It's posts like these that make me want to take the plunge to gold membership but here goes...

My siblings and I have traditionally gotten along famously (save for those pesky teenage years), but lately one of them has been the center of major, major tension... long, personal and painful story short: she has "triggers" that make her extremely upset at one of us, and it's hard to know what will trigger that response. The trigger would understandably make someone annoyed or upset, but the response is always exaggerated for the situation, and has ruined trips and holidays in the past.

The last one incident is still ongoing and she is still not talking to one of my other siblings. I'm hosting Christmas and I don't know what to do. There will be kids there and I don't want their Christmas ruined, but do not want people not to show up because they are afraid of the tension.

I love my sister and want her to be happy, but I want my family united again too. So far, all confrontation about a larger issue being at play has led to extreme defensiveness and shutting down. Not even sure what advice I'm seeking here, but I feel powerless to make it right.