So I've been stalking this forum from the shadows for a few months now and finally figured it was about time I joined in

Here's my story if you're interested:

I am an American photographer/military wife living overseas. My husband and I have spent pretty much our entire married life overseas away from our family and friends. We lived in Germany for over seven years and now have been in England for a year and a half.

For the first three years of our marriage, we continued to use birth control before deciding that while we weren't quite ready to TTC, we would just not actively try to thwart it. Even after two years of no pregnancies, we really didn't worry too much about it until my mother started mentioning all the problems she had had in getting pregnant. We did a little bit of preliminary testing but never figured out more than it was an issue on my end and not my husband's. I was dealing with another fairly serious medical condition at the same time that took all my attention and by the time I was ready to possibly start fertility testing again, my doctor strongly recommended I get an IUD (Mirena) to help with my other medical condition. It was about that time that we started putting money away towards adoption instead.

Then, last year, close to my 30th birthday, I was talking with my sister on the phone and mentioned all the usual 30-year-old fears about getting older and such and how I was giving up on ever getting pregnant altogether. She (a very strong woman in a high-powered job in a very open bisexual relationship with a handful of people who has been anti-kids for as long as I can remember -- she's the type to get freaked out and painfully awkward around pretty much any kid under the age of seven) joked that if she ever accidentally got knocked up, she'd just give the baby to me, and OMG how perfect would that be? Because she'd lately been slightly interested in the actual experience of being pregnant but she wanted nothing to do with all the responsibilities of a baby at the end. There was no way she would give up her 80 hours a week job and all the bars and parties on the weekends. And somehow over the next few months it evolved from a joke into an actual plan.

That was a year and a half ago. This idea has gone from her randomly getting knocked up to asking a few of her guy friends if they would be willing to have sex for a good cause and give up all rights to the resulting child to using an anonymous donor from a sperm bank. Then, about six months ago, my husband and I flew back to the States to visit the in laws and ended up driving up to my sister to go to a cryobank to freeze my husband's sperm to use.

And so that leaves us where we are today. By state law, my husband's sperm had to be quarantined for six months before it could be used and that six months is up in just two weeks. My sister has been -- confusingly for me -- having the time of her life visiting acupuncturists and herbalists getting her cycle normalized (she had her Mirena removed a couple of months ago) and is nervously anticipating the first IUI treatment that should hopefully happen in October. She's the type of person who runs marathons and gets her master's degree a year early. She derives pleasure from pushing herself and achieving what she set out to do so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that this is something she is literally giddy to do.

As for me, well, now that we've gotten this far, I'm trying to get my head around exactly what will happen once this baby is born. It's looking like we'll have to stay with the baby in the States for what could possibly be upwards of 8 weeks while the baby's processed for a military passport and UK visa. We're hoping to be able to stay with my in-laws but it's all down to timing. If my sister conceives right away, my in-laws will be able to house us the entire time. If not, well, we'll be house/hotel hopping with a newborn which doesn't sound fun in the least. Not to mention, the longer she takes to conceive, the younger the baby is when we have to move to another country in a year and a half. But then I'm honestly not sure at what age packing up and spending 24+ hours traveling would be easiest. Nine months if she gets pregnant right away? Younger? Is it ever easy with an infant?

So yeah, that's the situation I'm currently trying to navigate. And out of all the issues and concerns that are still ongoing, my husband is ashamed that my biggest upset about this entire thing is that I am a newborn photographer who will finally have a newborn of my very own but will be halfway around the world from my at-home studio and all my fun props and sets. By the time we actually get home, the baby will be over two months and too big for most of them! So sad, hahaha!

Thanks for reading all that if you've gotten this far. I look forward to chatting with you all!