http://www.salon.com/2014/11/14/mommy_is_this_a_laser_gun_when_your_kids_discover_your_sex_toys/
Where do you draw the line of what to post on social media?
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I saw the picture the article refers to. While I thought the photo was funny and gross, I believe there are some things you just don't share on the internet!
ETA: I don't post pictures of LO naked/half naked, on the potty, etc. I have this picture of her where she took a panty liner and stuck it on her face, and I called it her iPad but I would never post that on FB or social media.
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I saw the IG photo when shared it and I thought it was inappropriate. I would be mortified if there were a similar pic of me shoving my mom's vibrator into my eye all over the internet.
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@mrsjazz: haha that's hilarious.
I have a picture of LO wearing one of my bras. I texted it to my family. But I wouldn't out it on social media because I don't think he would want that out there.
@lawbee11: same, same.
Some things just make better stories than pictures, especially in the age of the internet.
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I also saw this pic on Instagram and was so irked. Right in the eye!! She backtracked and said it was a massager but her initial comments (now edited) said things like "you know" "sanitized" "Mommys little friend" and "every woman needs one!" I don't know what it was actually used for but regardless, those poor kids now have that picture on the internet forever.
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She says she doesn't use it & it was clean so we'll set aside the issue of allowing her children to play with it, but I definitely don't agree with posting the photo on social media. Not every picture of your child is okay to put out for all the world to see forever and ever.
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@mrsjazz: hahaha! I love her
@jedeve: same - I think some things definitely make better stories. I never understood the need to post every minute detail to social media - pictures or text! Haha
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@mrsjazz: @lawbee11: @jedeve: Agreed to all of these sentiments. There are just some lines that you don't cross in order to protect your children's privacy and dignity.
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@Mrs. Sunshine: actually in the Salon article, she says she used it (albeit a long time ago), which directly contradicts what she said on IG. And those things aren't sanitizable. the head is foam. so, still gross.
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@mrsjazz: @jedeve: haha I have no pictures of this but....I'm really lazy & have a basket of clean clothes that have been worn but aren't dirty yet (we all have those!) & everytime my pink bra is in there my LO like to pull it out, lay the cup on her face & smell it. It's really hilarious but also strange & I definitely don't think she would ever want a picture of that floating around the Internet for the rest of her life!
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@dagret: oh I must have gotten confused...I would never be okay with my LO seeing something like that in my presence much less allowing her to play with it but that's just how I feel personally. Especially not if it was ever used!
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I personally feel this blogger enjoys shocking people. She made sure to do that with this (very carefully staged) photo.
If my child ever found something of mine that was used during intimate acts, I would be appalled. If she touched it and started playing with it, I would not be amused, nor would I post that to IG.
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@dagret: I was wondering about that specific piece. How can you sanitize some of these things when they can't be submerged in boiling water because of the battery parts. Cleaned yes, sanitized no.
The picture should not have been shared on social media. People shouldn't share objects of things that have been inserted into or touched their genitals. No one needs to see that even if a cute kid is using it as a toy.
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I wouldn't let my kid play with something like that, let alone get a picture of it.
Weird, and definitely not appropriate for the internet.
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That's the same blogger who had her kid sleep in the bathroom for several years even though they had a spare bedroom, so frankly, nothing she does surprises me. From her years of blogging, it's pretty clear that whatever she finds amusing comes first, including ranking above any thought to how her kids might feel to find out mom let them play with her vibrator and posted pics to the internet for everyone to see. No matter who posted it, it's totally inappropriate, but that wife posting it isn't surprising.
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@mediagirl: I totally agree with your first paragraph!
It crossed a line for me, and I think I'm pretty liberal about these things. Apparently sex toys (or implied sex toys) and babies are the line for me!
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Attention whoring at its finest
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@mediagirl: That was exactly my reaction. She just does stuff like that for the shock value.
It's not like she just walked in on her kids who had innocently discovered her vibrator and she "hahaha" quick snapped a picture before taking it away. It was plugged in. They didn't plug it in themselves. She made it sound like it was a regular game. Gross. Her original hashtags were especially disgusting. It just kind of sickens me in general how she uses her kids for attention.
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@blackbird: exactly
totally crossed a line
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I believe this is a member of Hellobee so keep that in mind with your replies!
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I didn't see the picture, but my view of kids and social media is that I post no pictures and very few stories because someday LO will have a social media account and could easily go back on Facebook and see everything I posted.
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@twodoghouse: I'm pretty liberal, too. I loved that commercial where the mom goes to pick up her kid from a playdate and the two boys are using sex toys as swords. That was funny because it wasn't real.
I did laugh at the photo. Then I said ewww, gross, that should NOT be on instagram.
One thing I worry about with the internet--I do like posting pics of my kid on FB because I keep in touch with a lot of friends and family that way, but what does it mean when a child is old enough to realize that there are all these embarrassing photos of them on the web?
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My personal test is, "Will my kids hate me for this when they're in Jr. High?" If so, probably not appropriate for me to put on the internet while they're too young to consent to that. I think it's about respecting your children and what their boundaries may or may not be in the future. In 10 or 20 years, if they think it's hilarious, they can totally share it in whatever super cool way technology at that time allows that I will no longer be cool enough to even know about.
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It bugs me that a lot of people don't seem to have any respect for their children's privacy, or even acknowledge that their kids are still autonomous people who likely will one day not appreciate photos like this on the internet. Just because the kid isn't aware of it now and doesn't have the ability or knowledge to complain doesn't mean they don't have the same right to privacy as an adult....
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@mrsjazz: That commercial was hilarious. But it was totally different. They "found" them and the mother wasn't taking a picture and posting it on the internet. She was horrified when they ran out of the house. I mean yea, it could happen and it would be a hilarious story one day. That is completely different than having something laying about and grabbing the camera! LOL
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@mediagirl: I agree with your entire comment.
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@Mrs. Blue: That's my view too. I post a lot of pictures of Xander on Facebook for our family to see, but there are certain things that I feel cross the line. I don't want him to resent me or hate me for things I posted when he was little!
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It makes me wonder what the internet will look like in 10-15 years. On the one hand, there will be sooooo much on there. How will a middle school bully ever wade through it all to find one embarrassing picture ? Will Instagram even be around? On the other hand, will facial recognition be so advanced you could type someone's name into google and see every picture of them ever?
We let a large national large profit my sister works for use a video of my kids tantruming in an ad campaign. The video is hilariously adorable. I had to really talk DH into letting them use it. He would prefer no mention or pictures of the kids on social media. But I thought this was a way they could do some good, even though he had a good point that they can't consent. But I definitely would draw the line at anything remotely sexual. In all things sexual (even if just by association) the party involved should be able to consent.
To me the issue isn't if it's sanitized or used. I mean, it looks like a vibrator, and that is embarrassing, used or not. And couldn't that injure your eye?
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I'm LMAO b/c I was reading Slate and this Prudie column was just suggested to me and I thought it was semi-relevant. http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2013/03/dear_prudence_i_d_like_to_give_my_deceased_wife_s_vibrator_to_my_new_girlfriend.html
"But paradoxically, intimate inanimate objects can feel more personal, and sharing certain ones would likely make anyone shudder...Some investments just can't be recouped."
Preach on Prudie, preach on.
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Why someone would chose to embarrass their children so publicly is beyond me. I would have been mortified going through school if my mom posted pictures like that. It's the epitome of being self centered.
Her quote in the salon article is idiotic. Essentially it says I have kids and also have sex, .....ummm, no shit sherlock that's how most people end up with kids.
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I'm not easily offended, but here she really crossed a line. Even if you think it's ok to let your children play with a massage/sex toy, how anyone would think it's ok to put it on social media is beyond me. I agree with pp, the original hashtags were disgusting and aimed to stirr controversy.
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I would be horrified if I stumbled on my kid playing with a sex toy in general, so taking a photo and posting it online is a great big NOPE from me. I don't even find it a little bit amusing.
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Hmmm... I am firmly in the "do NOT overshare" camp, so I definitely would not post such a pic. However, I did discover my kid playing with a toy that she had found in my bedside drawer. No pics, but definitely a story I laughed about with friends at brunch.
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I'm sure I'm going to get blasted for this, but I don't think it's that big of a deal. As far as grossness is concerned, I can't tell you how many times I've caught my kid playing with a used plunger and toilet brush. He practices his fine motor skills by putting his finger up our pug's butt. He thinks putting his hands in his poop during diaper changes is hilarious. Come on, kids are gross. I can think of a hundred things our kids play with that are less sanitary than a sanitized vibrator. As far as it being inappropriate, they're innocent little kids. They have no idea what it's used for. It's a cool thing that vibrates. It's not like she's giving them a demonstration. Call me a bad parent, whatever, but if I caught my kid playing with my vibrator I'd probably start laughing hysterically. Would I post a photo on the interwebs? No. But I also wouldn't be mortified or ashamed.
I think it was tactless to put it on social media, sure. However, I think people are way over sensationalizing this.
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Holy cow! I just went down the internet rabbit hole searching her. This is so not the craziest thing that she has done.
Read this interview about her child care decisions:
http://julia-transition.blogspot.com/2014/08/moms-make-it-work-jenna-part-time.html#comment-form -
@Ra: I'm not going to blast because my beef isn't with her kids playing with it. Posting her (used) toy on social media was gross. The toy could have been in her bed, in a drawer, on the counter, or in this case her kid's hands & eyes and I still would think why? Why is this photo online for public consumption?
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Meh I don't think playing with the vibrator is bad, it is not like they know what it is. I would have just shared it amongst family and close friends though who would find it funny, not the whole world. It could be very embarrassing for a 12 yr old to find! On the other hand it could make amazing 18th birthday party material haha
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@Ra: I don't think most people are upset about someone having a vibrator but more about disrespecting her kids. The internet has been around for long enough that I think most parents have thought about what kind of image they're putting out of their child publicly before the kid has input.
Also her description is that it was plugged in and vibrating. Why would you let a kid hold up something vibrating to their eye and take a picture. It's upsetting to see a picture showing someone valuing their internet presence over their child's eyesight.
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I'm with @Ra: on this one- I don't really think it's a huge deal. *shrugs shoulders*
It doesn't affect any of us so why is everyone getting so upset about it?
I also really don't get why there was so much controversy about the article that was just posted about her childcare decisions- Seems normal to me. If I could outsource more of my childcare, I would in a heartbeat! It's so hard! -
@Ra: I don't really think it matters that the kids don't know what the vibrator is for. Everyone she shared it with (which is....everyone since her account is public) knows what it's for and that's embarrassing for the kids. I think it's totally fine to laugh if you catch your kid in that situation, but it's the sharing that crosses a line and doesn't show respect for the child's privacy or saving them from future embarrassment. Maybe in the future the kids will turn out not to care but you can't know that and I think it's best to err on the side of caution when messing around with your kids' public image, especially while they can't consent.
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83 comments