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I have this problem with my 2 year old and 5 month old. She can be very aggressive towards the baby. I use aha parenting for tips. When she wanted me to be the only one that did everything, I put our LO in the carrier a lot and did as much as I possibly could with her. It was very tiring. Ours comes and goes, but it's been bad again lately. So I can commiserate!

Our kids are very close in age. DD is turning 3 in Dec and DS is 3 months. We are also dealing with major jealousy. Her meltdowns include screaming and flopping herself onto the floor, asking me to put baby brother down and hold her, asks for milk whenever she hears him (because I usually sit and hold her hand while she have her milk so that's her effort to get me before I get him). All this is normal bUT when it happens, my heart aches. Though she's jealous, she's a gentle girl and would listen about not jumping around or hitting the baby. The most she did when she's very upset was close her fist and lightly touch his head. Having a new baby and BF AND going back to work can be pretty exhausting! But I think of the goods-like her sleeping through the night most of the time, of baby brother being a much better sleeper than his sister when she was a baby and for breastfeeding to go much more smoothly this time around, that I can afford to use a bit more energy. So I try to do at least one activity with her each day, and frankly that's all it takes to keep her happy and feeling loved. And seeing her happy and running around laughing makes everything worth it. Some things I've been doing with her are playing with bubbles in the back yard, bought one of those long story books (40+ stories) and reading a few each night, exploring the dark areas of the house with a flashlight and teaching her not to shine it in her or anybody else'a eyes, bought a preschool curriculum workbook and going through several pages a day, building Lego houses and role playing with Lego people, letting her help with throwing the clothes from washer to dryer and calling out which piece of clothing belongs to who, teaching her to use kid scissors and glue stick, going for walks around the neighborhood. I also put her to bed every night, she won't let me miss that, that's one thing she looks forward to if mommy is too busy for anything else. We cuddle, we talk, we giggle, usually last 1+ hour before she actually sleeps. It's not easy and we're taking ithe day by day. We wonder if she would mature in a few months? We wonder when baby brother becomes more mobile, if she would find him more interesting, someone she.can play with ? Mental note to always just give lots of hugs and kisses, and no matter how tough the situation, using a soft patient voice is always a win win. Easier said than done, but I'm working on it!