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My 3yo has some tendencies like that! He strongly wants his foods to be on the same colored plate/bowls (Kix on yellow, grapes on purple, etc) and if we did something a certain way one time, he always wants it done that way. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, he only recently got this way!

D (16m) gets very grumpy when he's over tired, but I think that's just tiredness vs responding to a disruption in routine.

Not quite to this extent, but my 1.5 year old is pretty darn strict with his routine! His bedtime is 8, and when our families started pushing for us to stay later than that on the holidays he took care of it for us - brought us his shoes and then had a screaming fit at one get together, and then pulled a pillow off the couch and laid down at the next one! And I definitely know when my MIL had him nap later than I ask her to put him down, because it totally ruins the rest of the day (she rarely gets to watch him and this is one of the reasons why.)

Thankfully he isn't like this anymore with food, but I'd say it wasn't until close to the 1 year point where he stopped wailing and screaming and getting incredibly worked up if it took me .5 seconds too long to get his food ready.

I'm really sorry, it sounds like you're having a really tough day with the test and appointments and such. I can't think of a single 4 hour time window that would have worked well for L at that age, so tough! Now that he's older and only takes one nap it's easier, his EI specialist comes either first thing in the morning or right after nap time/lunch.

@spaniellove: I use to babysit a kid in the autistic spectrum who would flip out if we deviated from his routine. My niece has also been diagnosed in the autistic spectrum, and she has similar issues. They have sensory issues, issues with eating and sleeping as well. I'm not saying that's the issue here, but it was my first thought reading what you wrote.

@spaniellove: I bet it is exhausting! It's frustrating to have to stick to routines so rigidly.

So DS isn't super strict about routine, but it still would've been tough at that age to do anything for 4 straight hours. Maybe if we'd done it after nap 1? But 4 hours would realllly be stretching it.

@ShootingStar: I agree! Any baby would melt down I am sure.

I won't pretend to have similar experiences because I don't want to diminish yours. My LO was very schedule oriented & sensitive with high sleep needs until she was 9-10 months old. She would lose it if we pushed her wake time and the whole day and subsequent night sucked. I was very hard so I can only imagine your challenges. ️

My eldest is somewhat like this. She grew out of some of the rigid schedule stuff around a year old, but has major sensory issues and rejection to sudden changes in plans. She still screams at the doctor's office, and rejects new people and even sometimes familiar people at first. For the sensory stuff, I just try to prepare her as much as possible, like cover her ears before flushing a public restroom toilet, cut tags out of her clothes, white noise in her room at night, helping her eat food she refuses to touch with her hands, letting her wipe her hands off between every bite, etc. She's gotten better as she's gotten older- she's 2.5 now. As a baby she screamed and screamed and got overstimulated very easily. She did upset herself to vomiting a lot as a baby. She was also tongue tied and refused nursing/ had reflux from that, which convoluted the issue. Now, she's able to ask questions about what things are-- especially noises and smells. She still has meltdowns from these things, but fewer. Sometimes even holding her to help her through is too much touch for her, so I'll just sit down, get my eyes at her level, and silently let her know I'm there with her. It's really hard to sit there unable to help while your child screams, but I try to remind myself being there with her *is* helping.

I know it's hard, and it's hard for people to understand. Just keep doing what you know works best for your child, because you know him best, and don't second guess yourself and your instincts. A 4 hour test is such a long time for a kid, especially if he's having a hard time. I can commiserate, but I don't know exactly what you're experiencing, and I'm sure it's very isolating, and just plain hard. Hang in there, mama. You're doing a great job. I hope you can have your little one evaluated again on an easier day and I hope he starts to adjust as he gets a little older. I think it was a little preemptive to say he may not be able to sign-- I hope (and think) that won't be the case, and he will shut them up with his awesome signing as he learns. Xo.

How old is your LO? I'm a special ed teacher and have worked with kids on the spectrum for a long time. Even if your son isn't on the spectrum, some of the things that work for kids with autism also work for kids who have sensory needs and/or are rigid.
First, does your OT specialize in sensory issues? I've worked with lots of good OTs, but some weren't the best fit for kids with sensory needs because their backgrounds were in areas more like motor planning or lif skills.
I'm thinking especially of something like a visual schedule to let your son know what's coming next and what the day will be like, but I'm guessing he might be too young for it.

@spaniellove: I feel like sensory issues are so complicated and unfortunately it sounds like you found someone who kind of just goes by the book instead of getting a sense for your child. I hope you find someone better down the line.

I don't really have anything to add on the sensory part or the routines, but I'll say that my daughter has fine motor skill issues and didn't gesture at 7 months (although I don't think the majority of kids gesture well at 7 months) and she signs quite well now at 2.5. A lot of her signs are still approximations of the sign, rather than perfect examples of the sign, but it's still pretty clear what she's saying. At 7 months, I wouldn't yet discount his future ability to communicate by sign.

I'm sorry you're going through this. I mean, most babies and toddlers like routine so that part seems pretty normal to freak out if their routine changes. That happened with both of my boys but their reactions were so different. My oldest would get upset but he rarely had tantrums over it. My youngest, however, has a tougher time. As an infant, when someone just looked at him he would cry bloody murder. I had to warn people not to look at him. The ones who didn't listen paid and so did I. He used to throw multiple, drop to the floor (like flinging himself backwards and then it went to dropping down and rolling over to his belly) screaming and crying for a good 20 minutes. And he did this over 10 times a day. He is 2.5 months away from being 3 now and it has gotten a lot better. It got significantly better when he turned two but he still threw them. Now, when he gets upset, he'll just jump up and fold his legs and land on his knees (ouch!) and cry. I just let him get over it b/c the more I tried to soothe him the more upset he became. I have wondered if I need to get him evaluated, but he's developing pretty normally otherwise. He hasn't gotten worse but has only gotten better so we'll see. I don't think he has a sensory issue or has ever, but he does have issues with you moving things to the wrong place. Like it "has" to be here or there. We're working on that right now.