Hellobee Boards

@gotkimchi: Yes this. Set aside a day with a block of time that’s special for you.
Not exactly the same but when we had our 2nd baby 5 months ago, I decided to set aside “Mommy and DS1 time” and we choose one thing each week that we do ourselves. It might be watching a movie on Friday night with popcorn and chocolate milk (which he thinks is super special). We turn off the lights and cuddle under a blanket and he loves it.
Or on the weekend we do something just us two. Explore a new playground instead of the same old one across the street. It only has to be a couple of hours. One Saturday we took the subway all the way downtown to a new playground. Then walked and got a hamburger and a donut. Then walked a bit longer to the LEGO store and finished with some ice cream and another playground. It was very low key and honestly we didn’t even have plans beyond the new playground. But it was so nice to just see where the day took us.
Full disclosure, I sah so it’s not like my weekends are my only time to clean or do household chores. If that’s what your situation is, my sister recently discovered grocery Pickup and she swears that saving 2-3 hours total for grocery shopping on The Weekend is a game changer. She places her order for Friday Pickup on the way home from work and then she feels really freed for the whole weekend because it’s not hanging over her and then to actually have to do it.
I know that’s not what you asked but she’s been raving for weeks so thought I’d share.

Following: DD has been very clingy to us latley, I think DS now 1.5 and is very active takes a lot.of our attention!

She asks to sleep with us and also is waking MOTN begging not to be alone!

I think she would understand 1 night a week in our bed with us movie etc...

I find that if I can put in some really intense re-bonding time right when I get home from work it gets the night off on a better foot. Lots of snuggles and eye contact. We often read a book on the sofa. It doesn't take much.

@Mama Bird: how old is your little one?

@Mama Bird: so I have a 6 year old and an almost 2 year old and their ability to reason is very from ours. I would say that having a long drawn out goodnight is tiring for her too but she cant see that. I believe you need to try saying a firm goodnight and then leaving. My daughter used to do this and we explained that after we said a prayer we would day goodnight once ans that was it. Yes there will be some crying the 1st few nights but children adapt to routines very quickly.

So I have to comisserate with you because I know how exhausting long, drawn out bedtimes are. We were laying in bed with LO1 anywhere from 1-2 hours every night before he would eventually fall asleep. There was constant rolling around, threatening to leave if he wouldn’t settle, etc. etc.

Once LO1 turned 3 and our LO2 needing us at bedtime we decided we would need to change our bedtime routine. A few nights before we started it, we verbally ran through the new routine with him to prep him for the changes. Our new routine became bath, pjs, brush teeth, book, 10 minutes of cuddles, hug and kiss and a good night.

The night we started the new routine we told him that we were going to set a timer for 10 minutes and when the timer goes off, we are going to give him a hug and a kiss and leave. We told him that we love him, that he needs his sleep so that he can grow big and strong and that we would be in the house watching him on the camera. We emphasized what a big boy he is to sleep in his big boy room all by himself. The first few nights there were lots of tears, but each morning he would wake up so excited and say “I slept in my room, just like a big boy and you watched me on the camera!” It’s been 3 months and overall it’s been great for all of us. He occasionally will say things like “I don’t want you to leave me, I just love you”. I acknowledge the feelings, but keep firm to the routine and expectation that I leave when the timer goes off and try not to draw bedtime out because it makes it harder for them.

You will find something that works for both of you!! Good luck!

@Mama Bird: yes! I know it is easier said than done but children really respond well to structure and knowing what is coming next.