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Middle of the night wakings? Does your SO help?

  • poll: Did your SO help in the middle of the night with feelings/diaper changes?
    Yes, regularly. : (46 votes)
    22 %
    Yes, sometimes. : (21 votes)
    10 %
    Yes, rarely. : (26 votes)
    13 %
    No, never. : (31 votes)
    15 %
    Baby is/was breastfed. : (69 votes)
    33 %
    Baby is/was formula or breastmilk fed with a bottle. : (14 votes)
    7 %
  1. Rocker2014

    persimmon / 1367 posts

    @Corduroy: I get it, we pretty much did the same thing. DH cannot function with little sleep, while I can manage it fairly well. We both WOH, and for us the best division of labor was for me to do all the overnight wakeups, but for him to do most of the chores around the house (dishes/vacuuming/bathrooms/etc.) during the day. It allowed me to focus on resting during the times LO did sleep, and him to get the overnight sleep he really needs.

    LO is 21 months now, and this system has worked well for us since the first week. Fortunately, after a crazy no sleeping first 7 months, we've rarely had wake ups overnight since then!

  2. catomd00

    grapefruit / 4418 posts

    He helped in the early days/was up with me for solidarity lol. Did it longer with #1 than #2. But if #1 wakes up, she's all his! I don't mind, I don't really need him for anything. If it's a Rough night I just wake him up to help. (EBF)

  3. snowjewelz

    wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts

    Yes he got up with me every single time in the very beginning, and still regularly woke up and made sure I didn't need help till probably 6+ months.

  4. JenGirl

    clementine / 756 posts

    In the first few weeks, the baby was by my husband's side of the bed and at wakings, he would change the diaper, reswaddle and give baby to me to nurse.

    Once I got a better handle on breastfeeding, I took over night wakes for the rest of my maternity leave.

    When I went back to work and the pedi said that he didn't need to eat overnight, my husband started getting him if he woke up before 3-4 AM, I got him after that. After a week of that, he started sleeping through, so my husband wasn't getting up.

    We mostly keep to this schedule. He has a tendancy to sleep through for a while, then he'll get sick/teeth/be in a strange place/get off schedule and he'll be back to having a couple wake ups. While he's sick, teething, or we're visiting people, I do most night wakes. Then we switch back to hubby doing early shift and me doing late shift, until he's sleeping through again. Repeat. So I do end up getting up more overnight, but my husband does most of the early mornings on weekends, so I get to sleep in, which works for me!

  5. keepcalmcarrie

    persimmon / 1096 posts

    For the first maybe week he got up to change diapers MOTN. Other than that, I handled them all. That's okay with me, as long as he helps when they're sick and I get to sleep in sometimes. It works for us.

  6. Mrs. Toad

    persimmon / 1095 posts

    He got up for a few days, but mostly me. I only had one wake up by five weeks and he STTN at 10 weeks. He only ate and went right back to sleep. I was only up for 20 minutes or so.

  7. alphagam84

    persimmon / 1095 posts

    We split it 50/50 while he was home on leave with us. DD was formula fed. We'd split the night and each be on for a 5 hour shift so the other one could get a decent stretch of sleep. I actually slept in the other room when it wasn't my turn since I'm such a light sleeper. I'd normally sleep from 10-3 and then take the 3-8am shift. Worked pretty well. Then once he went back to work he'd be up 'til her midnight feeding so I could go to bed early and be guaranteed a decent chunk of sleep by going to bed at 9:30 then I'd be on call the rest of the night. Once we were both back at work we ended up taking turns each night which has worked so well. One night will be completely my night and then the next night is all him. Works out really well because even if your night is terrible you know that the next night is a great nights sleep! Now that DD is 8 months old it basically means doing a dream feed at 10 before bed and then going in sometimes between 5 & 6am to give her another bottle and try to get her back to sleep 'til our alarm goes off at 6:45.

  8. sotofamilia

    kiwi / 612 posts

    Yes, definitely. I EBF both babies -he brings the baby to me, I feed her in our bed, and then I put her back down. We don't change her anymore in the middle of the night.

    I sometimes will get her too if he's had a hard day or I wake up first, but I absolutely need to feel like we're on the same team in the middle of the night, and that means I poke him awake and he gets her. This is our second baby and we did the same thing with our first, so we're in a good groove with night wakings.

  9. looch

    wonderful pear / 26210 posts

    I insisted he didn't help. There was nothing to do, if he did help we just ended up arguing and he would end up more sleep deprived than he already was. I was staying at home so I slept during the day when needed.

  10. QBbride

    pomegranate / 3192 posts

    No, never. But honestly I never expected him too. I am breastfeeding, so if I'm getting up to feed I might as well change the diaper etc. Plus I was on maternity leave, so that's the whole point!

  11. codeitall

    clementine / 874 posts

    DH is half deaf, so he never heard the baby (or the toddler) till after I'd already been listening to the whining/crying for 5 minutes. And DH just wasn't as good at putting him down to stay down.

    However, DH really wanted to be contributing, so half the time, I would wake him up and then resign myself to doing it again a little later.

  12. hellobeeboston

    honeydew / 7235 posts

    Not really, but mainly because both babies were breast fed.


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