them I've been ttc for a whole year...

Kaiser will needs DH SA before they do my hsg but I will be going in for labs starting next cycle. Have you or anyone else heard of progesterone day 21 testing? My friend said I should ask for that too but I don't think it is standard.

@Mrs. K: I'm really sorry it was so hard to get the tests and that they didn't take you seriously. This is so frustrating. I'm glad that you got what you needed in the end.

@madisonbee: I have a blood test on 1/13 not sure if I'll test before that or not. I can't decide if it's better to know ahead of the blood test or not

So I was sick with a cold last week and felt better Monday/Tuesday and now it's back and even worse than before! Ugh. I wonder if that could be affecting my late or no ovulation this cycle.

@snarkybiochemist: Yeah I'm on day 9 and so over it! At this point I'd rather just get my period and start over.
Do you happen to know what happens if you don't ovulate in a cycle? Will your period show up or be late? I'd tried researching and can't seem to find a good answer.

But yes, days 5-9 are the worst of the TWW! At least the weekend is almost here so hopefully you can stay busy and distract yourself

@snarkybiochemist: That sounds like such a roller coaster. I decided last night to just stop taking OPKs and if I don't get my period in a few weeks or a positive test, I'll call my doctor.
I've been driving myself crazy trying to figure out what's going on with my body!

@mrskansas: It was a hard summer. My head was a mess. I think its smart to try and stop obsessing, good luck.

@bizwitch: Go you! I've wanted to try acupuncture for a while but am a little freaked out by all the needles.

@bizwitch: I've had my blood drawn 20+ times over the past three months and still can't look while they do it. I hate it!!!