This would be less frustrating if I didn't know that so many people actually do believe this.
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I usually find Post-Secret really interesting. This is just mean though - and SO untrue. Honestly, I'm pretty sure SAHMs work WAY harder than I do at my office job.
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So untrue. I get a little bit of downtime during the day but I'm busting butt all the other times. Taking care of a baby is a lot of work, plus cleaning, errands, bills, organization, play groups, appointments and cooking/baking.
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That's really mean. I usually enjoy post secrets too. Blech
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I for sure don't think of it as 'the hardest job in the world'. I think that people fighting wars, nurses in busy ERs, trauma surgeons, teachers in under funded schools - they all have it way harder than me. By a mile. But I work my ass off as a stay at home mother, just like all the other ones I know do. It is really infuriating that some people perceive the work I do as just, nothing.
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Pssshhh! My job is cushy compared to taking care of my 7 week old. I get breaks, I can eat lunch, I can go to the bathroom, and I generally don't have anyone screaming at me. Same cant be said for staying at home with my little dude.
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@sarac: and I'm a social worker in an ER - staying at home is way harder!
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There is no way the people who think that have ever spent any significant amount of time with a baby or toddler.
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I thought the same thing when I saw that this morning. It stung a little.
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While I don't plan on staying home, my mom was a SAHM and it makes me sad to see that. I definitely would never regard her as lazy.
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I'm still torn on SAHM or working. But I've already decided that while a lot of new moms are afraid to leave the baby alone with DH at first, I'm going to do it early on for long stretches (but I do trust him wholeheartedly). I want him to understand that whether its my maternity leave or SAHM, its no picnic.
I think that most who have that opinion are men who haven't had to do it. -
I go to work to rest some days! Taking care of a baby and a home is not for the feint of heart!
I'm curious if a male or a female wrote this.
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Obviously I don't agree with the statement but how could somebody even write that statement on that image. As if that fancy meal, decorated house, and nicely dressed family sitting at a table just happen.
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My ex husband probably sent that in. He says that DS won't learn good work ethics from me.
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@sarac: damn. Here I am, finding SAHMing too hard and looking forward to going back to my day job, which is much easier.
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It's frustrating yes - but I have to remind myself it doesn't matter what other people think! Do I wish everyone appreciated mothers who stay home and mothers who work alike? Heck yes! I face both sides: I have family who thinks one way and friends who think another. A mother can't win, nor should she ever feel that she has to please someone. We have to make choices that we personally feel are best for our family and be so confident in them that we don't let others get us down.
I feel pity for someone when I read a close-minded statement like that. I don't feel guilt, but I pity them.
I actually think being a SAHM was harder for myself because I lacked motivation and resolve to do it well. I was lazy because it just wore me out and I felt I couldn't keep up with everything. Working PT is the perfect balance of having my own time at work, but getting things done at home.
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I know plenty of people think that, so it's not nice to hear/see, but it's not a surprise either. DH and I made a decision that's right for our family but I know plenty of people will think I'm lazy and don't want to go back to work or am wasting my education.
@SweetiePie: I plan to do the same thing-- DH does say he appreciates how me being a SAHM will make life a little easier for both of us in ways beyond child care, but I am not sure he'll really realize what it's like being home all day with a baby until he does it.
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I saw that. I don't understand how working outside the home is any more work than inside the home and all it includes and the 24/7 care of a child? That's unfair.
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@Foodnerd81: Exactly. DH doesn't think that being a SAHM is lazy but he thinks its easier than going to work. Because he looks at it as the tasks of a SAHM aren't HARD (and I get what he means, though when I try to type it out here it sounds condescending but I really don't mean it to be). I want him to see that while its not rocket science, its still hard physically and emotionally and its still a huge learning curve and can be stressful because you don't always know what you're doing - always second guessing yourself and worrying.
And I'm not even a mom yet! I'm just going by what I've experienced spending a day with my nephews! -
Well, to be quite honest, my mom was a lazy SAHM.
I think staying home with the kids, for the majority of the women (and men) who do it, is crazy hard. I'm terrified of next week, when DH goes back to work full days!!
I think it's sad that this person is generalizing all sahm's... I know my mom was not the norm, and that most work their butts off taking care of everything at home!
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The problem is that one rotten apple spoils the whole bunch. There are lazy SAHM as much as there are lazy whom and lazy workers in general. We tend to characterize by the worst that we see and not the best. Also these things come out because people secretly crave to have their own schedule and be in control of their own life (as SAHM are able to).
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My mom was a SAHM and she was NEVER lazy. I hate that people think this way about SAHMs. There are lazy people in every profession, but they are usually a minority!
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@brownie: @jhd: You both made good points I never really thought of. That there are lazy people in every profession and that the people who generalize SAHM like that are probably jealous.
Also forgot to add that my sister works and by Sunday she is yearning to go back to work. She thinks its way easier than staying home (she's a corporate tax accountant who works long hours, its not an easy job). -
You can't let things like this get under your skin. Are there lazy SAHMs? Sure. Are there lazy WOHM? Sure. Lots of professions are discounted entirely as being "easy" by lots of people. Somebody is going to judge you whatever you do; screw them.
You know you work hard, I'm assuming your partner knows you work hard. Nothing you can do about the rest, except keep on keeping on! -
I don't think most SAHMs are lazy but I'm not looking forward to school starting again in September. Teaching thirty classes a week of 4th and 5th graders is A LOT of work. I cannot go to the bathroom when I need to either so going to work gives me a paycheck and a lunch break (occasionally).
ETA - and I'm going to miss my baby girl
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Don't let what others think, determine how you feel about yourself.
@swedishfish: I can relate. I have 22 four yr olds (Pre-K) and I go back Aug. 6th. SO not ready to go back, I can already feel the stress.
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I saw it and it made me mad at first, but then I realized it was clearly a person without a kid who had written it.
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What a curious picture to use to convey that message!
Just so we're clear: I don't subscribe to this secret poster's opinion. But I do find it highly ironic that they chose that representation of a SAHM to spew such garbage.
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What really bugs me about this is that the writer said stay at home MOMS are lazy. Not stay at home Dads. I've never heard someone say a stay at home dad was lazy. Women really do get the worst of both worlds.
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@sarac: @grizz: I am a nurse in a busy ICU 2 days / week and I stay at home the others. It depends, or course, but some days being at home with M is so much more draining than being at the hospital!
(and with that, she's up from her nap - the life of a SAHM
)
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I saw this and thought immediately that this person doesn't have kids.
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I think that you can easily be a lazy stay at home mom, just like you can be a lazy anything. And yeah - none of the tasks I do are especially hard. Certainly not as hard as working with radiation, which is what I used to do. But when I did that? I could sit down. I got breaks. I could usually do something a little easier if I was having a hard day. I got a quiet lunch, and a quiet walk to and from work. On and on. Stay at home parents just don't get those things, and that makes it really hard work. It is a million miles from lazy. Whew, rant over.
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Haha. The mom in the pic just made a turkey dinner. That isn't lazy.
There are lazy people everywhere. I know lazy SAHMs and I have worked with lots of lazy people in finance, too!
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hahahaha... i kind of chuckled when i saw this (I'm a sahm) because the picture the person chose is kind of the poster girl of a 'in a perfect world' sahm! gorgeously coiffed hair, tiny waist in pressed clothing, all the kids have their hair combed, decorated mantle, and a whole turkey dinner!
i would imagine that the unkind remark would make dmore of an impact attached to a different picture, perhaps not so tailored haha
totally not true remark, of course -
@sarac: post secret?
I don't believe this at all. I can't imagine how hard I would have to work if I was a SAHM. I can be lazy at work, I can't be lazy at home!!!
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I feel like anyone who makes this statement is just jealous of SAHM's! Where else would it come from? I know waaay more lazy co-workers than lazy SAHM's. You don't really have a choice when your job is to take care of the kids - even if you want to relax they might not let you!
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I think the choice of picture is what tells this story...let's be honest here...I was a SAHM for 2 years. I never once made a turkey dinner and had the entire family sitting at the table, while wearing a fancy dress and pearls.
Was I lazy? Some days, yes, I admittedly didn't do anything other than watch TV while my son slept.
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I can only conclude this was written by someone who has never stayed at home with a kid.
You know you work hard, I'm assuming your partner knows you work hard. Nothing you can do about the rest, except keep on keeping on! 
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